Report police officer sister or not?

[Housethief]

My sister is a police officer who drink drives, has had an affair with my ex, was arrested at her 'do' at her last work place for aggression/drunk and disorderly (started on a colleague of hers) but was sleeping with the boss at the time and got a god ref anyway. Should I report this, or let it lie? It makes me uneasy that the recruitment process allows such people to 'slip under the net' .. But don't know if my view is spiteful and clouded by the fact she slept with the father of my child and she's my sister and maybe it's just a personal vendetta and I'm trying to react and hurt her like she did me.. I just feel weird that she's helping to "protect the public"

Report her for what? Being a woman of loose morals?

If she drink drives again, report her straight away.

You should have reported her when you knew she was drink driving. You knew she did it habitually and which nights she'd be driving to your mum's. Plenty of information. You didn't bother.

Part of your anger is frustration with yourself, is for not dealing with any of this assertively or effectively at the time.

You are a case study in the self-destructive power of anger.

You clearly have no idea how high the rate of affairs and divorce are in the Police if you’re questioning whether should she be unfaithful if she’s a Police Officer.

I’m confused by your post,, who is the rapist and arsonist. The Police will be fully aware of any previous arrests of your sister and any other Police involvement with her. @Hearnoevilspeaknoevil the Police do investigate their own but the independent office for police conduct also investigate serious offences.

OP it sounds like you don’t know whether she drinks and drives current,y. If you know she does you need to report it to the Police.

The police uphold the law, they are not the moral police . They won’t be interested in who she has slept with

If she’s sleeping with colleagues then that does get investigated internally I believe. Possibly the outcome would be they aren’t allowed to work on the same team in case of fall out rather than any real consequences, but on my friends force it’s definitely disapproved of.

Your sister sounds like she has further problems that need to he resolved. It's making me laugh how people believe that all police possess morals. Somebody questioned up thread if you would like a rapist to arrest a rapist? Well, that's very likely to have happened in the Force. I heard a statistic that in America 40% of male police officers are domestic abusers. I have nothing against the police btw, some I've met have been very kind but, they are human.

My sister irritates me also. She's never worked a day in her life and is completely smug. She always lands on her feet. Her partner earns a good wage equivalent to mine but she's claiming single benefits and has done for years! At times when she has been extraordinarily smug I've considered reporting her however, I just can't bring myself to. I look at her beautiful children and think of our parents and I couldn't do it. In fact, I wouldn't even be able to sleep right if I did. Funny thing is, she still comes to me for money when they run out. Not sure I could get over what your sister did though. I'd be spitting chips.

I would also agree with the people who said report the drunk driving!

I to have had surprises as to people I have known that have been selected as police. (People not in good shape mentally, or physically, without strong morals).

However I don't think you can report someone because, you heard from your mum that they drink drive, and this happened in the past. There is no prosecutable crime. Obviously if you have anything else report, because as I say there are plenty of police officers that aren't from the top draw.

The police aren't going to be interested and can't do anything on you telling them she has driven under the influence in the past. No evidence, and you're just going to look like you're settling a score. And I say this as a police pensioner. I quite see how you don't like her, but that isn't relevant to the drink driving. If she is drink driving now, and you have evidence she is about to drive, I would consider ringing and reporting her BUT tell her you will do this, so she may think twice about doing it. But do not expect relations to improve. But yes, I wouldn't be able to live with colluding with someone who may cause a serious accident.

@Housethief

The reporting was impossible as it was my mum ringing me in the morning each time shocked at how drunk she was driving to her house, and expressing her concerns to me about it

You could still have reported it with her reg number and the police would have looked out for her driving late at night.

You do seem more concerned that she slept with your ex. This is allowed and not morally wrong towards you obviously it’s morally wrong toward her existing partner but not illegal. You do seem a lot more concerned about who she is having sex with rather than the fact that her behaviour could have killed some one.

So you are asking if you can report historical drink driving which you only know about second hand about and didn’t deem worthy of reporting at the time. No I don’t think it’s worth it. As there is no evidence, you didn’t take steps to prevent it at the time and your annoyed with her I’m guessing they will think your report is malicious.

