Am I allowed to be upset by this

[allgoodinthehood]

Relevant
My partner is one of the nicest people you have met . He is kind, considerate, loving and generous.
He is annoyed at me because I'm upset that he hasn't got me a card for Christmas.
I've said I appreciate all that he does for me . He does alot small and big things . He would give me his last penny.
He has been to three shops today to try and get a suitable card but no luck.
He says hes annoyed Im pissed off . Ive said I'm not pissed off but I am upset that he hasnt got me a card.
He says " but you know I dont do cards " I know for a fact he would be rightfully upset if I didnt get him a birthday card.
So tell me strait AIBU
When I say upset I dont mean crying and the like I just mean Ive gone quiet but not in an angry way.
Oh and he has got me a present.

You’re being childish and utterly ridiculous.

I'm with you OP. My husband and I always buy each other nice cards with lovely words. This year he's told me he couldn't get one but I bought him one online. It wasn't difficult. I feel a bit hurt to be honest although in the grand scheme of things it's trivial.
I also suspect he hasn't bought me a present! I understand how you feel OP and also know I'm BU.

@Noidea2114

Our first Christmas we hardly had any money so we decided that it was pointless and expensive to buy 2 cards. We were out one day and saw a card which said on the front 'to the one I love' it was blank inside and we bought it and every year we both write something inside with the year and put it out. (41 years and counting)

That’s a lovely tradition- a kind of record of your time together! OP, you are being very unreasonable to be upset about not getting a Christmas card. He has got you a gift, and that will last longer than a card surely.

My husband used to ask me to buy my own birthday card for myself as he was far too busy at work. We are now divorced. Happy Christmas everyone xxxx

Very unreasonable I’m afraid

Is that your biggest issue right now? Seriously? Grow up ffs

Yabu and you cannot spell

There's a great story (possibly apochryphal) about Alan Sugar.

His wife had a significant birthday and his PA gave a card to him to sign.

The card said "Best wishes, Alan Sugar"

We don't exchange Christmas cards but we always make each other birthday/valentine/anniversary cards.

Many of them say "best wishes, Alan Sugar"

Get over yourself OP.

I dont see the point of Christmas cards for people you see so regularly.

But he is saying he wants a card but can’t be arsed to send a card... so for that he wouldn't be getting cards anymore

I would be upset if my partner was risking his health and mine by wasting time in a shop selecting the perfect card.

You buy Christmas cards for people you live with? I didn’t know people did that. That seems weird to me.

And what 3 shops did he go to and fail to find a christmas card?

Well isn't it well for you with so little to worry about, @allgoodinthehood.

Have you seen / heard the news lately ?

I’m upset I won’t be seeing my parents this Christmas because school emailed the dreaded email this morning that her year has to isolate until next week - 400 kids affected in just one school so God knows how many affected across the UK, so your card issue seems very pretty unimportant really.

YABU

It doesn't matter. Do couples usually give each other Christmas cards if they live together?

What a problem to have, he sounds like a peach - you are being U!

@Jenifirtree

And what 3 shops did he go to and fail to find a christmas card?

Maybe the butchers, the bakery and the off licence?

I mean supermarkets are heaving with Christmas crap paraphernalia. If not a card then a Merry Christmas Love mug, a teddy with a Santa hat on, some flowers glitter sprayed to an inch of their life.

That said, Op it's daft to sulk about this. My husband's mum gets all ruffled if she doesn't get a big MUM card at Christmas with a long generic poem inside. It's not as if dh wrote the poem himself, in fact he probably doesn't read it.

You can be upset especially if you collect and keep cards and letters. I could buy my mum all the presents around but If I forget a card it really upsets her. Ultimately is it worth wasting a lot of emotion over especially as he's so good in other areas.

Can't you ask him to make a donation to your favourite charity in lieu of a card?

I would assume she wants the card as a sentimental keepsake, not for its monetary value.

I'm not sure how sentimental a card is when you have to apply so much pressure on your boyfriend to buy one.

Anyway, it's good to keep some perspective when minor issues like this get to you. I clicked on this thread expecting to read something really upsetting and sobering

We don't swap cards at Christmas, so this wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I actually haven't done any Christmas cards this year in general

I would never buy DH a card or expect one, we don't even exchange birthday cards. I could not even get remotely upset by this or expect someone to traipse round shops in a pandemic looking for one!

@Angel2702

Yes you are being very unreasonable.

You are being unreasonable. He has tried to buy you a card (though quite why he couldn't find one in three shops is beyond me). If he goes on Amazon now he will find one that will be delivered Christmas Eve, but has to be quick. However you will know he is only doing it because you are upset.

Appreciate what he does already. I expect you have a pile of them and one thing he could do is customise one for you but - if he doesn't usually 'do' cards (and he's not alone there), I think it would be a bit much to push him towards that.

YANBU. It doesn't matter whether other people enjoy receiving cards or not. He himself sees the value in receiving cards, you've told him that you do too. It's such as easy way to make you happy so why wouldn't he just do it?