Opened stockings without me.

[HepLaurenceLB]

I have 3 boys under 5. I spend weeks planning their Xmas presents and stocking fillers. He went downstairs with the boys and opened all of the stockings without me.

He did nothing. Did not buy a single present or organise anything but he got to watch all 3 open their stockings. He said he thought it would be a treat for me to lie in ( until 7.30am) instead of watching. First lie in that he has ever given me. I am so pissed off.
I will suck it up and be jolly but he genuinely will not concede that he has been inconsiderate.

He said he thought it would be a treat for me to lie in ( until 7.30am) instead of watching. First lie in that he has ever given me.
There it is. The Big Important Man patting the Little Woman on the head and giving her the special treat of him actually parenting his own children for once.
That’s a bigger problem than missing the kids stockings IMO.

@Itsrainingatlast
What a sneering, horrible little post that was.
Well done.

man never lets his wife have a lie-in.
man doesnt help his wife with any of xmas preps.
man takes away one of wifes key enjoyment of xmas.

woman complains-

'youre entitled and selfish op'

unbelievable. are you the dh?

Sounds deliberate to me too. Nasty disguised as helpful. My xh has that skill.

@Itsrainingatlast

How fortunate are your children that you can afford to buy them both ‘stocking presents’ and ‘main presents’.

Count your blessings and maybe spare a thought for the millions of children waking up in poverty today where the only Christmas presents will be those donated by the kindness of strangers.

What an extraordinarily first world, entitled and selfish thread this is.

Wow, is there any need? Poor OP has just stated that she was upset and hurt she missed the stockings that she had planned. There was no need for you to be sour, maybe OP works hard to earn her money? Maybe she saved all year? Have you done anything to help the poorer families? How do you know OP hasn't?

It's Christmas Day, give it a rest for one day x

I'd be really disappointed to but this is one of those situations where the intent is really important.

Did he cruelly exclude you or just take them downstairs and buy you an extra hour in bed with the best of intentions.

You still have all the presents to open, this was just the little gifts you'd popped into their stockings yes? I'd enjoy the day and discuss it later.

I can see why you are annoyed but I think YABU. To take them downstairs and let them open nothing would be mean. If him not pulling his weight at Christmas is an issue then I suggest you address that separately.

How fortunate are your children that you can afford to buy them both ‘stocking presents’ and ‘main presents’.

Oh fuck off, life is hard enough at the moment without invalidating people's feelings because others have it 'worse'. If we are playing that game, children here who have no presents are still invariably more fortunate than children living in countries suffering from war, famine, disease and other suffering.

@Itsrainingatlast

How fortunate are your children that you can afford to buy them both ‘stocking presents’ and ‘main presents’.

Count your blessings and maybe spare a thought for the millions of children waking up in poverty today where the only Christmas presents will be those donated by the kindness of strangers.

What an extraordinarily first world, entitled and selfish thread this is.

What a mean-spirited unpleasant post. Go and donate something to charity as penance.

@HepLaurenceLB
Did he not call you??

Did the noise of the children not wake you?

It is strange that you didn't hear the hullabaloo, and get out of bed to join them, but he should have made coffee/tea or whatever and said
''We are opening the stockings soon, get up!''

I don't think there was anything malicious in it, but very odd not to have made sure you were awake.

That 'helpful' version of putting you down and making sure life is awkward is very real. It's got a proper name but i can't remember. See, you are now in a bad mood and he's created drama. You are made to look ungrateful. I bet there are loads of highs and lows in your marriage. I bet he causes them.

@Thegrinchshorriblesister

This thread is bonkers.

He thought she’d appreciate a lie in so let the kids open a few small stocking fillers. He waited untill she got up till they opened the proper presents.

Gas lighting, he’s a cunt, can’t come back from this.. Jesus..

Yeah, I have the feeling the otherwise around would have been met with "if he wanted to be awake he should have set an alarm"

YABU for the 2nd lie in in 18 months. It should be 50 50 and you both know it

OPnks tired and doesn't wake up with 4 other people in household who are under 5 mainly so probably not quiet.

Those people open stockings FROM SANTA

And somehow that's the other person trying to steal the sleeping persons thunder?

I don't know what sort of relationships people have had here? I'm assuming either extremely abusive as you are screaming abuse at this or one where you are in control because you assume this is a game if one upmanship which must be how your relationships are balanced?

I'd be upset not to see the stocking opening. But I'd assume it was from a place I'd live in an equal relationship and just mention Boxing Day that next year however tried you are you'd like to be woken up.

Sinful8

I envy your innocence.

I would be amazed if the kids thought he had done it so no glory stealing wouldn't they assume farther Christmas had done it.
You should of got up can't believe any parent with 3 kids under5 chose Christmas day to have a lie in .
Move on your as much at fault as him don't spoil your day

@itsgettingweird what part of wanting to see them open stockings together is abusive? When he only got up with them twice before? If they did 50/50 or even if he did one day a weekend then sure, I don't think it's unreasonable to be annoyed that one of the only 2 times was Christmas day, and he got to see the excitement when he had done fuck all of the mental load or physical stuff to prep for Christmas.

I would be really angry about this! How selfish and unfair!

I’m still surprised she didn’t get up as there would have been much excitement.

Either she was dead to the world or thought they would wait till she got up.

7:30 is not a lie in and it probably coincided with them actually needing stiff doing so I would be very angry indeed. I would be expecting the dinner cooked whilst I got to watch Disney shit on tv

Thought I would add this as well my children never woke up on Christmas Day early until last year when they where 14 and 15 and even then it was normal wake up time of 7. If her husband couldn't wake her he should have dealt with their shit until she did wake up or sent them into her with instruction they can't open their presents until mum is up, this is the method I employed and my DH would sleep until bedtime if he could.

Sounds like he was trying to be kind

I know my DW and would never do this. She would be so angry!

@Parky04

I know my DW and would never do this. She would be so angry!

I would be absolutely fine if my DH had done this .Perhaps the problem is the DH does not know his wife very well rather than anything else.

It's possible that the OP's husband has made a deliberate well intentioned mistake. But honestly, it's not the most likely.

The most likely is that he either didn't give enough of a shit to actually consider her feelings and just did what felt best for himself in the moment.

Absolutely this.

He has the emotional intelligence of an infant, not to think "Hmmm, there's someone missing here, kids, oh yes it's your mother". Instead it's just let's get on with the fun! What a complete idiot.