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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DP present won’t arrive on time

159 replies

JupiterMoons9 · 22/12/2020 08:54

I ordered one of DPs presents (a pair of premium joggers) weeks ago but sadly delivery is delayed and won’t be here in time for Christmas. The situation is making me so anxious as I think he will try and make me feel bad about the situation. We set a budget between us which I went over and he still has other things to open but I feel immensely guilty and shit over the situation. I don’t know what to do. He is fussy with his clothing and these joggers were exactly his style. I don’t want to run the risk of ordering a different pair online and don’t fancy going to the shops. I could cry.

OP posts:
Original poster
JupiterMoons9 · 22/12/2020 09:04

Jesus Christ. Bit harsh don’t you think?

OP posts:
MsVestibule · 22/12/2020 09:04

How long have you been with him? Do you have children together? Apart from this (very unpleasant) trait of making you feel bad for something you have no control over, is he generally a great partner? I suspect not. Do you ever think about leaving him?

Mrsjayy · 22/12/2020 09:06

I am sorry he is such a horrible man normal nice partners don't make a fuss over not arrived. Jogging bottoms ! None of this is your fault just tell him let him sulk and ignore him don't give him any of your energy.

IRememberMySpaceBabe · 22/12/2020 09:06

To be worried to the point of tears about a grown man not getting a pair of joggers is not healthy OP, would he be worrying the same way if one of your presents had been delayed? He doesn’t sound very nice. I hope you’re ok Flowers

agapanthus1979 · 22/12/2020 09:06

You seem to be in an extremely unhealthy relationship. What sort of a knob would behave like that? Please don't waste emotions on this man. The fact that you have reacted so extremely suggests that you are scared of him and his reactions to perfectly normal situations which are out of your control.
You deserve better.

Livpool · 22/12/2020 09:07

I am in the same position but not worried at all. Will just tell DH when he is opening his presents.

Why are you so anxious about it? Is this about how your DP will react? I imagine DH will just said "ok"

BettyOBarley · 22/12/2020 09:08

I was going to say could you set up an Amazon Prime account (usually you can get a month's free trial) and get him something from there, so at least he's got something to open and an IOU for the joggers.
After reading your replies though, I don't think I'd be putting too much effort in for someone who treats me like that.

couchparsnip · 22/12/2020 09:09

I am getting an IOU from my parents and from DH this year! Being sad or sulking is pointless as noone did it on purpose!
He shouldn't be making you feel bad over something that small. Does he make you feel bad at other times? Does he ever make you feel good about yourself?

Original poster
JupiterMoons9 · 22/12/2020 09:09

We’ve been together for just over 3 years. No children (both mid 20s so not rushing anything). Most of the time he is a great partner, he is caring and considerate and he makes me laugh everyday. However, he does have another side to him where he can become grumpy, stubborn and childish. I’ve told him how it makes me feel and he has a habit of switching everything back on me. At which point I can’t handle the conversation anymore due to frustration so I just leave.

OP posts:
Blackdog19 · 22/12/2020 09:10

Why are you with him OP? What are the positives? seriously it’s a pair of jogging bottoms, I’m sure he can wait a week or so for them.

PhatPhanny · 22/12/2020 09:10

I think your beating yourself up over something you can't control.

Tell him he has a present due after Christmas due to the post, if hes ungrateful, send them back!

BrumBoo · 22/12/2020 09:11

@JupiterMoons9

Jesus Christ. Bit harsh don’t you think?
Are you on a wind-up?
Newkitchen123 · 22/12/2020 09:11

How old is he? Five?

Reading your update I'd be getting rid! You don't have to put up with that. He's a spoilt brat

Original poster
JupiterMoons9 · 22/12/2020 09:11

He makes me feel bad over other things, yes. But he does also make me feel good about myself. He’s definitely not a Jekyll and Hyde character but as I’ve mentioned he has a grumpy, stubborn and childish side to him that comes out over things which I think are trivial.

OP posts:
Turtleturtle81 · 22/12/2020 09:11

I don’t know any grown man that would act this way. You’re dating a petulant child.

Original poster
JupiterMoons9 · 22/12/2020 09:12

The poster had said it’s the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard in her life... not a wind up... that comment was harsh!

OP posts:
Mrsjayy · 22/12/2020 09:15

It is ridiculous though he is likely to throw a tantrum about trousers making your life difficult This is ridiculous !

AlrightTreacle · 22/12/2020 09:16

I’ve told him how it makes me feel and he has a habit of switching everything back on me. At which point I can’t handle the conversation anymore due to frustration so I just leave.

This needs sorting ASAP, or you're in for a future of walking on eggshells, like you are now, and slowly losing your peace of mind. It's no way to live, also sounds like he's potentially gas lighting you.

Shoxfordian · 22/12/2020 09:17

He sounds very difficult
What's attractive about him? It does sound ridiculous but you shouldn't be so worried about his displeasure and it certainly shouldn't ruin your day like this

TwentyViginti · 22/12/2020 09:18

Are you his partner or his mummy?

gannett · 22/12/2020 09:18

You shouldn't be in a relationship where you have reason to feel anxious over something so minor. Your DP's grumpy side isn't going to get any better, you know.

Looking like neither my present for DP nor his for me will arrive by Xmas because we are both disorganised and lazy - it's fine, no question that it wouldn't be. It'll be a nice surprise probably sometime in January.

HoboSexualOnslow · 22/12/2020 09:20

OP I feel for you as you clearly think this is all you're worth. 'Most of the time he is a great partner' is the bare minimum and I wouldn't put up with a partner that was 'mostly ok'. I'd suggest you do couples therapy. If he says no then get rid

Doveyouknow · 22/12/2020 09:21

I have had to tell my 9 yr old that some of his presents won't arrive on time. He hasn't sulked or complained. I can't believe a grown man would....

angieloumc · 22/12/2020 09:21

You're upset to the pint of tears about him not having a pair of joggers? If you're this worried about his reaction to this, I would seriously be rethinking the relationship. You shouldn't have to feel like this.

Nowaynothappening · 22/12/2020 09:22

No decent partner would make you feel like shit for a delayed parcel. Give yourself an early Christmas present, bin him.