Am I allowed to be upset by this

[allgoodinthehood]

Relevant
My partner is one of the nicest people you have met . He is kind, considerate, loving and generous.
He is annoyed at me because I'm upset that he hasn't got me a card for Christmas.
I've said I appreciate all that he does for me . He does alot small and big things . He would give me his last penny.
He has been to three shops today to try and get a suitable card but no luck.
He says hes annoyed Im pissed off . Ive said I'm not pissed off but I am upset that he hasnt got me a card.
He says " but you know I dont do cards " I know for a fact he would be rightfully upset if I didnt get him a birthday card.
So tell me strait AIBU
When I say upset I dont mean crying and the like I just mean Ive gone quiet but not in an angry way.
Oh and he has got me a present.

how could he possibly go to three shops and not be able to find a card?

She means a nice, wife specific one. It's always hard work at this time of year so I'm not surprised if some places don't have them.

He can buy OP a generic card and put nice words into it but I wonder whether she would be happy with that?

YANBU, OP to feel the way you feel but if he always considers your feelings and has tried this year I think you need to focus on enjoying Christmas with him rather than such a tiny disappointment.

This OH wants the traffic to be only one way. As evidenced by the fact that he's (he says) gone to three different shops today. If he was bothered he wouldn't have been shopping on the 22nd, he'd have looked earlier.

Or he usually makes a fuss because it matters to OP but doesn't really care and shops have not ordered nearly as much tat this year.

I usually put a fuss into cards but this year lockdown, workload and illness have conspired to mean I still haven't got one. Fortunately, 15 years in, DW values me more than the gestures.

If it is something you usually both do, yes I would be upset.

@allgoodinthehood

Ive just apologised for being daft over a card

Thank goodness!!! What a fuss about absolutely nothing.

I will tell you STRAIGHT you are being utterly pathetic and if I was your boyfriend I would give myself a early Christmas present of being free to find a new girlfriend.

Blimey, really ??

YABU, I think you're making a mountain out of a molehill. Would you not normally react this way to this kind of situation or are you just a bit stressed atm?

@AnneLovesGilbert

He’s generous and thoughtful in his own way. He doesn’t do cards. That’s who he is. Read up on the 5 languages of love.

But if you're going by that logic, surely the OP's partner is just as obligated to understand her love language?

OP, I know how you feel as cards mean a lot to me too, my DH isn't a very card-y person and often has to be reminded to get one so there have been Christmases in the past when he's forgotten. It's been disappointing, but one of those things that are minor in the scheme of things, especially if the relationship is good, so try and shake it off if you can. Non-card-sending aside, it sounds like you've got a good 'un there.

Cards are for people you aren't going to see over Xmas.

Not everyone views them that way.

YABU, sorry!

It's nice getting cards from friends and relatives. But once we were living together, it never occurred to me to send my husband one, nor him me!

I'm amazed that anyone does!

I really think you need to get over yourself. Its a bit of paper. You said yourself he is very generous. I don't get this weird obsession people have with cards!

YAB more U than a really U thing!
Wow!
He makes such effort and you’re upset?!
How high are your standards that he couldn’t find a suitable card after 3 shops?

Seriously. If this is your only issue with him, get over yourself.

Oh I do bloody hate the 'I don't do cards' brigade. They think they're soooo superior. And 9 times out of 10 they would be disgusted if no-one got them a card!

And the ones who announce on social media that they're not giving Christmas cards this year, but are giving a donation to charity instead, are so irksome.

@allgoodinthehood YANBU. How can he have gone to 3 shops and not got a card? And why did he not get one weeks ago. Shame on him!

Even if you 'don't do cards,' why would you not give one to someone you love and care about if you know THEY like them?

Why no voting?! YABU and ridiculous!

@saraclara

It's nice getting cards from friends and relatives. But once we were living together, it never occurred to me to send my husband one, nor him me!

I'm amazed that anyone does!

REALLY? You and your DH NEVER send cards to one another? WTF?

There are bizarre posts on this thread.

What does my head in, is the attitude from the 'I don't do cards' brigade. So smug, and demeaning towards those who DO 'do cards.'

It's pretty rubbish tbf.It's only a card.Can't you ask him to make a donation to your favourite charity in lieu of a card?

Fucking hilarious

@saraclara My last paragraph there ^ wasn't aimed at you. It was a generalisation.

@allgoodinthehood
I totally get why you were a bit upset he hadn't got you one..
For my ''Big'' birthday in the heart of the first Lockdown {April} I received some very ''Naff'' cards from corner shops and garages, the only places that were open, and cherished them in all their naffery.

I spend time choosing ''People specific'' cards , often buying them months before an event if it suits the person.

However...your DH clearly didn't want to give you a naff one.

YANBU at all.

He doesn't do cards? Does he mean he likes to get hem but can't be arsed to buy one? Embarrassing he went to three shops and couldn't find one suitable for the lady he loves.

I love cards. DH once gave me one when our thing is to give two. I mentioned I was disappointed as he always picks the perfect cards. He's never forgotten since and I get two at every occasion. I also give him two.

Being with someone means putting in effort and doing things they think is important even when it isn't your preference.

Urgh, the smuggery of ''We don't do cards, we buy a goat for a starving family instead''

Nowt wrong with buying a goat, but it's the moral high ground and the fact people need to tell everyone about it.

What on Earth is this thread on MN where not giving cards is normal and. Just a waste ??

Have I entered a parallel universe?

Some people do need to grow up!

I don’t buy a card for the people I live with every day.

I send them to people who live far away (I do not send many - I give £50 to cancer research but I did send a funny one to my other half)

I was going to say "well youre allowed to be upset by anything" but actually, no. You're not. This is one of the stupidest things I ever heard in my life. Get a hold of yourself.