Report police officer sister or not?

[Housethief]

My sister is a police officer who drink drives, has had an affair with my ex, was arrested at her 'do' at her last work place for aggression/drunk and disorderly (started on a colleague of hers) but was sleeping with the boss at the time and got a god ref anyway. Should I report this, or let it lie? It makes me uneasy that the recruitment process allows such people to 'slip under the net' .. But don't know if my view is spiteful and clouded by the fact she slept with the father of my child and she's my sister and maybe it's just a personal vendetta and I'm trying to react and hurt her like she did me.. I just feel weird that she's helping to "protect the public"

Honestly, OP, I think you need to examine your motives for this. Obviously, if you know your sister is still drinking and driving then you should report every time you are aware of it. I would think historical incidents are highly unlikely to get anywhere as there will not be evidence. All you have is hearsay, which is not evidence (not that I think your mum is lying). Given the situation, it is highly likely to be dismissed as a malicious report by a vengeful sister (which is not entirely wrong, given your motivation). They won’t care about her sleeping with your ex-partner as it is not illegal or impacting on her ability to do her job.

I think you also need to examine your own morals re the drink driving. You knew about it but didn’t report it. You might not have liked it, but did you say anything to her? Did you encourage your mum to say anything or report her to the police? Neither you nor your mother come out squeaky clean from this either if you knew about her behaviour and did nothing about it. You want to report her now to get revenge. I think “keeping people safe’ is, at best, a very distant secondary motivation in all of this. As such, it’s hypocritical. Yes, if you know she is still drinking and driving you must report it (whatever the motivation), but leave the past alone.

I think you need to let go of the past- you don’t have to like your sister, nor do you have to “forgive and forget”. You don’t need to have any relationship with her at all, if you don’t want to. I can see why you would be hurt by her actions (though not clear if you were still in a Relationship with your ex-partner at the time she slept with him, or not. Whilst I’d be hurt by either, the former is clearly worse than the latter). But you do need to move past it for your own sake because holding on to so much bitterness and anger, wanting revenge etc is only going to blight your life and bring you more unhappiness. You need to find a way to come to terms with the past and work towards a more positive future. Not easy, you may need some help to do so- but I think would be the most beneficial thing for you to do.

I really don't know why you think police officers are amazing people?

I know police officers who take drugs. And of course arrest people for doing the same.

Its just a job to most of them.

Your sister sounds like an absolute prick tbh. I'd just go no contact and leave the past in the past.

Did she sleep with your ex whilst you were still together or after you had split?
Does she still drink and drive or are you just saying that you think you know she used to do because of what your mum said? Why didn't you / your mum report at the time?
How long has she been a police officer?
Her sex life is absolutely not an indication of ability to be a good officer.

@Yummymummy2020 - the drink driving was YEARS ago. Not recently or currently. OP could only report her if she borrowed the TARDIS.

So you’ve no clue if she still drink drives? And you’ve no evidence she ever has?

Sure. Report her. They will put it down to vindictiveness and spite, a malicious report, which is what it is.

I’m not sure exactly what you think her bosses will do? Say. Oh your sister says you used to drink drive, we believe her too, and apparantly you shagged her ex. You’re fired..

Cos that’s not gonna happen op.

What do you thin' is involved in police staff background checks?

They don't follow new recruits around for 6 months pre-hiring to check their moral fortitude.

They look for credit history and prior reports/convictions. If your sister had no issues on those then she would have passed the background check process.

You absolutely should report her if you become aware of her currently drink driving so she can be stopped and tested and concvicted if she is over the limit, but you can't report a past litany of stuff you think makes her a bad person and expect anyone to act on it.

If you don't like her go NC.

Sounds to me that while the sister was a fuckup with a chaotic lifestyle everything was "ok".

It's only now that she might've straighten up has a job that gives her some respectability and is less of a "fuck up" that everything is a big issue that should be reported .

There's nothing they can do if there isn't any evidence, unless you report her and they catch her at the time, it's pointless.

They wouldn't give a fuck about the personal stuff, that stuff will go on all the time within a force and nothing will happen so don't expect any force to care about what she's done outside of work/before she came a cop/when she's not breaking the law

Is the drink driving historical or not? I can't work out from the OP's posts.- half the time she makes it sound like her sister is currently cruising the streets half cut on the weekends and then in other posts, it sounds historical.

If it's historical, you need proof. Otherwise you'll just sound like an embittered sister, which you do here (and perhaps with good reason).

Report her before she kills some innocent person.
I'm very surprised her colleagues haven't noticed though.

Report. Drinking and driving takes lives.

The op has no idea if she’s currently drink driving. There is nothing to report.

So you wish to report previous behaviour as revenge for her sleeping with your partner?!

Whilst I get that your clearly hurt it takes 2 are you going to report your ex partner to his boss for moral conduct?!

I could understand reporting her if she was currently drink driving and leaving a property but from your posts she isn't doing this it's previous. Your hurting and want her to feel an ounce of your pain so want to cause issues with her employer.

I suggest you put your energy into letting go and moving on.

If every police officer who had an affair was fired we'd have hardly a police force left, the divorce rate is very high for police and infidelity with colleagues is common, for all kinds of reasons. You can't report a historic drink drive offence, you have no evidence of because your mum told you ages ago. If she does it now report her. FFS I get why you don't like her but haven't you got better things to do than dream up vendettas..... Go into a police station with what you've said here and all you will do is embarrass yourself.