Page 5 | In thinking that if women went on strike, there'd be no Christmas?

UndertheCedartree · 23/12/2020 00:08

When I was with my DH I did pretty much everything although he would get me a nice gift. He has never been bothered about Christmas, though. I have the DC for the whole of Christmas and he sees them on 27th.

Now I have DP things are different as he enjoys Christmas too so wants to be involved. However it is basically my Christmas that he has slotted into so I do more of the organising. He chooses, buys and wraps presents from him to my DC and does the adult/teenage males in his family. I buy for my side plus the women and DC in his family - but that is because I enjoy it - and he pays for his family. He got our Christmas tree - myself and DD decorated it. I did the other decorating - but again this is because I enjoy it and I wouldn't want him taking over! He has been involved in planning the food and shopping for it. I will do the cooking - he will clean up. He does his fair share of the housework. But ultimately for us yes, I think if he was in charge of the whole thing it would be on a smaller scale.

PickAChew · 23/12/2020 00:08

Our tree went up first thing on Sunday morning and it was 11 hours before it got decorated. I made it quite clear that if no one cared enough to help me decorate it, then I would save myself the bother of having to take it all off again in 2 weeks and just put everything away again.

Lucy830 · 23/12/2020 00:15

My husband has done all the present buying and wrapping this year. I didn’t ask him to, he just did it.

He also got the Christmas tree out in early November and decorated it without me knowing and bought lights for the outside of house and put them up without me knowing.

To quote husband ‘ this year has been shit, we need some bloody joy in our lives’.

I don’t even know what half of our children’s gifts are and he’s wrapped them ALL with 3 types of matching gift paper, bloody ribbon and those little bow things and gift tags (I do not do this normally)!!

Normally we are 50/50.

I did the food shop the other day but only because he asked for a list and I couldn’t be bothered to do one so went myself.

Husband is a very manly, bearded, introvert. This year has changed people... not complaining however.

HerRoyalNotness · 23/12/2020 00:18

Mine did the outside lights ans got the tree down from the attic. He’s bought 2 gifts, one of which he was told what the recipient wanted. I’ve done everything else (which to be fair is just for our family and a couple of friends), decorated inside, bought and wrapped all the other gifts. I was organising a meal with a friend Xmas day but they (her husband) changed their mind so I think we’ll go out or take out for Chinese instead.

tigerbear · 23/12/2020 00:26

Exactly the same as @Tigger03, everything is very evenly divided here, with DP prob doing slightly more than me.

It’s depressing, the number of threads on here (Every.Single.Year) around the same theme, of women basically running themselves into the ground, trying to do everything, with a partner who does next to nothing.

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 23/12/2020 00:45

To be honest I wish women would go on 'Christmas strike', because then the entire overly-commercialised pile of shit might finally die a death, and those of us who don't celebrate it might get some peace from the near three month-long national hysteria it seems to produce these days.

Sinful8 · 23/12/2020 00:52

@SchrodingersImmigrant

Maybe it's a bit of an indication that lots of that "work" is just unnecessary and self inflicted...

This

AfterSchoolWorry · 23/12/2020 00:58

Exactly, if women didn't do it there'd be no Christmas. Which I'd actually love.

I'd be relieved if the whole thing disappeared, never to be seen again.

AfterSchoolWorry · 23/12/2020 00:58

@XDownwiththissortofthingX

To be honest I wish women would go on 'Christmas strike', because then the entire overly-commercialised pile of shit might finally die a death, and those of us who don't celebrate it might get some peace from the near three month-long national hysteria it seems to produce these days.

AMEN !

Jamiefraserskilt · 23/12/2020 01:38

Mine procrastinated about shit without actually doing it. Told me as our family can't come my workload is insignificant.
He wrote three cards for his mates.
He bought stuff for me off my wish list.
I have purchased all gifts for kids & family including December birthdays, sorted food, wrote 34 cards, bought the stamps and posted them. Got the decs down from the loft, put them up, took all the boxes back upstairs, did outside lights, wrapped all the gifts and got them to their recipients, organised kid's stockings, made dessert. Over the next few days I will prep veg, cook, clear, wash pans, load and unload dishwasher, serve, tidy, and empty bins. He will sleep, moan, sleep, eat, sleep, talk to his mates on the phone, sleep and hog the remote. Sigh.

ElectriPfizing · 23/12/2020 01:43

@XDownwiththissortofthingX

To be honest I wish women would go on 'Christmas strike', because then the entire overly-commercialised pile of shit might finally die a death, and those of us who don't celebrate it might get some peace from the near three month-long national hysteria it seems to produce these days.

Yes! So well put!

YenneferOfBattenberg · 23/12/2020 01:53

My husband orders food, plans and cooks Christmas Dinner. We share responsibility for presents and he does the majority of the wrapping. He comes to choose the tree, puts it up, helps with lights (tree and outdoors) and I generally do the remainder of the decorating - tinsel, baubles and other little bits and pieces. I do Christmas cards and arrange any pre-Christmas activities (visit to Father Christmas). I also bake the Christmas cake mince pies.

TheSandman · 23/12/2020 02:01

@XDownwiththissortofthingX

To be honest I wish women would go on 'Christmas strike', because then the entire overly-commercialised pile of shit might finally die a death, and those of us who don't celebrate it might get some peace from the near three month-long national hysteria it seems to produce these days.

I am so glad, reading this thread, that I'm not the only one.

