To teach her the "correct" name for it?

[notyourmummy]

My in-laws were shocked today to overhear my 3yo saying she was just wiping her vulva after she'd been for a wee. They think it's wrong for her to call it that and she should use a more "child friendly" word (tuppence was grandma's suggestion). Now my husband has said that he actually agrees with them and he doesn't think it sounds right her saying vulva.
Background info, I'm a survivor of childhood abuse and, although it wouldn't have made any difference what I'd called anyone's genitals, I think that's had an impact on me wanting my children to know and use the right words for them.
So, YABU - she should use a more "child friendly" word.
YANBU - it's good for her to use the correct name.

*home

Il let you off

That comment was for you @Kaliorphic. I'm not doing well today.

I think vagina or vulva is fine. Penis and testicles for boys. We need to get rid of this shame associated with our genitals and the only way is to power through even if it makes us uncomfortable. Like not letting your kids see you're afraid of spiders.

In that situation I would have replied that she didn't need to give details "nearly" would have been fine.

I'm with you @notyourmummy 100%

Tuppence!

FuFu!

Child abusers use silly names as well.

Use a biological term if you want to. How can a vulva be worse than a tuppence... I mean they are a bit thick aren't they! Well done you

That comment was for you @Kaliorphic. I'm not doing well today.

😂

This

It’s utterly, utterly bizarre how people find an anatomically correct word used by a child weird/inappropriate/cringey.

Indeed - why are people so ashamed of their vulva's? A penis is a penis - men aren't ashamed - how on earth can a vulva be embarrassing!

We use both names. When talking generally, I will go "have you wiped your lady" but when talking about it solely, we will call it a vagina. I really dislike the word vulva.

I don't understand the dislike of the word 'vulva'. If I had a daughter I would teach her about the vulva and that her vagina is the hole in the middle - but I have a minge and that's the end of it.

@jessstan1

I don't understand the dislike of the word 'vulva'. If I had a daughter I would teach her about the vulva and that her vagina is the hole in the middle - but I have a minge and that's the end of it.

I am floored

Dd7 knows the correct terminology for body parts, and has done for years. She chooses to call her vulva, her 'pee pee'. And thats fine with me. Her choice. 🤷‍♀️

@Soubriquet but it’s not used everywhere (note my username ).

The real life example used when I did safeguarding training was “Granddad put his tissue in my pocket.”

Genuine question to the people who use correct terminology, do you teach your children about their clit? And Bellend? (Is that the eight word) I know the clit is part of the vulva just really curious how much detail you go into!

right word ^

@Thefaceofboe

Genuine question to the people who use correct terminology, do you teach your children about their clit? And Bellend? (Is that the eight word) I know the clit is part of the vulva just really curious how much detail you go into!

Clitoris hasn't come up yet, but they know the whole thing is a vulva and there's a vagina and a wee hole and what they are for. If DD asked about her clitoris of course I'd tell her.

I leave boy bits to DH really as he knows more than me but they know various parts like the testicles/scrotum and foreskin.

The pearl clutching on this thread is so tiresome.

Women need to own their genitalia from a young age instead of it being something that is spoken about in euphemism, twee names or shameful alternatives like “bits”.

It’s more than something shameful except when a penis wants to penetrate it and telling kids the right names is right. Otherwise it’s that which shouldn’t be spoken about.

We have vulvas, vaginas and penises in this house.

There's nothing shameful about vulva, it's just an ugly word. Vagina is much more regal. Vulva puts me in mind of vulture, Volvo, reVULsion etc. All ugly words about ugly things.

Vulva all the way in this house - why make naming our body parts shameful or embarrassing? Who does that help? My mum called it “front bottom” which is just weird.

DD asked years ago (age 7/8 maybe) what her clitoris was, so I told her in age appropriate terms.

There are people (not me) pushing for women/men to be called (amongst other terms) “vagina owners” and “people with a penis” etc - at least my DDs will know which applies to them! But one thing that makes me sure it will never catch on is people’s reluctance to say these words out loud.

Vagina is much more regal

Not when you realise it’s translated from the Latin for “sword sheath”...

😂😂😂
Totally agree both. I would have pissed myself laughing if my kids had come out with vulva at that age. In fact, unless it’s a gynaecologist I don’t want to hear that word, it’s hideous.

She should be calling it her fanjo,don't you know?! Seriously though,the word tuppence used in that respect makes me cringe!

@BakedTattie

The whole ‘anatomically correct’ is weird. We don’t call every single part of our body by the technically correct term.

Let kids be kids I say

How does saying her wee comes from her vulva instead of her fairy ruin her childhood? It's just a word.

Genuine question as I don't really know much about this, how does naming something the correct name help with safeguarding?

Wouldn't a child just point to the area? Or if the mum say knows what the 'cutesy' name represents, that will solve the problem.

Like I say genuine question. I'm not at that stage yet with my toddler but will be helpful to know this before teaching him the words.

@AlbusSeverusMalfoy

Why does she need to announce it though? Well done you for teaching her the correct words. But why couldn't she say, 'I'm just wiping' or 'I'm having a wee' or would you prefer 'mother, one is just wiping their vulva after urinating'

Because she's 3 and she's probably very pleased with herself for doing it all alone !