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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

‘ You have had your time ‘ ... WTF

335 replies

Glitterzzz · 20/12/2020 17:35

Hello!

Back story

When I met my now husband in 2013 I had a dark plum red hair colour ( will try to attach a pic ) around 2017 I dropped it to black then brown and now with the new year coming in feeling inspired to lose some weight and bring back that colour ..

I told him this morning over breakfast and he responded with ‘ you have had your time ‘ ... I’m 37.

Is there some kind of unsaid fashion rule regarding hair colours and age //.

Is that how he sees me ?! As someone who has had their time !!! I’m
Younger than him !

‘ You have had your time ‘ ... WTF
OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
zaphodbeeble · 20/12/2020 21:12

I’m nearly 50 and have had every colour under the sun, do what you want

category12 · 20/12/2020 21:12

I literally just said that "it can be too severe for some skin tones" - don't you think that suggests that some skin tones I think it can suit?!

DrManhattan · 20/12/2020 21:16

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace
Go On! Love this

MrsKoala · 20/12/2020 21:18

@category12

I literally just said that "it can be too severe for some skin tones" - don't you think that suggests that some skin tones I think it can suit?!
Yes, that’s my point too. If your natural colour is dark then I’d hazard it goes with your colouring. The idea that everyone at a certain age stops suiting dark hair is illogical but oft repeated by hairdressers.
category12 · 20/12/2020 21:19

Oh sorry, my bad @mrskoala

christmasshopper · 20/12/2020 21:20

Sorry if this has been posted already, but print this off, and put copies all over the house Xmas Grin

barbados.org/poetry/wheniam.htm

StopSquirtingBleachOnCaneToads · 20/12/2020 21:28

I really hope the implication isn't that you've had your time, but he's older than you and he hasn't?

Some men only think of women as being old/fat/unattractive etc. They have an arbitrary set of rules about it. They don't apply to men for some reason.

catsareme14 · 20/12/2020 21:35

62 with blue streaks ! The plum colour is gorgeous!

dementedma · 20/12/2020 21:37

Mine is that colour OP. I'm 56

BiddyPop · 20/12/2020 21:40

I am late 40s and quite enjoy putting peroxide streaks in to allow pillarbox red be visible on my relatively dark hair, as "candy cane stripes" for Christmas. I don't tend to colour my hair the rest of the year but I liked doing that. My hairdresser has a few clients who like mad colours (I'm in the "young" group of this category 😂).

Go for it!!

ThirstyGhost · 20/12/2020 21:44

@category12

I said "can make", not inevitably does make Hmm. It can be too severe for some skin tones and may not always do everyone any favours. If OP's dh thinks it doesn't suit her, it is possible he's right. Or he could just be a nob. As could I Grin. It's all a matter of opinion, isn't it?
Yes it is all a matter of opinion. My opinion is that horrible ageist words like "haggard" used to describe women are best avoided.
PyongyangKipperbang · 20/12/2020 21:46

47 with bright pink hair here.

I have to agree with a PP that it would worry me that he has this attitude to you aging. Is this the start of him deciding you are too old for him....?

Sillysop92 · 20/12/2020 21:46

Oops, I told my husband who is just past 50 that I thought Moss Bros was too young for him 😂 Skinny leg suits??

category12 · 20/12/2020 21:50

Apologies @thirstyghost, I withdraw haggard (and also older), and will stick with washed out and doesn't suit.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 20/12/2020 21:55

What an odd comment for DH to make.

Dwrcegin · 20/12/2020 21:59

"You've had your day" at 37! Thirty bloody seven!

Go as many colours as you want, whatever colour you like, when you like. Dye it!

Icanflyhigh · 20/12/2020 21:59

Fuck that! I'm 42 on Xmas day and my hair is a different colour every week. Currently pink and blue mermaid mix.
Could change tomorrow.

Are you in a relationship with my XH??!

Stigsmother · 20/12/2020 22:07

Go for it, never mind you've had your time, you're in your primeXmas Smile
I'm sixty next year, and went peach yesterday, got to do something to brighten this year up

christmasathomeagain · 20/12/2020 22:12

I'm 42 and been colouring my hair a similar shade all year. I get lots of compliments on it. I would love pink hair but think I may be to old however my neighbour of the same age colours her hair pink. She has a very professional job too.

Colour your hair however you want and feel comfortable.

Graphista · 20/12/2020 22:43

Ha! As if!

2 of my aunties are currently rocking:

1 electric blue spikes

2 fire engine red with black under layers

They're in their 60's

My mother was red last year too she's now gone to a more indigo shade she's in her 70's

I am bucking the "age hair rules" that supposedly exist by having waist length hair and I'm nearly 48 oddly it's my mother has the main issue with this Grin

But I'm naturally curly and don't suit my hair short at all because unless it's VERY Short or I beat it into submission with a shit ton of product it more often looks like a bad shampoo and set! So it's staying long!

I've let the natural colour come through as for various reasons I can't make use of a hairdresser at the moment and I'm not able to colour it myself (health issues which include lack of control of hand movements and difficulties reaching up generally, another reason having long hair is easier)

He's being an arse but I'm sure you know that already!

Perhaps because he KNOWS women are at their sexual peak in 30's and 40's whereas men's peak is waning?

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/12/2020 22:44

@christmasathomeagain

I'm 42 and been colouring my hair a similar shade all year. I get lots of compliments on it. I would love pink hair but think I may be to old however my neighbour of the same age colours her hair pink. She has a very professional job too.

Colour your hair however you want and feel comfortable.

At 47 I am not too old for it, so you certainly are not!

My mother used to be quite funny about hair. She had this thing that women over 40 should not have longer than shoulder length hair, preferably a bob and dyed a nice mid brown......

She LOVES my hair now, I think this year has really shown her what matters and what doesnt. She wanted blue ends on her hair but cant risk it due to allergies :( I might get her some hair mascara in new year!

xmasfairybuns · 20/12/2020 22:46

He'd have had his time if he'd said that to me, and I don't mean for hair dye. I'm nearly 60 and I quite fancy that hair dye myself.

M0rT · 20/12/2020 23:08

Your DP can't be telling you it doesn't suit you as you look great in that pic!
Maybe he is just very conservative/maybe he is insecure. Either way it's his issue to deal with....buy a box or get on the list for a hairdressers appointment and go for it!
Also @CaptainSandy can I ask how you got your hair that colour? Was it the hairdresser?
I have naturally dark hair with some grey and I went through three different box dyes trying to get blue hair last year. They all just turned my grey black and didn't change the black hair at all. I have up and starting putting red in instead, but I would love blue hair!

CaptainSandy · 20/12/2020 23:17

@M0rT I did it myself but its a huge faff tbh, the blue doesn't take anything like as well as my more usual red. I had to bleach the colour right out then I used the Swartzkopf XXL stuff, first the permanent then touched up with the brighter semi permanent.

Craftycorvid · 20/12/2020 23:36

When I saw this thread title, I imagined some sort of dystopian situation whereby someone felt you’d lived too long Confused. I’m rather relieved it’s just about hair!

So, about hair.....I’m in my 50s and I henna mine - just not into the creeping grey. My hair is also long, just below bra strap length. I have been told the henna will make my hair ‘orange’ as the amount of grey increases, said like it’s a bad thing?!

Go for whatever colour makes you feel good, OP. And let no one dissuade you. I hope the era of women over a certain age adopting bubble perms and lisle stockings is over. I’ve found photos of my late mum in which she’s added a good 20 years to her age by how she’s dressed, and she would only have been around my age at the time. Clothes and hairstyles are supposed to be fun, how we express ourselves.