It's become insane.

squeekums · 23/12/2020 02:53

Ive done most of present shopping BUT thats only cos ive done it for mostly free from my survey site points and vouchers, something he has no idea on or patience for
He has helped choose stuff and buy stuff for dd though
Got my gifts organised
organised with his brother for a monday meal with family (im working xmas day, boxing day and sunday)

Fucket · 23/12/2020 03:01

Me - I ordered all the gifts, I will cook Xmas lunch.

Him - In charge of decorations putting up and taking down. Has ordered all the food.

Together - helped kids do Xmas cards. Shared the Xmas baking with the kids (me - cookies and Yule log with dds, him - gingerbread with dad).

No one is wrapping gifts, it’s not environmentally friendly and we give the kids a large gift bag each and reuse that each year.

We have similar type roles for kids birthdays. He decorates and I sort gifts.

Sinful8 · 23/12/2020 03:08

Hmmm has anyone else started wondering what the gender make up of the average Christmas day shift at power, water and sewage works is?

Kokeshi123 · 23/12/2020 03:11

DH sorts out the tree and does quite a lot of the shopping. He and the kids also do the decoration. I cook the dinner, but our dinner is simple and we buy in a lot of stuff. He orders most of the special foods. He washes up. I do more of the gift stuff (mostly just vouchers or calenders ordered online and sent directly, and only a few people as we mostly do non-gift pacts with friends and a lot of family members too) but not all of it. I do the Xmas cards and he does the New Year cards (we are in Japan). Cards are only for those we don't see regularly, and include a letter. We don't give each other cards or gifts---we just do some nice shopping over the winter holiday and buy stuff for ourselves and the house. Easy.

I think we are actually fairly equal, but then we keep Xmas pretty simple. Some people make Xmas into a VERY big deal, which is OK as long as they are enjoying it and doing it by choice. If a family member is reluctantly dragging through piles of work for Xmas and resenting it and not having fun at all, it's time to make a change!

StopSquirtingBleachOnCaneToads · 23/12/2020 03:15

I do most of it, but I want to. If I asked DH for help he would help - especially with cooking Christmas dinner. But I usually do it all myself because I like cooking and our house is open plan so I can still be in the room with him and the kids and watch them all playing together and chat to them. Once dinner is served everyone is very appreciative, so it's not as if I feel taken for granted.

My DH is also a really good gift giver. I think he must have a secret list that he keeps updated throughout the year whenever i mention that I like or need something, because my gifts are always very thoughtful and often are based on something that I mentioned months earlier.

If I put in all the work that i do, and my DH was ungrateful and wouldn't help if needed, or got me shit gifts, I can promise you that it would be the last year I did anything for Christmas.

Sittinbythetrees · 23/12/2020 07:01

I think if women went on Christmas strike a lot of men would be very relieved! I do most of the Christmas stuff because I enjoy it - I like decorating the tree, I enjoy icing the cake, I like having foliage all over the place, I love choosing the stocking fillers. DH would be quite happy without these things! He does: putting up the tree, some online shopping, his presents and cards (actually he doesn't do his cards but neither do I) booze ordering, vegetable growing - he things that he enjoys. We do furniture moving together.

Nowaynothappening · 23/12/2020 07:10

My DH doesn’t really like Christmas, so yes, it is generally on me to ensure it’s a magical and wonderful time for the DC. If it were left to him he would most likely buy everything on prime a day or two before Christmas and sit wrapping it all on Christmas Eve.

Stay123 · 23/12/2020 07:42

Is it wrong to say I love getting the tree, decorating, buying the presents, sending cards? If left to my husband it would be more low key and he would spend less money, cause less waste which would probably be a good thing. Why do stuff resentfully and huffily? Is having to write cards and decorate really that bad? I cook Christmas dinner but love doing it because it is just a roast dinner really, he does the Lego with the kids which I find much more boring and difficult. Why make Christmas a resentful tot for tat battle?

AlexaPlayWhiteNoise · 23/12/2020 07:44

Are there women out there with male partners who basically do all of Christmas and they just need to get a couple of gifts and turn up?

Yes, my parents. If Christmas was down to DM it'd be pasta and sauce around the 28th and presents would go out mid to end of January when she gets round to it.

I've just done the food shop with my Dad, he'll prep, cook and bake the whole thing and me and my sister will clear up.

LolaSmiles · 23/12/2020 08:29

Is it wrong to say I love getting the tree, decorating, buying the presents, sending cards? If left to my husband it would be more low key and he would spend less money, cause less waste which would probably be a good thing. Why do stuff resentfully and huffily? Is having to write cards and decorate really that bad?
You love all things Christmas so enjoy doing them. By your own admission Christmas would be lower key if your husband did it, so you take on all the extra work because you want to do it.

People resenting the fact their partner doesn't pull his weight doesn't mean the resent decorating the tree or hate sensing cards to people. It means they resent having all the mental burden of christmas and all the wife work dumped on them when their partner is an adult who is more than capable of not being an overgrown, useless manchild.

ShatnersWig · 23/12/2020 08:31

My dad does half the cooking most weeks and has done all the Christmas cooking since mum and dad married 48 years ago. Mum does most of the present shopping but we're a very small family. They do the decorations jointly.

PurpleDaisies · 23/12/2020 08:34

We would have less homemade stuff and more m and s put-it-straight-in-the-oven food but Christmas here would be very similar. Our decorations would be up three weeks earlier if it were down to dh, but our Christmas cards might be late.