What would you love to say to your ex?

[Ostryga]

I’ll start - I’m kind of grateful.

I’d never experienced emotional abuse before you, and now I know exactly what it can do to me in such a short space of time. And I’ll never allow myself to ever feel like that again.

Thanks for making me fight for myself. I know how fucking immensely strong I actually am.

I still love you.

I know you are still feeling bad that I ended things but you treated me so badly. I tried so hard to show you what it's like to be in a family and you pretended to listen but you didn't really. You absolutely wore me out, you were jealous of my son and you drink far too much. Your behaviour destroyed every spark & shred of love I ever had for you. I am grateful to have my life back.

It's been nearly 6 months now so stop getting in touch & let it go. I'm not responsible for your happiness and I'm ignoring you on purpose. I've moved on. Just do the same now.

That you gave up a wife who loved you no matter what, three amazing kids and stability for the sake of a whore who opens her legs for everyone. She also bullied me, manipulated me and made my life hell. Your family hates her, your kids hate her. Was she honestly worth it?

I'm sorry.

I was wrong, selfish and never treated you as I should.

With hind-sight, I can see that I did truly love you, but did not know what real love was (as opposed to infatuation, which is what it seemed like at the time).

Missed opportunities, and too much hurt, caused by me.

Though I miss you, I am pleased you are married with kids, and seemingly happy.

I wish I'd never married you. I was young and stupid and thought no one else would want me.

I wish I'd left you earlier but if I had I might not have met dp and had a wonderful dd and another on the way.

You said I spent all my money on booze and fags. That was to cope being with you. Or more to cope being left on my own every evening while you sat on your laptop on "google" everytime I walked past. Funny how i barely drink with new dh.

Same as you op, EA for the sheer fun of it.

So yeah, I'd thank the narc ridden cunt for the education and the life lesson. I'd wish him well but wish him gone.

I'm sorry for the way your life has turned out, you were always looking to be mothered...I know this is because your parents pretty well abandoned you at boarding school all those years ago. Our relationship was not healthy, me being the provider while you were "depressed" or "poorly" or just "unhappy". I tried too hard to keep you "happy" but it was an uphill battle as you were most comfortable when you were "poorly". I was frightened to be on my own when you left but by the time you wanted to return I realised I was relieved you were no longer in my home. My children never liked you but allowed me to make my own choices and they were grateful I decided that you should not return. You went on to marry again but I see that too ended and you are sitting alone in your flat more "poorly" than ever. I have been married to my wonderful husband for 14 years now and my children adore him. I will always wish you well and hope that one day you'll find the help you really need.

@Frenchiethesnowman

I love you and I wish we tried harder. You are a great dad & our kids are lucky to have you.

Ditto.

Thanks for having an emotional affair with our mutual friend and moving in with her the day we broke up. No seriously, thanks! I don’t think I’ve ever been as overjoyed as the day I realised your whiny, grumpy, useless cocklodger arse was someone else’s problem. The poor cow. 😂 I met my soulmate 5 months later and he’s everything I could’ve dreamed of in a husband.

In reality I'd never give them the satisfaction but in my mind:

Ex1 - No woman is supposed to take on the role of your mum/secretary/nanny etc. You partner is an actual person, not someone you can play resentful teen against. Oh and what you did in the last few years we were together, is now called coercive control and it's a crime. I hope for your partner's sake that you have changed, as she doesn't deserve what you did to me.

Ex 2 - I just want you to disappear out of my life. No, we don't have any strong emotional ties, and my dc don't want any contact with you. You like to think of yourself as a nice person, but the police have been trying to get me to press charges against you, and I've only said no, because I want you out of my life. I do wish you well in your new job, as that means you'll pootle off into the sunset and no longer be here. And no, I don't believe that your ExW was the abuser. So do fuck off.

You ruined whatever good memories I had of our time together by your awful, psychotic behaviour when ending it. I know the woman you cheated on me with and if youre still with her and using her for casual hook ups, keeping her secret and not allowing her to talk about it because youre embarrassed is a waste of time because no-one decent would have anything to do with you because of the way you behave.

