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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Opened stockings without me.

192 replies

HepLaurenceLB · 25/12/2020 08:42

I have 3 boys under 5. I spend weeks planning their Xmas presents and stocking fillers. He went downstairs with the boys and opened all of the stockings without me.

He did nothing. Did not buy a single present or organise anything but he got to watch all 3 open their stockings. He said he thought it would be a treat for me to lie in ( until 7.30am) instead of watching. First lie in that he has ever given me. I am so pissed off.
I will suck it up and be jolly but he genuinely will not concede that he has been inconsiderate.

OP posts:
Helmetbymidnight · 25/12/2020 09:02

why good? she missed out on one of the loveliest bits of xmas- after all her hard work...

lilylongjohn · 25/12/2020 09:03

Thoughtless twat at best, thick twat for not realising you'd want to see it, selfish twat for not helping prior to Christmas and a twat for doing it. I'd be bloody furious with him and he'd get a right royal bollocking when the kids are in bed

sparticuscaticus · 25/12/2020 09:03

It was inconsiderate. He didn't think it through. Tell him rule is no opening stockings nor any gifts without you there and that he makes breakfast not opens presents next year.

Also put him in charge of stockings panda his share of present buying next year (tor his side so that it doesn't impact on you if he messes up)

Now forget about it as it is done and you've all Xmas day to enjoy ! You'll reap pleasure of rest of wonderful day of you don't hold onto any anger

FuckOffDailyFailure · 25/12/2020 09:04

Oh no!

I see why you're annoyed. BUT, I think it seems as if he was trying to do a nice thing for you, but just got it wrong.

Quartz2208 · 25/12/2020 09:05

Did he deliberately do it - why offer to do the sleeping with them and then go downstairs - it sounds planned

BubblyBarbara · 25/12/2020 09:05

What a vile man. A misogynistic act. I would be seriously considering your future with someone who so passively aggressively diminished your role here. Does he have a track record for putting himself before you? I hate men like this!

Burnthurst187 · 25/12/2020 09:08

He probably just didn't think, trying to control three excited under fives wanting to open presents can't be easy. Don't think calling him a c&nt is appropriate

Thegrinchshorriblesister · 25/12/2020 09:09

There stocking fillers. You were awake for the main event. You had a lie in and a good sleep. Do t let it spoil your day

Helmetbymidnight · 25/12/2020 09:10

why didnt he say: 'we're going to open the stockings now, do you want to have a lie-in instead?'?
why because he knew she's say no, most parents would say no- they want to see their kids' enjoyment- especially if they'd organised it all.

Jenala · 25/12/2020 09:10

Bastard. It's watching them open it that makes all the planning etc so worth it. I'd be so fucked off.

Nooz · 25/12/2020 09:10

You missed their stockings and there is nothing you can do now

You will miss the next lovely moment because you're in a piss

Now that would be your fault.
And loss for the little ones.

DaffodilSmile

MamaPip · 25/12/2020 09:11

Oh no I would be devastated. It’s hard work getting all the bits together but the only reason you do it is to see the look on their little faces it’s once a year how the hell he would think today is the one day a year you would want to sleep in is madness if he had half a brain he would know how nasty that was . So sorry you missed out on it. I would find it very difficult to forgive that. Super angry on your behalf !

OhamIreally · 25/12/2020 09:14

I think it's really horrible. You did all the hard work and he got all the reward.
My ex did something similar- I used to buy and wrap for his family (I know, I know), one year I nipped to the loo and he handed out all the gifts magnanimously as if they were all from him. It's hurtful.
You will be made to feel petty when you complain though.
As PP said- new rule is that stockings get opened on parents' bed from now on.

Belladonna12 · 25/12/2020 09:15

My DC have always open stockings by themselves. I thought that was what they were for (i.e. to keep them quiet in the morning while I sleep). Perhaps your DH thought that too.

Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 25/12/2020 09:15

Depends why he did it. Was he trying to be nice and let you have a lie in or was he deliberately excluding you?

Stockings have always been for the kids to open in their rooms here to give us a bit more time in bed.

PoppyOppy · 25/12/2020 09:18

Stockings were always to give parents a bit of time alone and the children something to open when they woke up Confused

Main presents later in the day.

TimeToCloseTheDoor · 25/12/2020 09:19

I can’t see what he did wrong. You slept through (your own words) Christmas morning for 3 under 5.

We always do stockings on our bed so we can wake up properly with a cup of tea and kids unwrapping. Mine are now 18, 16 and 12.

Enjoy your day with your family.

Viviennemary · 25/12/2020 09:20

That was mean. You are right to be furious.

alltheadrenalin · 25/12/2020 09:20

I'm on fence, maybe it was a genuine nice thing to do, letting you sleep in? Or a very mean spirited passive aggressive thing to do? Which seems the most likely

Thomasina79 · 25/12/2020 09:20

That’s horrid. This time at Christmas is very lovely when the children are tiny and watching them open their toys is very special, a time you never get back. When they are older Christmas is not the same, though is nice in its way.

I think your husband sounds very spiteful.

Original poster
HepLaurenceLB · 25/12/2020 09:21

They have more presents to open later and the advice to be less cross and enjoy that bit is really useful. I am just so pissed of fact with him.

OP posts:
MsSquiz · 25/12/2020 09:21

They have 3 under 5, this is not their first Christmas for him not to understand that their mum would like to be there when they open their gifts.

In their house, the stockings are clearly not opened by the children in their room before parents are woken up!

I'm with you, OP, I'd be gutted if DH did that to me. Especially after being the one who put all the effort into choosing and wrapping the gifts. It's not about who takes the credit, it's about seeing their faces when they open gifts you hoped they'd love, and they do

cornwallcorn · 25/12/2020 09:21

I think it depends on what he is usually like.

If he is usually quite thoughtful then he was probably genuinely trying to give you a lie-in and thought you’d prefer that.

If not, then he’s just been trying to keep them quiet and hasn’t given a thought to you.

Sorry OP, it’s got the day off to a rotten start for you.

cactusisblooming · 25/12/2020 09:25

Surely the dc think that Santa has brought them their stockings, so won't be "crediting" your husband?

PrtScn · 25/12/2020 09:25

@Belladonna12

My DC have always open stockings by themselves. I thought that was what they were for (i.e. to keep them quiet in the morning while I sleep). Perhaps your DH thought that too.
Same when I was younger. My mum would sneak in our room at night and put stockings at the end of our bed for us to open in the morning while they had a lie in!
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