To think this is the most fucking annoying comeback on Mumsnet

[Hobnobswantshernameback]

"Well at least you have a mother/dog/budgie/great aunt mine is dead and I'd give anything to have them here"

Yes we should all suck up the most awful behaviour from other people and be grateful for their mere existence as one day they will be dead
Someone says that they are in some way annoyed by someone else's behaviour
And
Every
Ducking
Time
"Well at least you have a father (even if he is a serial killer) mine is dead and I'd give anything to have them back"
Aaagghhhhh

@LolaSmiles I don't knwo! I've never been in hot tub😔 I am a shame if MN. No spa day, no hot tub experience...

@DillonPanthersTexas

A hot tub? Don't you mean germ-infested sex pond

I went on a group ski trip in my 20s where about 18 of us shared a chalet with a hot tub. I swear by day four you could stand a spoon up in it, it was like porridge.....

Why?! Weren't you all showering?

My first post on Gransnet (yeh, i'm that old) was a moan about my DH who refused to push forward our house sale (he'd agreed to do that/I'd agreed to deal with other shit) I genuinely needed a good winge about him, he'd been working from home for donkies and we were in each others space.

One poster wrote a soliloquy about how she'd lost her DH and how ungrateful i was..... Granted, her situation is probably horrible but I can't be arsed with "What about me" ers!

misery competition comebacks is the worst, but atm for me it has to

‘Have you not noticed there is a pandemic’
‘That is against current guidelines’

When the issue isnt even about that!!!

Eg there was a thread about a woman having drinks with her boss or something and how his wife was uncomfortable (if I remember correctly, anyways not the point) and the first few responses were ‘there is a pandemic’ you shouldnt be out at all- poster was in Australia and the topic wasnt bloody covid!

Oh another one,

Poster complaining about dickish behaviour of someone, you’re always guaranteed to get the ‘maybe they are on the spectrum’ or have ‘special needs’

Or maybeee they are a dick for the sake of being a dick!

LASHINGS OF REAL BUTTER

@Pinkiii

Oh another one,

Poster complaining about dickish behaviour of someone, you’re always guaranteed to get the ‘maybe they are on the spectrum’ or have ‘special needs’

Or maybeee they are a dick for the sake of being a dick!

Likewise when an older person is being a dick "could it be dementia OP?"......because God forbid, there maybe old people who are just nasty.

YY to autism and narcissism. Most of us are self-centred at times. Hardly any of us have narcissistic personality disorder - except on MN, where it afflicts every MIL, SIL and Ex.

Also the idea that children with any additional need are totally different from all other children (even though additional needs can mean anything from mild dyslexia to profound disability) and that no parent who doesn't have a child with additional needs can have anything useful to say. IRL this is not how families with kids with additional needs work - you do a lot the same for all the kids, and adapt as required. But on MN, anyone posting about any child with additional needs will be told to ignore posters without one (though in fairness, posters do make some really stupid suggestions about kids with additional needs).

@EveryDayIsADuvetDay

Must be the reply LTB - occasionally justified, but when it's in response to he folded the tea towels the wrong way/didn't recycle the Christmas wrapping paper/answered a phone call or similar??!!

This.

Too often the knee-jerk response is 'LTB' - which is really unhelpful to someone asking for support.

And I'll say it again
The bitchplop and run poster
Even on this thread one misery wanker has to do it
I don't get what they get from doing it
Apart from the satisfaction of being an utter wanker

Ooh, since reading this thread I've seen a whole bunch of 'going against the grain' posts where the poster just repeats what has already been said by several PPs.

Hadn't noticed those before!

Jesus this thread has made me realise my sister probably lurks MN too. She does the "wow did you mean to be so rude" (despite being one of the most scathing people I know irl) and the "give your head a wobble" irl quite a bit. I'm going to be squinting at you all very suspiciously now...

@Pinkiii posters from England predominantly from what I gathered, are "doing Hollywood" now. Kind of forgetting the rest of the world exists🙈

Swear to god. I could start a thread about farts and someone would come in with corona or brexit😂

I hate the threads that start "Name changed but long time poster...penis beaker, naice ham etc etc"
1-Why does being a long term poster make any difference to the thread
2-The post is usually not in anyway identifying in real life, why name change
3-Anyone can reel off a list of "classic" threads it proves nothing
And
4- (ready for the back lash) penis beaker wasn't all that funny. Just odd.

