To want to leave DH over left overs!

[Theruralrouse]

NC as outing.

Only it’s not just about leftovers. When it comes to my DH I only ever have two options:

Option 1-
Me: (massively micro managing) Right, so Combine the meat products into one bowl and the veggies into another. Make sure to drain all the excess oil/water and cover them then put them straight in the fridge. Ok? You got that? Any questions?
DH: (eye rolling) I know how to pack up leftovers!!!

Option 2-
Me: Can you fridge the leftovers?
DH: yes sure.
next day
Me: (pregnant ugly crying at the uncovered mass of meat/veg soup sat in inches of oil and slop fluid and stinking of the strong smelling other fridge contents) FFS why did you even bother?
DH: (angrily) You just said fridge it. I’m not a mind reader!

It has occurred to me recently that when DH and I met I incorporated how he liked things. I make his food the way he likes, I wash his clothes the way he prefers, I generally do his stuff in line with his preferences. DH does all my stuff his way, unless I remind him every single time. He sees it as ‘no big deal’ and reacts with either angry silence or making out I’m over reacting. He is a wonderful father and provider and I think at this point that’s the only reason we are still together. We have no real relationship.

I just look at the clothes. Pick the appropriate programme for the fabrics and put the powder/liquid in and turn the machine on.
🤷🏼‍♀️

its not about a right way and a wrong way. If you care about someone, you make an effort to do things the way they like. You have made that effort for him, he has not for you. He may be a good dad or provider, but he is not putting equal effort into his relationship with you. And doesnt sound like he is open to doing so.

Yeah that would annoy me OP. Storing leftovers property so that they can be re-used and still be nice is not rocket science.

Our whole Boxing Day meal today was reheated Christmas Day food - parsnips - lovely and crunchy the second time round if you get it right. If you don’t they will just be soggy. Didn’t reheat the turkey obviously but I wouldn’t be happy to find it slopping in a pool of gravy.

@MintyMabel

I’m just wondering how there is more than one way to do washing.

I wash certain clothes that lose their colour on 30 delicate cycle despite the fact the label says 40, as they keep colour for longer, for example.

I handwash a lot of stuff that could be put in the machine or drycleaned.

I hear you OP. It's the bloody drudge of it all. I'm sick of doing stuff like cooking but then having to ask DH to put it in fridge. D remind him to cover it. It is indeed like having a child. It's wearing and tiring and disrespectful. We've had a chat bout this recently as I was nearing the end. Last night DH did cover leftovers but I suspect very late as they had a crust on them. So I had to make new mash today as I didn't want crusty old mash yet he would havd eaten it

@Lemmeout

You do things the way he likes He doesn’t do things the way you like. A- Do it yourself. B. Compromise. Do you have reason to believe he deliberately does things to irritate you or are his standards different?

C. Ask him to do things the way you like. If he doesn't, explain why your way is the best way and ask him to do it like that from now on.

Who gets to say why her way is the best way? Why should he have to change if the way he does things doesn’t bother him?

@Mdmd

Who gets to say why her way is the best way? Why should he have to change if the way he does things doesn’t bother him?

Then presumably the other way wouldn’t bother him either. And OP’s way you could at least re-use the food, this way you can’t really.

I can. I did. I must bunged everything into plastic boxes. I’ll drain roasties if they need to be drained before I heat them.

Oh God, I feel judged here! DH let me have a lie in AND I had a nap this afternoon. I hope he doesn’t decide he deserves better.

She was up at 4. He slept 5 hours longer. And had a nap later. Op is bf so it's probably not a one off inequality either. It totally takes the piss.

@Mdmd

I can. I did. I must bunged everything into plastic boxes. I’ll drain roasties if they need to be drained before I heat them.

Yet OP’s DH’s way she couldn’t reuse the food.

Yes she could. It went in the fridge. It would have been fine.

I don’t always cover stuff if I cba and it’s reusable

Honest.

Unless you’ve been in the OP’s house indeed her fridge you can’t say what was edible and what wasn’t. Some people are happy to food the cat’s licked. Doesn’t mean the OP has to.

She said he put it in the fridge just not covered and drained.

She didn’t say the cat licked it.

And if the op doesn’t like how he puts food in the fridge then she could have done it after she had fed the baby.

The point is that your views on what’s edible and the OP’s may not be the same. You and her DH may have similar laziness and low standards. As you haven’t been to her house you can’t make a call on it. And as it bothers her, her DH is the one who needs to compromise on this occasion.

Why should the DH be treated as such a child that OP has to put the food away as well as feed the baby. He’s an adult.

@TatianaBis

The point is that your views on what’s edible and the OP’s may not be the same. You and her DH may have similar laziness and low standards. As you haven’t been to her house you can’t make a call on it. And as it bothers her, her DH is the one who needs to compromise on this occasion.

Why does her DH need to compromise?

Why can’t she plate the stuff up in her Tupperware with labels all by herself if it bothers her that much?

My attitude would be as long as it isn’t putting us at risk of food poisoning and is re-heatable (which these were and are) then it’s fine and if my partner wanted it in labelled precise Tupperware he could do it himself.

Your attitude is not relevant here. It’s OP’s house and her DH.

Yeah and I’d put the leftovers away to my standard just like her DH did.

Not in OP’s house you won’t.

Isn’t it his house too? Isn’t he allowed to make decisions for himself?

If his decisions upset the OP, then no.

If I do something with my husband’s food that continually upsets then of course I wouldn’t continue.

OP is pregnant and breastfeeding.

The way the H put the food away left her with inedible slop.

Her H is a dick.

Just stop putting him first and doing things the way he likes. Put yourself and DC first.
Hand your DC to him and go nap/for a quiet drive/ anything you want.

Is he really a good father? What does ‘good father’ constitute to you? You’re getting up with DC & still BF, he’s taking naps in the afternoon and having lie ins. When does he perform his fetes of amazing fatherhood?

I’m gonna ignore all the cooking tips/personal storage opinions because that’s really not the point and totally details the thread.

DH wasted a load of perfectly good food (he wouldn't even eat it himself so it’s been thrown out) and I feel like I’m living with someone who I can’t relinquish any mental load to because he just will do a half arsed job and call it a success.

Last night I wasn’t in the best mood so he stayed up watching Tv and I went to bed without giving him a giant check list of exactly what to do before coming to bed
I literally just said ‘can you lock up?’

I’ve just got downstairs to find our patio doors unlocked. Good job we didn’t get burgled or DS snatched

I’m just sick of it, I can’t even send DH to the supermarket. He comes back missing half the list shrugging his shoulders like ‘they didn’t have that’ - no alternative.

They didn’t have a single potato or any milk did they? Ffs!