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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Report police officer sister or not?

139 replies

Housethief · 26/12/2020 00:25

My sister is a police officer who drink drives, has had an affair with my ex, was arrested at her 'do' at her last work place for aggression/drunk and disorderly (started on a colleague of hers) but was sleeping with the boss at the time and got a god ref anyway. Should I report this, or let it lie? It makes me uneasy that the recruitment process allows such people to 'slip under the net' .. But don't know if my view is spiteful and clouded by the fact she slept with the father of my child and she's my sister and maybe it's just a personal vendetta and I'm trying to react and hurt her like she did me.. I just feel weird that she's helping to "protect the public"

OP posts:

TheoriginalLEM · 26/12/2020 00:28

If she is drinking and driving you have a duty to report her. Is she quite well?

WorraLiberty · 26/12/2020 00:28

She drink drives and that could cause a death, so yes report her next time.

All the rest is personal and nothing to do with her job.

AnyFucker · 26/12/2020 00:29

Report the drink driving.

TheoriginalLEM · 26/12/2020 00:31

The police is a reportable profession and as such, any quetionable behaviour can affect her job. However i suspect she can shag who she likes. The prime minister has questionable morals so...

FuckOffBorisYouTwat · 26/12/2020 00:33

I would report any drink driver irrelevant of who they were. Fucking bastards.

Lalliella · 26/12/2020 00:38

She can shag who she wants but drink driving is a criminal offence and could kill. You should report her for that.

Original poster

Housethief · 26/12/2020 00:39

Haha, I know she can do what she likes with who she likes (it doesn't hurt any less, but the question of morals is raised?). but the drink driving and the aggression and the unfaithfulness.. A police officer? I don't know if you can report 'historical' drink driving but she used to drink 2 bottles of wine a night, every night and twice weekly then drive to my mums when she argued with her P. O boyfriend. I find it strange she can uphold the law while breaking laws. Imagine being arrested for drunk driving from someone who did it regularly, I feel as though it really questions police legitimacy and the recruitment process.

OP posts:

101namesforme · 26/12/2020 00:41

The only person I know who drink drives is also a police officer. Makes me so angry and I have had words. Never been a case where I could report and they would not be back at home before I got through to someone though.

YANBU to report, in fact you have a duty to if you know she is about to get in a car and drive whilst under the influence. You could save someone’s life.

Waveysnail · 26/12/2020 00:42

But does she drink drive now?

Sproutgrower · 26/12/2020 00:44

Certainly report the drink driving (anonymously) so you can sit back and watch the fireworks. To be honest you don’t sound overly fond of your ds

Justgorgeous · 26/12/2020 00:47

Was she drunk at her assessment interview then ? Has she been caught drink driving? why are you questioning the recruitment process? How would they know?

purplecorkheart · 26/12/2020 00:47

Does she drink drive now? Yes, report. Unfaithfulness, morally wrong but not illegal.

ExtraOnions · 26/12/2020 00:48

The police uphold the law, they are not the moral police . They won’t be interested in who she has slept with. They will have run a DBS check on her when she started in the police force so any arrests or cautions would be on there.
If she is still drink driving you are quite right to report it, but I doubt that they will do much with a report of historic drink driving.

TheoriginalLEM · 26/12/2020 00:50

Youre going to struggle with past events. Actually her behaviour can be scrutinised and conduct that brings the profession into question is bad juju. However, if everyone who was a bit of a cunt lost their jobs there'd be very few people in work

Hearnoevilspeaknoevil · 26/12/2020 00:51

Drink driving is a must. She could kill another.
However, I have very little faith in the polices ability to investigate their own.
We have a serving officer neighbour whose partner was arrested for threatening a local youth with a knife. She was with him when alleged incident happened. He's been charged and in court soon. No one appears to give a shit about her being with him whilst walking around in the afternoon as school kids walked home and her partner decides its a good idea to pull out the weapon he left the house with in anticipation of seeing the youth who had riled him , her failure to calm down the subsequent confrontation or that she left their home with an armed person. Protect the public. My ass. In my area, this person has caused so many to doubt the police....

Gwenhwyfar · 26/12/2020 00:52

@FuckOffBorisYouTwat

I would report any drink driver irrelevant of who they were. Fucking bastards.

What about people who drive when they're tired. That's also very dangerous.

Chanjer · 26/12/2020 00:55

Drink driving is the only thing

If you wouldn't grass a mate up, but you'd grass her cos you hate her that's a horrible move

If you'd grass a mate up for it too, then go for it with clear conscience

Divebar · 26/12/2020 00:56

Reporting historical drink driving is pointless - you pretty much have to be caught committing the offence. You would need to report her at the time ( although you didn’t before despite knowing it was a regular thing?) I would have thought that a previous arrest would have flagged up on her vetting to get in - presumably that did not result in any formal action by the police? I don’t really think you’re personally worried about the reputation of the police I think it rankles you that she should be telling people what to do when you consider her behaviour so questionable - and yes I think it’s motivated by revenge. You need to separate the infidelity out from the other matters as they won’t be interested in that and actually creates a motivation for a false allegation as far as your sister is concerned. I dare say if she is as chaotic and unstable as you’ve painted her she’ll come unstuck soon enough

Casschops · 26/12/2020 00:56

If she has been arrested the police will already know.

CoolCatTaco · 26/12/2020 01:00

Two bottles of wine, every night but can still get a job & keep it? Not sure I believe that. Are you still in close contact with her? If not, how do you know what she does??

Original poster

Housethief · 26/12/2020 01:04

I love how people are pulling me up on not liking my sister.. Would you like someone you adored to sleep with your partner who you had a child with, ruined your family and drunk drove most weekends then got a job as a police officer... Morals or not, being arrested by someone for doing what they have done how is that right? Drunk and disorderly, threatening behaviour, drunk driving and a police officer. Tbh I though the recruitment process would filter out such people. Would you like to be arrested for rape by a rapist who wasn't caught, an arsonist who wasn't caught? A drink driver who drove over the limit by a long way? I also didn't know she'd applied for the police or had been recruited until months after she had been. It is a vendetta, I see that from your replies I'll let it lie thank you all.

OP posts:

Squeejit · 26/12/2020 01:05

If she was arrested, they will already know. I’d leave that be.

If you know she’s drunk behind the wheel then you need to report it when it’s happening so they can actually catch her - it’s no use saying you know she does this, as it can’t be proven after the event.

The recruitment process can only go so far. It can look at recorded convictions or incidents, but it can’t uncover things which haven’t been put on record.

BooFuckingHoo2 · 26/12/2020 01:08

We have a serving officer neighbour whose partner was arrested for threatening a local youth with a knife. She was with him when alleged incident happened. He's been charged and in court soon. No one appears to give a shit about her being with him whilst walking around in the afternoon as school kids walked home and her partner decides its a good idea to pull out the weapon he left the house with in anticipation of seeing the youth who had riled him , her failure to calm down the subsequent confrontation or that she left their home with an armed person.

Wtf!! You’re actually suggesting that woman should lose her job for not single handedly confronting a man with a knife whilst (I’m assuming?) personally unarmed. If he’s the sort of dick head to carry a knife around children then he’s probably even worse at home, sounds like a pretty terrifying man to me.

AccidentallyOnSanta · 26/12/2020 01:09

So you have no idea if she's been drink driving since she became a police officer?

cabbageking · 26/12/2020 01:10

They need to catch her drink driving.
If you know she is drink driving report her at the time not later.
A background check will have been completed on her.

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