DH can’t be arsed to sit at table for Christmas dinner

[Brawsome]

Too much to expect? Five of us this year so fewer than usual. I’ve done all the shopping and will do the cooking. But he just wants his usual tray in front of the tv and has little interest in joining the family at the table and contributing to the chat. I’m beyond frustrated and just can’t face another argument. It seems very rude to me, but are my expectations too high? Ironically, if he does join us the convo will mostly be about why all the governments (UK) are wrong about Covid, so perhaps we are better off pulling our crackers without him. Anyone else dealing with similar?

I'd tell him he's more than welcome to eat his dinner in front of the telly. But he will not be welcome to eat anything I had cooked for the rest of us having Christmas dinner. He can cook himself a sad little dinner of his own, to eat on his own, on his lap, in the living room on front of the telly. He is opting out of Christmas day so fuck him.

I wouldnt cook him any fucking thing. And tell him if he wants to spend christmas in front of the tv he can go and f off.

This sounds like a man who does this more often. He checked out of this family. So should you. He brings nothing to the table.. quite literally even

That’s incredibly rude of him. He wouldn’t be getting dinner from me!

Jesus. I cannot even imagine that.

Was he always like this?

I could not live with someone like that. It would be like being his housekeeper or something.

Seriously? I would give him the choice: you can either sit at the table, not mention Covid, pull crackers, be sociable and pretend to be jolly, OR you can die trying. Those are the options.

Well that’s pretty unanimous, much appreciated. Sometimes you just lose track of what is normal and polite. Will have a chat tomorrow about expectations - Christmas Day and beyond. Looking forward to polishing the cutlery.

Sod that how rude. When I met Dh I knew straight away he was a football fanatic, his mum used to dish up Sunday lunch with the football on.

Not. A.Chance. I'm happy to compromise so we're not eating when his team are on but there is no way I'm cooking for him to look at the tv. Ditto Christmas dinner.

Oh dear. Sounds like he’s completely disinterested in his family. It’s very sad and I wouldn’t put up with it.

Just no, if he won’t sit at the table he gets no Christmas dinner

What an arse, this is the kind of shit behaviour that would push me over the edge - this must be what he’s like all the time & what he thinks is acceptable? I’d be seriously considering this being a tipping point tbh

I can’t understand how you found this thicko so appealing that you allowed him to repeatedly impregnate you. Why? Was he always so openly disinterested in you and the people he bred? Have better standards in future, this is a gross example to inflict on kids for what a ‘relationship’ is.

You are being V V unreasonable. To yourself. Get him a lovely 99p frozen roast dinner. He can eat that in front of the TV.
You have the lovely stuff. At the table ....

DH and I don’t have children and It is quite rare that we eat at the table although we do sometimes, I think we would regularly if we had had children.

But I cannot imagine having Christmas lunch on our laps in front of the TV. I would be angry and hurt if DH said that is what he is doing, thankfully he wouldn’t want to do that either. We will have both put a lot of effort into Christmas lunch and will want to have a bit more “ceremony” than normal whilst we eat it.

This is really poor behaviour. So rude - seems as though he doesn’t enjoy an important part of family life. Also, serious question here - why are people allowing their DC to eat away from the table on a regular basis? I think that eating at a table, politely, is a really important life skill, to be taught as early as possible.

Bloody hell. I've never heard of such a thing. What a bore and a cave dweller he is.

No way on earth would I serve dinner to a man who was too uncouth and disrespectful to come to the table. Any night of the week, let alone Christmas.
Although if he's incapable of conversation - why stay with him?

No. He doesn’t get to choose which bits of Christmas Day he opts out of. He’s either completely in or he’s completely out. If he can’t be bothered to even sit at the table and be gracious then he doesn’t get to benefit from all the effort you’ve put in to the day, which includes both dinner and presents.

I wouldn’t be making his portion because I would already have divorced him by now

@Rodders92

Sounds like Jim Royle

Genius

Hmmm, I’d be inclined to leave the miserable fucker to it. Then after dinner we’d dress up as Christmas crackers and dance round shouting “BANG! Ho fucking ho!” whilst chucking left over Brussels sprouts at him.

YANBU. I wouldn’t be cooking for him

He sounds like he’s stuck in the *9’s wanting his meal in front of the tv every night. If he’s complaining about joining family on Christmas Day, I would really be thinking about what he brought to the relationship.

The only thing that this covidiot deadbeat should ever be served is divorce papers. Nothing to do with a table, but the fact that he couldn’t give a shit about you, and doesn’t try to hide it. Don’t accept substandard males just for the sake of having some cock.

Your expectations of your DH sound very low. Lower than low. Tell him to grow up.

He wouldn’t get a choice with me, it’s eat with everyone else or fuck off. Christmas Day and we sit together, eat together, nobody is sitting with a tray in front of the tv, wtf?! When it’s ready, you call him to table, don’t pander to his tray in front of the tv bollocks. How rude!

It is such a shame, because relaxing round the table and enjoying the food, the company, should be such a such a pleasure. No idea why he thinks his way is better. Makes dining out a bit shit too.