To think males should be taught not to approach random women in the street?

[Merrybloodychristmas]

Or do you think it's a harmless annoyance?

I've just been walking back from my local shops, wearing headphones, and became a were of a random bloke walking next to me talking to me. I pointed to the headphones and kept walking as if to say "can't hear you, sorry"

He continues walking next to me and gives me the "one minute" gesture so I took off my headphones and asked what the matter was.

He asked where a certain station is and I said I didn't know, sorry.

He then says "ah that's cool, I live there anyway I just wanted an excuse to talk to you"

I'm a nervous person by nature when dealing with unfamiliar men as I've had a handful of bad experiences so I felt really uncomfortable by this point. I told him I'm not going to stop and talk because I have a partner at home and I'm busy.

He then gives me a bit of attitude and says "so what you saying, you can't even talk to somebody"

I walked on but spent the next 5 minutes looking over my shoulder just incase he decided to follow me.

Shouldn't men (when boys) be taught not to do this shit?

I'll try and word this carefully so as not to get into offensive stereotypes but it would be interesting to see how these presumably heterosexual men would feel if approached in the same way by large muscular gay leather men. I've been one of only two straight men at what turned into a gay male sex party and the level of aggression and indirect intimidation was very unsettling ..to feel very vulnerable and experience male sexual aggression first hand was an education and gave me a little insight into what women can experience daily . This was obviously an extreme example but it would be interesting to see these men touched up and commented on by a bunch of more powerful and sexually threatening men ...( and this not to minimise male rape which does happen ) ..but just a thought experiment really ..

@ginandwineandbaileys

There is a man who lives on my street that regularly harasses me. He follows me when I go running, follows me when I drive anywhere, parks outside my house, has befriended my immediate neighbours - probably to sit in their house and watch me coming and going. Another group of workmen working on a house across the road, who make comments when I walk back from the school run. These are the ones that cause me to be most frightened, because they know where I live, and obviously that I'm single because they watch me. That is what makes me a sitting victim, easy prey. I'm sick of always having to be alert to my surroundings at all times

That is definitely extreme and quite serious. Have you tried contacting the Police?

You are right though, mostly I'm annoyed and pissed off. However when it happens really close to home or in my garden/they know where I leave the fear element is quite high.

Totally agree OP it’s completely unacceptable, why approach someone with headphones in, that’s a clear signal you don’t want to be bothered.

The issue of teaching it though is interesting and complicated. I work with mainly 12yr old boys and I would absolutely LOVE to be able to have weekly sessions with them on consent, respect, relationships etc. They are just coming to the time when they’re interested in girls/boys. I had to have a word with one because I saw him put his arm around a girl in PE and she visibly flinched. He then proclaimed to be a ‘world class flirter’, which I assured him he was not! He genuinely didn’t see the issue and trying to explain to him that she felt intimidated was going slowly and I needed a lot more time with him than I had. I know his parents and he will have got this attitude from his dad. This is the issue: the parents on here who understand how you felt OP will already be teaching their children to respect others anyway, the ones that should be won’t be reading this, and would think it ridiculous. There currently isn’t enough time at school to teach them these things. You have actually inspired me to think about asking the headteacher when the covid insanity has died down a bit if I can run small weekly groups on these issues. I don’t think currently in our school they are getting PSHE and sex education seems to be rudimentary at best and (in my opinion) comes too late to be useful.

Most men I know are respectful to women and do feel it’s a minority that could do with some education on the topic!