Page 7 | DH can’t be arsed to sit at table for Christmas dinner

Thinkingg · 24/12/2020 09:07

Nothing wrong with eating dinner on the sofa if you don't have a dining table. Or even if it's just what the whole household would prefer.

But it's incredibly antisocial to take the xmas dinner your DP cooked, and eat it in front of the telly, away from the rest of the family. Either he is a dick, or he has depression. What's he like the rest of the time OP?

Serin · 24/12/2020 09:08

He has checked out of family life and sounds like a right miserable bastard.

We have a family member who will eat Christmas dinner half way up the stairs (as always) but he has autism and can't face being in a noisy room.

Camphillgirl · 24/12/2020 09:12

@Shitfuckoh

Well if he was in my house and refused to sit at the table for the Christmas meal we were eating as a family, I would seriously be thinking whether I wanted him as family, never mind at the family meal.

This....get rid

sammyjoanne · 24/12/2020 09:18

Ive had similar issues. Basically my kitchen table became my office, so he was like 'oh we might as well have dinner in the front room in front of the tv'....... So ive got all my gear, my two monitors, keyboard etc and shifted the lot. And bought a load of stuff for the table such as christmas table cloth crackers etc, so he has no excuse lol.
And yeah, hes all government, covid, blah blah blah, I have enough information from the news, let alone anyone else talking about it on top. So DD has a christmas playlist on spotify playing instead to try and distract from all of that covid chat.

Covidrelapse · 24/12/2020 09:24

Ew. We sit at the table for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Occasionally (and it feels like a special occasion) we have pizza on the sofa watching a film.

MrsBobDylan · 24/12/2020 09:39

I make my kids sit at the dining table. One dc is autistic and for a few years sat on top of the tumble dryer to eat his food and I figured that at least it wasn't the sofa. In the end I moved the tumble dryer next to the dining table and then we reconfigured the kitchen/diner and he gave in and now sits at the table. It only took 8 years 😂

planningaheadtoday · 24/12/2020 10:16

I had this decades ago. As usual I'd done Christmas, decorated, shopped, wrapped, prepared, cooked and served. All whilst feeding a baby.

It was a small one that year, me, my husband, his mum, our toddler and our baby.

He sat in the lounge all day and refused to be called to the table for Christmas dinner. I ate at the dining table with his mum, who was so lovely and kept apologising for him.

After calling him a few times, I gave him 45 minutes then put the whole lot down the waste disposal.

I was furious. He was mad with me as he'd assumed he would microwave his dinner when he felt like it.

I wouldn't have minded him not eating but he should have made at least an effort to say Happy Christmas and be at the table for at least part of the meal.

It was so rude.

thepeopleversuswork · 24/12/2020 10:17

@nannybeach

I see everyone on here, will have the linen napkins out with the silver napkin rings, maybe he's fed up with the covid thing, the depressing news and cannot be arsed with Christmas.Everyone on here has perfect Husbands, who do half the shopping and food prep. Oh, well, you will have to divorce him then

I don't see anyone having a "perfect" husband on here I just see some people who expect behaviour better than a Neanderthal.

If you don't then that's not our problem.

Norwester · 24/12/2020 10:21

@OhamIreally says it all - it's 1/5 of grounds for divorce. Reckon you won't struggle to find another 4.

LadyPenelope68 · 24/12/2020 10:25

@MonkeyPuddle
The rule in our house, for all main meals, is you sit at the table or you go hungry. Kids and adults alike.
Same rule in our house, unless it’s certain nights like tonight when we have a buffet of party type food and eat it while watching a film.

InFiveMins · 24/12/2020 10:28

I am clearly in the minority here as I just think fuck it, if he wants to eat in front of the TV let him! I don't think it's that bad. I wouldn't do it personally, nor would my DP, but I would leave him to it!

longwayoff · 24/12/2020 10:31

He sounds delightful. Why are you putting up with this dolt? A tray on his lap? And you think you're rude to complain? Please. Man's an utter tit.

mrswhiplington · 24/12/2020 10:32

Even Jim Royle sat at the table for Christmas dinner. He wore a paper hat and everything. Love that episode.

