Am I allowed to be upset by this

[allgoodinthehood]

Relevant
My partner is one of the nicest people you have met . He is kind, considerate, loving and generous.
He is annoyed at me because I'm upset that he hasn't got me a card for Christmas.
I've said I appreciate all that he does for me . He does alot small and big things . He would give me his last penny.
He has been to three shops today to try and get a suitable card but no luck.
He says hes annoyed Im pissed off . Ive said I'm not pissed off but I am upset that he hasnt got me a card.
He says " but you know I dont do cards " I know for a fact he would be rightfully upset if I didnt get him a birthday card.
So tell me strait AIBU
When I say upset I dont mean crying and the like I just mean Ive gone quiet but not in an angry way.
Oh and he has got me a present.

Yes you're being very unreasonable.

Christmas cards are for people you won't see. Why would you give a card to someone you will be spending Christmas with?

I don't get a card or a gift . Grow up !

Don't know why people are being personal . Ive said I apologised. When I've replied to peoples posts I try and get my perspective over in a kind way I dont hurl personal insults at them . People can be very strange in deed .

OP, are you the same op who posted yesterday with the drinking thing? Because, if so, people really aren't getting the full picture I don't think. Sorry if I've mixed you up with someone else!

@FestiveFruitloop

Two cards confused why. How pointless!

FFS! Aren't people even allowed to have their own little personal traditions now?!

That must be the most pointless "tradition" I've ever heard of.

I didn’t get DH a card for our first Christmas, as I didn’t realise giving cards was A Thing when you lived together / were a couple.

I could tell he was a bit miffed (which is extremely out of character for him, so I realised it was somewhat important), so I’ve made the effort to get one ever since.

However, if I’d been to three shops in an effort to get one, in the midst of a raging global pandemic, and wasn’t successful, I’d bloody well expect him to be satisfied I’d at least tried, and very graciously let me off the hook.

Glad you’ve realised how very silly you were being over something so inconsequential!

Think you’re being a bit unreasonable OP.

Giving people who see often Christmas cards is stupid.

I always presumed cards were for people you don’t see over Christmas. He could wish you happy Christmas to your face on the day?

Nope me and DP don't do Xmas cards. By the time you have the kids school ones and neighbour ones there are just too many. None from us to each other within our family only outside of it.

No Im not the one who posted about drinking .
Just for reference though I haven't known anyone from bosses , friends or family who dont send their partner a Christmas card and I didn't realise that this wasn't normal.
I thought every couple sent cards to each other

Unless you're Jesus you're being massively unreasonable. If you are Jesus, then fair enough, it is your birthday.

That was funny

You could do what my uncle and aunty have done, OP.

In 1989 they bought each other great big over the top padded cards. And they take them out and put them up every year.

A bit naff for the first few years, but by the time you’ve been doing it for 30 years everyone who sees them out again for another year goes “Awww.”

Oh yes I remember those giant padded cards they were hideous. That is rather sweet though.

I really don't see the point in sending Christmas cards to people you live with

Op just ignore people. Theyve clearly not got enough work to do today. And some just like being asshats.

It is not unreasonable at all to be annoyed that your dh said he wants cards, but wont send you one. That’s him being lazy and entitled.

It is not unreasonable at all for you dh to say no big presents, then two days before christmas announce no presents at all. Thats shitty and grabby and tight.

Ffs I meant to type: It is not reasonable at all for your dh to say no big presents, then two days before christmas announce no presents at all. Thats shitty and grabby and tight.

I think no card is fine! I’m sure he’s got you a little gift

This is crazy. He is your husband and you live together. Christmas cards are for people outside the home....or at least thats how it works in our house!

@allgoodinthehood

No Im not the one who posted about drinking . Just for reference though I haven't known anyone from bosses , friends or family who dont send their partner a Christmas card and I didn't realise that this wasn't normal. I thought every couple sent cards to each other

Mumsnet is not the whole world so don’t take it to heart they are just a small snap shot

I’m another that all family get cards including husbands and wives

Dullardmuaed
So not just me then 😂
Someone mentioned earlier in this thread about the seven languages of love . ( sorry I cant remember who )
We have done this and it basically said
he likes little things done for him to show Im taking a little bit of the load off him . ( if that makes sense )
and I like words of love so I suppose cards come under that category.
Hey Ho its all relevant.

he likes little things done for him to show Im taking a little bit of the load off him

As long as that doesn't translate to you doing all/the majority of the housework and taking all the mental load, that's fine. If you're happy with it.

Feeding the birds I had to have a little bit of a chuckle to myself about what you wrote . He is more domesticated than me.
He enjoys cooking and does my washing sometimes. He is a demon cleaner and a minimalist which I love after being married to a hoarder ( amongst other things 😂)
So the little things are taking the recycling out or wiping the surfaces down in the kitchen before he gets a chance to do it .
One things for sure this thread is reiterating what a lively guy he is .

lovely obviously not lively .