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AIBU?

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Original poster

‘ You have had your time ‘ ... WTF

335 replies

Glitterzzz · 20/12/2020 17:35

Hello!

Back story

When I met my now husband in 2013 I had a dark plum red hair colour ( will try to attach a pic ) around 2017 I dropped it to black then brown and now with the new year coming in feeling inspired to lose some weight and bring back that colour ..

I told him this morning over breakfast and he responded with ‘ you have had your time ‘ ... I’m 37.

Is there some kind of unsaid fashion rule regarding hair colours and age //.

Is that how he sees me ?! As someone who has had their time !!! I’m
Younger than him !

‘ You have had your time ‘ ... WTF
OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
SchadenfreudePersonified · 20/12/2020 20:32

@Hollyhocksarenotmessy

No age limits on colour!
Hollyhocks is right!

I'm 67 and had my hair cerise - it was fab!

DioneTheDiabolist · 20/12/2020 20:35

You are 37 OP.
You are less than 20 years into an adulthood that may last another 50 years.Xmas Shock

You "have not had your time".Xmas Hmm
WTF is your husband on about?Xmas Confused

Babyyodasmacarons · 20/12/2020 20:36

What a dick! Sorry OP, I know he’s your DP, but Angry 37!! You do what you want OP and to hell with him... or anyone else for that matter!

firesong · 20/12/2020 20:39

Have whatever you like! And I wouldn't even talk to him about that kind of thing. Your hair!

MrsKoala · 20/12/2020 20:39

It depends really....if it goes with your overall "style" then fine...otherwise it might look a bit trying too hard/trying to relive your youth which can just come across as a bit sad sorry

I don’t get this. It’s such a plain and normal colour to have your hair. If this is reliving some wild youth then the youth was pretty boring! My teenage years were grunge, it was undercuts, bright red hair and ear to nose chains. If anyone had had this colour/style it would have been seen as very bland. This is a very sensible, typical aged 30s colour.

BitOfANameChange · 20/12/2020 20:41

I'm going to my abusive ex's funeral tomorrow. In fact, I'm the one arranging it on behalf of the kids, as there's no one else.

I'm 52 and I will be there at the funeral with bleach blonde hair, and pink, blue and sea green layers underneath. He hated me putting any colour, even brown, on my hair, said I needed to grow old gracefully (ie looking like a haggard old fart like him). I like colours on my hair, and tomorrow's colour is a final "fuck you" without me ever having to say a word.

thinkingaboutLangCleg · 20/12/2020 20:42

I love the hairdos on here, and I’d ditch any man who told me to grow old gracefully.

Heatherjayne1972 · 20/12/2020 20:42

Your hair. Your choice

VirginHouseSeller · 20/12/2020 20:42

I'm 37 and I currently have blue hair. My husband loves my bold hair choices 😂

MrsLebowski · 20/12/2020 20:43

Maybe he's had enough of your time.

oakleaffy · 20/12/2020 20:46

@NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace

Here's one of my artistic creations. I'm 53. Meh. I love it Smile
That's lovely!
Crownofthorns · 20/12/2020 20:47

What?! I’m 40 with long blonde hair, my intention is to keep it long and blonde for as long as I can get away with it which I imagine will be a few years yet! You are only 37 and that’s a gorgeous colour, ignore him!

ProudAuntie76 · 20/12/2020 20:47

@category12

I think very dark hair can make you look haggard and washed out when you're older. I think you should have fun with your hair, why not - but maybe the shade would be too dark.
She’s not “older”

She’s 37! Not 73. Ridiculous comment Hmm.

oakleaffy · 20/12/2020 20:48

@BitOfANameChange

I'm going to my abusive ex's funeral tomorrow. In fact, I'm the one arranging it on behalf of the kids, as there's no one else.

I'm 52 and I will be there at the funeral with bleach blonde hair, and pink, blue and sea green layers underneath. He hated me putting any colour, even brown, on my hair, said I needed to grow old gracefully (ie looking like a haggard old fart like him). I like colours on my hair, and tomorrow's colour is a final "fuck you" without me ever having to say a word.

He is lucky you are there to arrange it for him. Many wouldn't be.

He can't ever abuse you again.

oakleaffy · 20/12/2020 20:50

Whaaattttttt have I just read??

''Dark hair makes you look haggard when older''....At 37

🤔 What are you, 12? 😂

Snaketime · 20/12/2020 20:51

I work in a shop and there are a couple of wonderful ladies (a lot older than you OP) who have brightly coloured dyed hair. There is no age limit on it OP, ignore him and just do it.

NameChange84 · 20/12/2020 20:53

@oakleaffy

Whaaattttttt have I just read??

''Dark hair makes you look haggard when older''....At 37

🤔 What are you, 12? 😂

Quite! I’m 36, I didn’t realise it was time for claiming my pension and dyeing my naturally black hair white. (I’m mixed race with no greys).

I knew MN was ageist but 37...older?! Utter tosh.

Thewinterofdiscontent · 20/12/2020 20:55

Is it less about the colour and more about your need to stay as you were?
Why are we dismissing the opinion of our nearest and dearest. Perhaps that look us a bit dated if it’s you at 30.
Maybe change your style to something you haven’t done before, when you lose weight.

Babyyodasmacarons · 20/12/2020 20:56

*Whaaattttttt have I just read??

''Dark hair makes you look haggard when older''....At 37

🤔 What are you, 12? 😂*

God how do we expect men to not make ageist comments when other women will do it for them 😑

MellowYellow101 · 20/12/2020 20:59

I went out before all the local restrictions and remember seeing elderly twin having lunch. One had the traditional white hair in a bob style and the other had bright purple and pink hair.

If it makes you happy, do it. Your hair not his

category12 · 20/12/2020 20:59

I said "can make", not inevitably does make Hmm. It can be too severe for some skin tones and may not always do everyone any favours. If OP's dh thinks it doesn't suit her, it is possible he's right. Or he could just be a nob. As could I Grin. It's all a matter of opinion, isn't it?

ProudAuntie76 · 20/12/2020 21:02

@category12

I said "can make", not inevitably does make Hmm. It can be too severe for some skin tones and may not always do everyone any favours. If OP's dh thinks it doesn't suit her, it is possible he's right. Or he could just be a nob. As could I Grin. It's all a matter of opinion, isn't it?
The issue was that you are referring to a 37 year old as “older”. It’s simply not “older” or “haggard” territory by a long stretch.
madcatladyforever · 20/12/2020 21:05

Haha I'm 58 and have pink hair.

Thewinterofdiscontent · 20/12/2020 21:08

This is no different to “blokes with beards”. There’s loads of reasons why it looks good including being in trend. Also loads of reasons why it might look bad.

If I tell my DH he looks better not shaving his chin, am I some sort of control freak or just objectively telling him what I think looks attractive? I wouldn’t stop him shaving but I’d wonder why he was doing it.

MrsKoala · 20/12/2020 21:10

@category12

I said "can make", not inevitably does make Hmm. It can be too severe for some skin tones and may not always do everyone any favours. If OP's dh thinks it doesn't suit her, it is possible he's right. Or he could just be a nob. As could I Grin. It's all a matter of opinion, isn't it?
Depends on your natural colour/tones I think. I’ve naturally always had very dark ash brown hair, jet black eyebrows and eyelashes and body hair. I now have 5-10% grey and my hairdresser said that as I got older I should go lighter all over to a kind of mouse brown colour as dark hair ages you. But what I don’t understand is if that’s my natural colour surely that’s what suits my colouring. Do all the women from Portugal, Argentina, China, Syria etc who have naturally dark hair colour suddenly need to go mid brown when the hit 45?