Grittlelayrabbit · 24/12/2020 10:35

If you go to a restaurant what does he do then?

coldwaterfeed · 24/12/2020 10:35

@InFiveMins

I am clearly in the minority here as I just think fuck it, if he wants to eat in front of the TV let him! I don't think it's that bad. I wouldn't do it personally, nor would my DP, but I would leave him to it!

You don't think it's that bad because it doesn't affect you and your own DH doesn't do it. It seems a very selfish view to me.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 24/12/2020 10:39

If he isnt going to sit at the table, dont cook a Christmas Dinner for him.

Call his bluff & say ok you do what you want. If he refuses to get up either give him nothing & make sure there's no leftovers or give him the most awful poor quality microwave tv dinner. In plastic tray and all.

Then LTB

thepeopleversuswork · 24/12/2020 10:41

@InFiveMins

I am clearly in the minority here as I just think fuck it, if he wants to eat in front of the TV let him! I don't think it's that bad. I wouldn't do it personally, nor would my DP, but I would leave him to it!

Urgh .What is the point of being married to someone who has no interest in spending any time with his family?

I'm all for live and let live but I genuinely can't see the point of sharing a life with someone who is so determined to avoid being with their family that they want a special carve-out from it on Christmas Day. I can't understand they mental gymnastics required to convince yourself that its OK to be married to someone who has contempt for you.

nannybeach · 24/12/2020 10:43

We don't all have room for a dining table, I shall be eating my lunch on the floor of the cave then as before, we are entitled to our opinions,expect "better behavior" is he one of the kids

Royalbloo · 24/12/2020 10:47

I'd put everything on the table and ignore. If he wants to be a knob and get a plate full of food and then fuck off then I'd let him. And file for divorce in the NY. What a twat - I'd just have a nice time without him and pretend he wasn't there.

Scottishskifun · 24/12/2020 10:52

We are sitting at the table and 2 adults and a toddler!

If he wishes to act like a child then simply don't dish him up a plate, put all the food onto the table in bowls. If he wants some then he can sit at the table like a civilised person otherwise he can make himself a sandwich and watch the TV!

ketosavedmylife · 24/12/2020 10:53

@Brawsome

Too much to expect? Five of us this year so fewer than usual. I’ve done all the shopping and will do the cooking. But he just wants his usual tray in front of the tv and has little interest in joining the family at the table and contributing to the chat. I’m beyond frustrated and just can’t face another argument. It seems very rude to me, but are my expectations too high? Ironically, if he does join us the convo will mostly be about why all the governments (UK) are wrong about Covid, so perhaps we are better off pulling our crackers without him. Anyone else dealing with similar?

Lay a place setting for him and carry on celebrating with everyone else. He will hear the chat and laughter and may swallow his pride and join you. Or not, his choice.

I've just set our table up with best plates and cutlery (only used at Christmas ) and will be welcoming my DD and DS for a very special Christmas lunch tomorrow - they are driving 3.5 hours to spend a few precious hours with us then driving home again. I am just SO grateful to be seeing them at all.

My mum I won't be seeing but we intend to have a special Christmas celebration at some point in the future with her, once this insanity is past.

Merry Christmas to everyone in the mumsnet fam .

Scottishskifun · 24/12/2020 10:54

@nannybeach

We don't all have room for a dining table, I shall be eating my lunch on the floor of the cave then as before, we are entitled to our opinions,expect "better behavior" is he one of the kids

There is a difference between no table option and refusing for the sake of it

MintyMabel · 24/12/2020 11:03

I had this decades ago. As usual I'd done Christmas, decorated, shopped, wrapped, prepared, cooked and served. All whilst feeding a baby.

Tell me the end of this story is “we divorced soon after”

Northernstar1245 · 24/12/2020 11:12

No sorry - eating on the sofa isn’t an enjoying or relaxing experience here due to our dog

AlwaysLatte · 24/12/2020 11:18

You do all the cooking and then he expects it on a tray in front of the tv??
I know where I would put that tray.