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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What would you do (Scotland travel ban related)

143 replies

PhyllisPhysalis · 20/12/2020 14:59

Please tell me what you would do if you were me. What you would really do in this situation.

I am a key worker and work shifts.

I had a baby earlier this year. DH and I live away from family, we live in Scotland and our family don't, so family have only met DC once (after first lockdown ended) since they were born.

When we knew we could spend Christmas with families, DH decided that he would go over to family with DC yesterday morning, and I would work a few more shifts leading up to Christmas then head on Monday to join them, having a week off from then.

Now, they are all there, and I am here, and stuck, on my own, away from DC and potentially spending Christmas here with nobody, missing one DC's first Christmas. I cannot do it. I can't miss this. It feels so unfair because, if I hadn't offered to work this week in the lead-up then I'd already be there with them. We have been completely obeying the rules (our area has been under tight restrictions since August already), and we didn't break the rules because we wanted to make sure it was all safe for Christmas. And now I will be sitting on my own while my own children are somewhere else, all because of a rule that I am not allowed to cross the Scottish border. While everyone who has family in Scotland is still allowed to travel to see theirs.

I can't miss my baby's first Christmas. My older DC will be distraught that their mum is not there. I am distraught at the thought of it. This feels like punishment for being a key worker who is working the lead-up, otherwise I'd already be there too. And we don't even know when DH and DC will be allowed to travel back - it could be weeks! I cannot bear that, I need to be with my baby.

What would you do?

What do I do? AIBU to want to just go?

OP posts:
Finfintytint · 20/12/2020 15:00

I’d go.

PepsiArcade · 20/12/2020 15:01

For goodness sake, just go.

Hufflepuff21 · 20/12/2020 15:02

Go. There's no way you should miss Christmas with your children. The government's handling of this is appalling and, frankly, cruel. I think you should go.

Crazycakelady17 · 20/12/2020 15:02

I’d go and if I got caught pay the fine gladly you need to be with your baby and other children do it!

NamelessNinja · 20/12/2020 15:03

Go!

Figgygal · 20/12/2020 15:03

Go and hope you don’t get stopped
How long is the journey?

curlyLJ · 20/12/2020 15:04

I'd go without a moment's hesitation

Thisismylife1 · 20/12/2020 15:04

I don’t know why you’re evening questioning this. You’re off to join your family, not jet off to the Maldives!

Though I suspect the technically correct thing is your family should return home and you stay out.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 20/12/2020 15:04

Surely it would make more sense for them to come back or you'll all end up stuck there.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 20/12/2020 15:04

I’d get DH to travel back rather than go to him as it’s an extra journey that’s not needed.

Thisismylife1 · 20/12/2020 15:04

As your DH broke the rules to go early

Calvinlookingforhobbes · 20/12/2020 15:05

I’d go

NeutralJanet · 20/12/2020 15:05

I'd ask DH and the DCs to come back now and spend Christmas together in your own house. I don't know how stringently the border crossing is going to be policed but I'd rather take the risk once for them to come home than multiple times for you to travel down and then all of you to come back.

museumum · 20/12/2020 15:05

I’d class this as travelling “for work reasons”. You’ve been away from your family to work and need to return to them.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 20/12/2020 15:06

I’d tell him to come home!

museumum · 20/12/2020 15:06

Although since proper lockdown begins on 26th you really need to be where your work is by then. Probably better to get your immediate family to return to you rather than you going there.

Original poster
PhyllisPhysalis · 20/12/2020 15:07

@Figgygal

Go and hope you don’t get stopped How long is the journey?
It's long. And it involves getting a boat.

I could fly but it's safer to get a boat, so even though it's a ball-ache, that's what I'd booked to do. Trying to do the right thing, and it's totally backfired.

OP posts:
ProudAuntie76 · 20/12/2020 15:07

Aren’t you exempt from any fine if it’s to join your children?! Surely if you are stopped that’s all you say - I’m a mother who is a key worker, my baby is months old, I need to get to my children.

Blackdog19 · 20/12/2020 15:07

Go, I wouldn’t think twice

Gardeniaofdelights · 20/12/2020 15:08

Without a doubt, just go Flowers

ProudAuntie76 · 20/12/2020 15:08

@NeutralJanet

I'd ask DH and the DCs to come back now and spend Christmas together in your own house. I don't know how stringently the border crossing is going to be policed but I'd rather take the risk once for them to come home than multiple times for you to travel down and then all of you to come back.
Or this.
Original poster
PhyllisPhysalis · 20/12/2020 15:09

@Thisismylife1

As your DH broke the rules to go early
He didn't break the rules. There were no rules at that point. He was travelling for childcare reasons as well so he could work (from home, he can work anywhere).
OP posts:
emmathedilemma · 20/12/2020 15:11

He needs to come home. Lots of us can't see family south of the border now, be grateful you're not spending it home alone.

emmathedilemma · 20/12/2020 15:11

He has already broken the rules, you're not meant to travel outside your local authority area except for essential reasons e.g, work and school.

CottonSock · 20/12/2020 15:11

Can you get a covid test then travel? We are in a similar position and I think dh now has covid. Mostly likely from working in a covid hell hole

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