How can I make him go home?

[yorkie99]

Dad came to visit for Christmas Day (both single adult households so all fine support bubble etc), he lives a couple of hours away. I thought I’d made it clear it was just for one night but he’s just dropped in he plans to stay again all day and tonight (and who knows, longer?!). I have an 8 month old baby and I was really looking forward to spending the day with him in our pyjamas and just the two of us. Dad is also very uncommunicative and I’ve just had to retreat upstairs as we were sat in silence for an hour and it’s not even 10am. AIBU to want him to do one? And how do I get him to leave without hurting his feelings?

Except @daisychain01 the OP has posted a follow up post explaining all that an hour before you posted.

If you ant be bothered to read all the OP's posts before venturing an opinion, the only person that reflects badly on is you.

@daisychain01

@Clymebe says it all above.

The "dripfeed" was an hour before you decided to post your complete bollocks. The information was there, you just found reading it to be too difficult inn your haste to criticise the OP.

@Clymene

Except *@daisychain01* the OP has posted a follow up post explaining all that an hour before you posted.

If you ant be bothered to read all the OP's posts before venturing an opinion, the only person that reflects badly on is you.

You're way too invested. I explained what happened.

If you want to sit there nit picking and thinking it was me deliberately being nasty, rather than what actually happened (loads of people just read the OP, if they are on a mobile device like I was) then feel free to think what you like. Shame.

[quote ArnoJambonsBike]@daisychain01

@Clymebe says it all above.

The "dripfeed" was an hour before you decided to post your complete bollocks. The information was there, you just found reading it to be too difficult inn your haste to criticise the OP.[/quote]
The OP asked for an opinion, I gave one.

God forbid a man reaps what he sowed.

Yup.

And yes, many people are missing parents this time of year but OP presumably missed her dad in the decades he didn't bother to show up. It is true that the minimum expected of women in families is the maximum expected of men. Show up? You deserve to be waited in hand and foot.

@yorkie99

Sorry about the drip feed! Didn’t occur to me that this would be important but yeah he wasn’t a great dad. I’ve had a hard time getting pregnant (solo mother by choice) and it’s the first time I’ve been happy at Christmas for years and years and it’s because of my little boy, I guess I just wanted to enjoy that. I don’t not think this is selfish!

As a solo choice mum too, can I just say that though you've had a bumpy road, you may need your dad and whatever family you have over the years.

I've managed solo, have a supportive family. But have had a couple of events occur where my emotional response to situations I usually manage took me by surprise and I really needed that shoulder to lean on before I could brush myself off and carry on. And surprisingly they were not the issues I anticipated.

So enjoy your time with him, then enjoy your time after. You have long stretches ahead where you'll be alone with lo. 😊