Just how does someone go from being that hot young graduate athlete that everyone fancies to an ageing unemployed man with a sleazy reputation? If I'd known what you were really like, I'd never have gone near you.

I, most definitely won.

You weren't worth my time or effort, but I appreciate the genetic material, which has yielded a surprisingly good result.

You’re a knobhead, just fuck off.

I couldn't see a future with you because you were a crap dad. I wasn't with you long enough to be as truthful but, it really put me off. Your daughter (who I had never met as I had only been with you a few short months) deserves so much better. Buck up your ideas, grow up and play an active part in her life before it's too late!

Your lack of relationship with DS is your own doing. You ignored him for 15 years and now he isn’t interested. Stop bleating about parental alienation and accept the consequences of your own actions.

And no, I am not going to discipline DS for telling you to fuck off. I made him a huge hot chocolate with marshmallows and gave him a big cuddle after he told you to fuck off. You know, because my child is in emotional pain.

Did you finally manage to find a woman willing to do everything "just like your mum did" or did you just go back to mum?

I still feel guilty that my leaving hurt you so badly but it was the right thing to do. You were dragging me down and I was enabling you to wallow in depression without doing anything to help yourself. I can see from fb you seem to be doing better these days and I hope you actually achieve the life you want. I wish we could have stayed friends but I understand why you needed to cut contact with me.

Why? I’m not even angry any more, I’d just like to know why. 😩

No, you’re not a ‘good guy’. Good guys don’t cheat, for years, and they don’t walk out on their pregnant wives at the point it becomes blatantly clear that the business is failing because they’ve been spending their afternoons shagging the bookkeeper. Nor do good guys spend the next 12 years avoiding paying a penny of maintenance.

You thought I would commit suicide, I think. I think you can’t understand how anybody could possibly function without you in their lives, and I really think you don’t understand how I am clearly thriving without you with a lovely home, new car on the driveway and kids who want to be with me rather than you and your latest girlfriend you introduce after 3 days. It’s pretty obvious you weren’t running from me, you were running from yourself. Sadly, 12 years later, you are still blaming me for your u happiness. Grow up.

You ruined every Christmas for me for ten years with your drinking, chaos and abuse. These past three Christmases I am giddy with relief that I don't have to see you or spend it with you.

Oh and it makes me even happier that no one believes the lies you told when we split. You turned everyone against me with the most disgusting, vicious lies. You blackened my character to anyone who would listen. Some of the lies you even repeated back to me self righteously having said them so many times that you actually came to believe them yourself! Well over the years since, you haven't been able to hide the real you and gradually all those people have edged back towards me and tried to make up for it - even members of your own family.

The best thing I ever did was have children with you because they're the best thing I ever did in my life. The second best thing was getting you out.

I pity you.

Ex 1: thank you. Really. Thank you for showing me what a relationship isn't. I'm just sorry it took me six year of financial and emotional abuse from you, as well as coercive controlling behaviour, intermingled with drug dealing to find that out. It also showed me how strong I am and that getting mixed up in the crap wasn't for me.

Ex 2: firstly hitting girls who are half your weight and height shows what an absolute shit you were. But then you were only a four month rebound from the previous six year one, so you were never worth much anyway. Refusing to accept no for an answer just makes you the purest scum of the earth. However once again thank you because if it wasn't for you and Paul, I would never have valued DH as much as I do, because he is a real man. He has never hurt me, emotionally, financially or physically. And he has always, always respected that no is a full sentence. He waited a year without sex while I worked through the issues you two gave me, just to prove I could trust him.

I generally hope you two die alone and unhappy. Purely because of the amount of trauma you put me through, while acting like it was all my fault. Luckily I'm better than you, and I know it wasn't me.

1st - I'm not the crazy one. I know you were sleeping with your ex all throughout our relationship of 5 years. Our son is much better off without an emotionally and physically abusive Dad in his life.

2nd - Treating your partner the way you treated me is not the way to go. Just be honest, no one is going to care that you are bisexual