DH can’t be arsed to sit at table for Christmas dinner

[Brawsome]

Too much to expect? Five of us this year so fewer than usual. I’ve done all the shopping and will do the cooking. But he just wants his usual tray in front of the tv and has little interest in joining the family at the table and contributing to the chat. I’m beyond frustrated and just can’t face another argument. It seems very rude to me, but are my expectations too high? Ironically, if he does join us the convo will mostly be about why all the governments (UK) are wrong about Covid, so perhaps we are better off pulling our crackers without him. Anyone else dealing with similar?

You actually married him?

‘Makes dining out a bit shit’
You mean ‘makes my kids lives a bit shit’? Surely you don’t think being treated with open disinterest is normal or acceptable. How awful.

High fives @FourDecades :)

You must love him an awful lot to put up with that.

Not a chance. We eat on our laps most nights! But not even my young son, who has zero interest in food that isn’t chips, will eat on his lap on Christmas Day.

Unless your DH is ill, this is crappy behaviour

@Rodders92 Even Jim Royle sat at Denise's table and was really encouraging when it all went tits up.

It's one of my fave episodes.

I miss Caroline Aherne.

Sounds horribly depressing.

Is he happy? Are you happy?

I don't want to make a whole heap of judgements about the rest of your life, but if this is any indication of what your marriage is like, it doesn't sound healthy.

Sounds like he doesn’t really enjoy his life in familial servitude. Set him free! And yourself!

Tell him he is damned rude, lay a place for him at the table and don't give him a tray. Whoever else is there can tell him the same if they are close enough to him.

What hellish childhood did you have that you think this is acceptable behaviour

Is this asking too much? Is your bar set that low now, OP? What an absolute dickhead. He can’t eat a meal with his family at the table because it isn’t exactly what he wants to do? Urgh. I’m angry on your behalf. And you should be too.

God I’ve just seen your update. Does he make going out for a meal a big sulk?

Genuinely question, is this the only thing he’s like this about and you can sort of lump it because everything else is really great?

'Makes eating out a bit shit too'. I can only imagine it does if he insists on fetching his tray and the TV along with him 😅. Does he at least clear the kitchen and wash up after his dinner. Or does he strop off to the bedroom like the antisocial teenager he appears to be?

Never mind Christmas. Why on earth do you put up with this rude, boorish slob the other 364 days??

YANBU. Even my disabled elderly husband, who finds sitting up to the table painful now, is insisting that if I'm cooking for him, the least he can do is make the effort and sit up to the table.

He needs to step up, he's a dad and supposed to be your life-partner. He also needs to button it and not talk Covid for the next few days, unless he's too dumb to understand that mental health, for your children especially, is so very important!! They need a rest from this bollocks.
Ask one of the children to request his presence for Christmas dinner.

Bigger problems in the world

Let him get on with it and you have yourself a lovely Christmas dinner with whoever's home

He is saying he doesn't actually like your company. Yours and the whole family's.

Not great...

@Rodders92

Sounds like Jim Royle

at least Jim Royale did the dishes 🌺

@Shouldbeworkingnotreadingtalk

You are being V V unreasonable. To yourself. Get him a lovely 99p frozen roast dinner. He can eat that in front of the TV. You have the lovely stuff. At the table ....

This

And leave it frozen!

What a selfish antisocial husband you have. Not something I would ever have to confront DH does most of our cooking

Please OP make it your NY Resolution to have a more equal household, he sounds too selfish for words and doesn't realise how much it takes to prepare and cook a big Christmas lunch.

@81Byerley

YANBU. Even my disabled elderly husband, who finds sitting up to the table painful now, is insisting that if I'm cooking for him, the least he can do is make the effort and sit up to the table.

What a lovely person

PastMyBestBeforeDate

Wow he sounds horrendously rude!!!!

He would get his dinner in front of the TV right over his head, gravy and all, followed very sharply by divorce papers and his suitcasee already packed ( actually black bag packed lol!)

@LEELULUMPKIN

love that episode too.

Caroline Aherne on fancy cooking ......

'Oooo l'm going to make some lovely gravy...Shall I tell you the recipe? You get an Oxo cube, unwrap it, and pour boiling water all over it...'