Mil standing at window

[Spied]

Just received a text from mil telling me herself and fil would be visiting in the morning to stand at the window and watch the dc open their presents (of which none are from them as they don't do gifts. They put money in an envelope).
Would it be unreasonable to keep the blinds shut and ignore any door knocking?

@saraclara

If your kids were likely to get up at 6:15 on Christmas day, why on earth didn't one of you tell the in laws that that would likely be the case? That would have solved the whole problem in the first place, surely. They'd just have said 'ah in that case, no we won't be round then'.

Or did you enjoy the fact that you could mess with them? Because you both knew they weren't likely to be awake and ready to go out at at 6:15, didn't you?
Great bit of passive aggressiveness, instead of just communicating properly in the first place.

I imagine it's quite likely that OP/her DH would have been told to please make the kids wait until later to open their gifts, if they had warned the GPs about the early waking time. I can also imagine the hellish subsequent 2 hours of trying to persuade mutinous howling children that they didn't mind this delay one bit. In my house it would be accompanied by much passive aggressiveness from me to DH and his DPs, brought on by epic levels of resentment at the stupidity and selfishness of the situation.

Therefore to me it seems perfectly reasonable that OP and her DH just took the GPs at their word

Hope you had a nice day OP.

Everyone else...I think you’re a tad over invested in this! Go have a mince pie and a G&T

I imagine it's quite likely that OP/her DH would have been told to please make the kids wait until later to open their gifts, if they had warned the GPs about the early waking time.

At which point OP/DH would say "No, sorry. This is what we do"

Like I say, communication.

You need to add an extra L to PIL and call them the “Pills”

*If your kids were likely to get up at 6:15 on Christmas day, why on earth didn't one of you tell the in laws that that would likely be the case? That would have solved the whole problem in the first place, surely. They'd just have said 'ah in that case, no we won't be round then'.

Or did you enjoy the fact that you could mess with them? Because you both knew they weren't likely to be awake and ready to go out at at 6:15, didn't you?
Great bit of passive aggressiveness, instead of just communicating properly in the first place.*

Exactly this.

It’s funny because people like the OP would exactly become the type of mother in laws who do actually do these things to wind other people up. I actually see THAT as manipulative..

Other than a simple “oh MIL, I do warn you though the kids will be up very early and so unless you want to come at 7, I don’t think this is what you want on a cold Christmas Day”.

Honestly.. some people are so pathetically useless at talking because they’re too busy playing mind games

Oh ffs, who can tell with preteens? Mine are just as likely to sleep until 11:00 and then MIL would have been on the doorstep twisting her tissues and complaining of the cold then as well. MIL wasn’t interested in the kids. She didn’t say Happy Christmas to anyone or even feign interest or excitement in the kid’s toys. It was all about her and what SHE wanted.

Kids wake up early on Christmas day, who knew!

Your poor inlaws

They sound like really strange, unemotional people. Did they just want the cute photos to show their friends?

Your poor inlaws

Poor nothing. Selfish idiots got pandered to and still whined about it.
WTF wi wrong with those of you defending the PIL's?

*Exactly this.

It’s funny because people like the OP would exactly become the type of mother in laws who do actually do these things to wind other people up. I actually see THAT as manipulative..

Other than a simple “oh MIL, I do warn you though the kids will be up very early and so unless you want to come at 7, I don’t think this is what you want on a cold Christmas Day”.

Honestly.. some people are so pathetically useless at talking because they’re too busy playing mind games*

If said grandparents were involved in their grandchildren’s lives, they would know this already. My in-laws know what time our children go to sleep and wake up because DH talks to them twice a week. My own parents know this because they video chat with us every week. These grandparents don’t sound involved at all.

Also, why is it all on OP to do the informing when their son could have done so as well. Why are you trying to paint her as controlling as if her husband, their son doesn’t have a voice? They did what the grandparents wanted despite grandparents dictating and still grandparents moaned and ignored said grandchildren. You still have yet to find a decent reason for that without putting all the blame on OP when her husband was right there.

Why on earth didn't these inlaws suggest
They can't even be bothered to arrange a proper visit ie at a pre arranged time. They're so self important - dealings with this type invariably involve being hurt and disappointed. You behaved sensibly.

Why are you trying to paint her as controlling as if her husband, their son doesn’t have a voice?

OP doesn't sound controlling. Just passive aggressive and into petty little games. This is just a post and thread to diss her MIL that she can re-read and hold gleefully to herself whilst smiling in MIL face and not really standing up to her in real life.

If you read it all back it all sounds childish.

Can't work out whether the H is pathetic with no voice, or can't be asked with the games. A mix of both, probably.

MN has to be a big part of MIL's from hell and MIL's from hell-to-be training.

Then it's over to Gransnet to complain they they're being swerved.

@DeeCeeCherry

I did reread the OPs posts and I don't find her passive aggressive or into petty games at all. I think she has a relationship with her pils that is born of her experiences with them, something we don't know the intricate details of. The absolute arrogance of your all knowing, all seeing, depictive overview of someone you don't even know is simply astonishing. I found the OP to be fine.

Kalula, totally agree with everything you said.

I'm sure op started this as a slightly jokey thread anyway, light hearted.

Op my in laws once desperately tried to stop us doing FC for the children, said its not good parents don't get a lie in etc, so we would do Xmas eve instead for Mil. European! They never did fc.

• a huge issue for people is not being asked.

We would love to see the gc at some point in the day, when would be the best time, we appreciate it maybe odd to stand at the window but it would mean a lot too us.

Cue a two way dialogue!

It's always the '' tellers ' the announcers... (' who never ask that cause problems.

The absolute arrogance of your all knowing, all seeing, depictive overview of someone you don't even know is simply astonishing.

Does that not apply to the mother in law??? Or is the curtesy extended to only dil?

As far as we know, the OP had spoken of her negative resentful mocking superior thoughts of her MIL.. the MILs fault however is how she phrased her request to see her grandkids..

Yet OP has entertained a long thread vilifying her mother in law and overthinking every tiny thing she has done, so the same standards apply to OP.. and it’s totally justified

@SisterlyCare

I would respond but I have no idea what you're going on about. The OP is talking about a person she actually knows so what you're saying makes no sense.

Thanks for all the replies.
I'm relieved some of you can see my point and don't see me as some horrible ogre.
Well, now Christmas 2020 is over I can but see what 2021 brings and maybe I'll be able to invite them over next Christmas
Thank you. You've kept me sane.
SisterlyCare I'm loving your name. Very apt