I've just nearly done it and actually had to consciously stop myself from pointing out that week in tier 4 is nothing compared to months in tier 3 (which was essentially the same before)🙈
Oh no. I am infected. Must fight it

@Lex345

I hate the threads that start "Name changed but long time poster...penis beaker, naice ham etc etc" 1-Why does being a long term poster make any difference to the thread 2-The post is usually not in anyway identifying in real life, why name change 3-Anyone can reel off a list of "classic" threads it proves nothing And 4- (ready for the back lash) penis beaker wasn't all that funny. Just odd.

It makes a difference because it staves off the clever clogs who say ‘Interesting first post, OP’ with an air of great profundity and lots of emojis. The post is not necessarily identifying in itself, but may become so with particularly bored people who advance-search in order to dispute your number of children, and who can thus pick up from previous threads the part of the country you live in, what you do, what your DH does, your fanaticism about triathlons or macramé, your child’s investigation for glue ear/dyslexia, your complex relationship with stepcdaughters who are 11, 15 and 21 etc etc. Together quite identifying, and perhaps not something you want to be linked to your gonorrhoea symptoms/affair with Nigel from Accounts/Lovehoney habit.

Agreed that listing classic threads proves nothing but a familiarity with the idea that long term posters who NC habitually do it, so it suggests vaguely that you know the board habits.

Also agree that ‘penis beaker’ was not rip-roaringly funny. Neither was ‘Mexican house thief’, ‘Elderly Korean lady’, ‘snapped and farted’, ‘Boswell’, or ‘Sistine Chapel screamer’. And the Savernake forest scary story is a competent bit of writing that doesn’t really deserve its reputation.

Most of the classic 'hilarious' MN threads aren't funny.

I hate the multiple 'He sounds awful' posts on the relationship threads.
Its the opposite of helpful, and just feels like the poster is trying to make the OP feel worse!

Mumsnet classics is a pit of terminally unfinished crap
And half the threads in there are made up bollocks

Is your Google broken?'

No but it doesn't chat to me, share experiences or make me laugh. No need to be a twat about it.

😂😂

Whenever I see the phrase, "I've name changed for this", I think it's because the poster has been an utter c$$t to others about a situation they've now found themselves in and they don't want it thrown back in their face.

I can understand name changing. Threads turn up in the Daily Mail, so someone could recognise and look you up, finding all about your recent breast lump issues or husband's affair or something.

This is one of the big divides between humans, on a par with Brexit v Remain or whatever.
Group One, let's call them 'the nice people'. When they encounter another person with a problem, they will respond with empathy and help. Group Two, let's call them 'the self-righteous twat people.' When they encounter another person with a problem, they will respond with blame and belittlement.
The latter group, however, are sponges for sympathy themselves whenever they have a difficulty, which of course is never of their own making.
I have for most of my life been a member of Group Two but have been making huge efforts to reform after experiencing the warmth and support of a number of Group Ones at a time of huge need.
My mother took lack of sympathy to an almost comical level. We used to have a (sick) family joke that if one of us rang up and said we had been beheaded, she would have replied that Monica down the road had not only been beheaded but had her legs cut off as well so think yourself lucky. A problem may not be as bad as someone else's problem - of course in a developed world country, it rarely is - and that can be a useful way of gaining perspective, but it shouldn't be a dismissal.

Oh yes I've experienced this in real life a few times. Both when mentioning my mother's shitty behaviour/benign neglect (Well at least she's still alive........ I'd give anything to see my lovely mum again we were best friends) and also when mentioning my husband being difficult to live with at times due to his executive dysfunction (well at least he actually puts dishes in the dishwasher, you should be grateful, my husband never lifts a finger etc etc)
Both from the same person, amongst other shitty backhanded insults. It's quite manipulative and a way of shutting others down, never acknowledging their problems or showing empathy and yes, misery top trumps. "I deserve sympathy more than you so shut up" type thing. Horrible behaviour. She's a fucking twat