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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Report police officer sister or not?

139 replies

Housethief · 26/12/2020 00:25

My sister is a police officer who drink drives, has had an affair with my ex, was arrested at her 'do' at her last work place for aggression/drunk and disorderly (started on a colleague of hers) but was sleeping with the boss at the time and got a god ref anyway. Should I report this, or let it lie? It makes me uneasy that the recruitment process allows such people to 'slip under the net' .. But don't know if my view is spiteful and clouded by the fact she slept with the father of my child and she's my sister and maybe it's just a personal vendetta and I'm trying to react and hurt her like she did me.. I just feel weird that she's helping to "protect the public"

OP posts:
Original poster
Housethief · 26/12/2020 01:11

@AccidentallyOnSanta

So you have no idea if she's been drink driving since she became a police officer?
So becoming a police officer clears every act you ever committed?
OP posts:
BooFuckingHoo2 · 26/12/2020 01:11

Would you like someone you adored to sleep with your partner who you had a child with, ruined your family and drunk drove most weekends then got a job as a police officer.

No I wouldn’t like it, but I’d respect the fact that f they hadn’t been convicted they were free to work for the police. I’d also be reporting them (and anyone else) who drink drove!

VulvaPerson · 26/12/2020 01:14

The drink driving yes. Her sex life though, is not really here nor there, though I can understand why this makes you angry towards her. She will be caught sooner or later with the drink driving, its best to catch it before se hurts/kills someone/herself really.

ThisShitDontMatter · 26/12/2020 01:15

Your sister sounds like a cunt who done an unforgivable thing with your childs father and I absolutely hate drink drivers, they think they are untouchable! Fucking cheek of some people in the police. I agree with you OP!

VulvaPerson · 26/12/2020 01:15

Not sure how you think the police can screen for offenses someone has not been convicted for though really.

Thisusernameistakenagain · 26/12/2020 01:16

It isnt illegal to have loose morals, have sex with someone who is married, be an arsehole or be drunk.

It is illegal to be drunk in charge of a mechanically propelled vehicle. If you know she is doing that, report her. At the time. None of the other things hold any clout.

StopSquirtingBleachOnCaneToads · 26/12/2020 01:16

Who she has slept with is irrelavent (although I completely get why you dislike her for having an affair with your ex as I would feel the same way).

The drink driving is awful and absolutely should be reported, although I'm not sure exactly how you report historic cases of it. It seems more the sort of thing you would report at the time it was happening.

Original poster
Housethief · 26/12/2020 01:21

The reporting was impossible as it was my mum ringing me in the morning each time shocked at how drunk she was driving to her house, and expressing her concerns to me about it

OP posts:
Snowy0w1 · 26/12/2020 01:24

omg, do not report your sister. leave well alone. step back.

eaglejulesk · 26/12/2020 01:30

You can only report the drink/driving if it is still happening. The rest has nothing whatsoever to do with her job. Do you really think having an affair doesn't happen in the police force? The police are there to uphold the laws of the land - not the moral code! If she's been arrested then there will be a record of it, that obviously didn't bother the recruitment people. You sound bitter and spiteful, and for your own sake I suggest you let it go.

Tinacollada · 26/12/2020 01:31

This sounds like a load of crap.

If you see / know of someone drink driving at the time then obviously report it.

Police officers and staff don't have DBS checks, they have to go through vetting.

cabbageking · 26/12/2020 01:32

Clearly this has festered.

It may be hurting you more by hanging on to these feelings perhaps?

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 26/12/2020 01:34

Goodness! Xmas Shock

WelcomeToGreenvale · 26/12/2020 02:01

Sounds like she was doing this for a long time and you did nothing, and now she's cleaned up and got a good job you now suddenly feel the need to report it.

If she's committed a crime recently, then report it, absolutely. If she's drink driving as a police officer, that's a real problem and they'll investigate it. If these are things she did years ago that were never reported at the time and could never be proven, then you're just being petty. Spend your time on more worthwhile things.

HappyDays10101 · 26/12/2020 02:04

Nah, you’re just stewing on bitter fantasies. Don’t do it.

yelyah22 · 26/12/2020 02:07

If she does it now and you know, report her. And she sounds like a dick. But you can't report her for past issues.

WelcomeToGreenvale · 26/12/2020 02:07

I'm also fascinated... did she sleep with the father of your child during or after the time you were together? Because your wording makes it seem like you weren't in a relationship with the man at the time... by "had an affair" do you mean she was cheating on her partner? did she actually do anything illegal here? Many aggressive people join the police, that's why the police are how they are. ACAB, but are you just fumbling for excuses to ruin your sister's career? You do sound spiteful tbh

katy1213 · 26/12/2020 02:13

So what happened over Christmas to make you so bitter?

ilovesooty · 26/12/2020 02:17

You can and should report drink driving that you know is currently happening regardless of who the perpetrator is.

The rest won't be of any interest to the police.

DK123 · 26/12/2020 02:23

She sounds like an absolute twat and she's doing something that could easily kill someone. People who drink drive are much more likely to do it again than someone who never has before. If you know she's getting in a car drunk again, I wouldn't hesitate to report it. I doubt you'd get anywhere with reporting a previous incident though, as there wouldn't be any evidence by now, unless she'd been driving into parked cars or something....

MrsJBradders · 26/12/2020 02:36

What a Christmassy thread Hmm

SD1978 · 26/12/2020 02:39

Sorry- you juts sound spiteful. So she was: is a shit of a family meme her who dId drive drunk, who was involved in an aggressive incident and who did sleep. The only thing you report as still being an ongoing thing is how much you despise her for sleeping with your partner- who was always a willing participant. It's not bringing the police into disrepute if not if Thai is happening currently. So no. There is nothing to report. You understandably can't forgive her- but you need to move on and leave it. Are you still with your partner?

SD1978 · 26/12/2020 02:41

And the autocorrect and lack of proof reading has made that painful. Basically- No. none of your complaints are current, and the alleged drink driving was never witnessed by you. She's a shit sister, move on.

Stay123 · 26/12/2020 02:45

Staggered that some people think you are being vindictive because she slept with your ex. I think her sister was the vile, nasty one really. Yes report her for drink driving then they might be able to take her reg and stop and breathalyser her. I should think they have a list of frequent offenders? As for her nastiness in sleeping with your ex it seems it’s the cool thing to live and let live or else you risk looking bitter. Obviously I don’t agree with that.

NotPrude · 26/12/2020 03:13

Wait, the drink driving was historic? So she’s not doing it now?

If so, YABU and extremely vindictive. I know you’ve been hurt but please move on with yo life and stop thinking of ways to get revenge on her.