Well according to dd all the bullying nobs at school went into the following professions: males armed forces and police, females: nursing, the nastier the girl the more likely mental health. No exceptions there.
I worked with a child who is now a police officer and my God, I would not contact him if my life depended on it, vile creature he was.
I know people will know ' angels' who work in these professions but I'm speaking from my own experience.

Well according to dd all the bullying nobs at school went into the following professions: males armed forces and police, females: nursing, the nastier the girl the more likely mental health. No exceptions there.
I worked with a child who is now a police officer and my God, I would not contact him if my life depended on it, vile creature he was.
I know people will know ' angels' who work in these professions but I'm speaking from my own experience.

So becoming a police officer clears every act you ever committed?

In theory no, though they'd need to have known about it - and even then the recruiters turn a blind eye to some offences by "looking at the whole picture"

Okay so you're influenced by some of it being too close to home, but if she's still drinking and driving I'd certainly report that bit
Depending on her staus, just don't expect them to do much about it

This post is very odd. The OP is determined to stick the knife in, whatever happens, to settle some aged family fall out and get revenge. This is despite the fact there is is no actual evidence of any criminality.

They can't investigate historical drink driving, they need blood or breath samples so that is pointless. If every police officer who had affairs, were unfaithful, slept with the wrong person there would be very few police officers.

If she was arrested it should have shown up on checks whatever her boss said so must have been written off.

Forget her, it's over.

If every police officer was sacked for u faithfulness there would be none left.

@Candyfloss99

If every police officer was sacked for u faithfulness there would be none left.

*unfaithfulness

You want revenge. You think she has "loose morals" but she's not the one who was unfaithful. That was your ex. He was the one who was supposed to be in a monogamous relationship with you. Are you reporting him to his employer for everything and anything you can think of, too? If so, crack on with ruining the relationship with your sister some more.

Married to a retired police officer and I worked in a civilian role for years. There would be some left, just not many.

I was going to say report for the drink driving, but "historical drink driving"? and "used to drink?"
In other words, sounds like she doesn't now and has stopped, has got herself together.
As for the business of shagging your ex, horrible but yeah, sounds like you just want to cause trouble and "get back at her".
YABU

Stay out of it. Unless you can have her caught in the act of drink driving your reports count for nothing.

I’m a civil servant and had someone threaten to dob me in for breaching my ‘code of ethics’ with a completely made up story. It’s a pretty shit thing to do to someone, especially your sister.

I think the OP has been sitting trying to work out how to get revenge on her sister, if she was so outraged re the drink driving she would have done it at the time.

OP is just being bitchy and not sure I believe the story re sleeping with her other half....

You can’t report for historic but you can if she is still doing it.

She sounds like she has been quite troubled, the police might be the making of her?

Regards her sleeping with your ex, that won’t matter to the police but you are clearly still hurting about it. Try to move on, talk to someone or tell her that you are still hurt by this?

@WhatTiggersDoBest

Do you really think the OP’s sisters didn’t betray her ? That’s definitely a line that shouldn’t be crossed. (Though less so if they’d already split up. The OP hasn’t actually said which is the case.) I’m always amazed at the number of posters who insist that the AP did no wrong, as they didn’t make vows blah blah. You would have a case for saying that if the AP didn’t have any kind of relationship with the lover’s wife/partner. Well maybe she didn’t break actual vows but sleeping with your sister’s partner is nevertheless definitely a betrayal.

I agree that the OP would be right to report drink driving, but she lost the moral high ground by not reporting it at the time. (The DM definitely should have done so.) If it’s historical, there’s obviously no way of proving it.

And I also agree that it sounds like the OP wants to exact revenge on her sister rather than being concerned about doing her civic duty by reporting a drink driver (otherwise she would have done so at the time).

The ‘recruitment process’ happened a long time ago. Presumably you mean that the police structure now should weed out any bad apples?
How do you know what she does at work. Maybe her police work is good?
Tbh, she sounds like a struggling alcoholic.
Her sleeping with your husband is irrelevant to her ability to be a police officer.
You can’t ‘report’ her for anything other than drunk driving as it happens.

If she's putting people's lives at risk yes report her.

Laughing out loud at this idea that the police are somehow paragons of virtue. They are consistently overrepresented in the stats for perpetrating domestic violence for starters, and workplace affairs are apparently rife.

You don't have to love or like your sister, OP. But attempting revenge in this way won't work and won't make you feel better.