What would you do (Scotland travel ban related)

[PhyllisPhysalis]

Please tell me what you would do if you were me. What you would really do in this situation.

I am a key worker and work shifts.

I had a baby earlier this year. DH and I live away from family, we live in Scotland and our family don't, so family have only met DC once (after first lockdown ended) since they were born.

When we knew we could spend Christmas with families, DH decided that he would go over to family with DC yesterday morning, and I would work a few more shifts leading up to Christmas then head on Monday to join them, having a week off from then.

Now, they are all there, and I am here, and stuck, on my own, away from DC and potentially spending Christmas here with nobody, missing one DC's first Christmas. I cannot do it. I can't miss this. It feels so unfair because, if I hadn't offered to work this week in the lead-up then I'd already be there with them. We have been completely obeying the rules (our area has been under tight restrictions since August already), and we didn't break the rules because we wanted to make sure it was all safe for Christmas. And now I will be sitting on my own while my own children are somewhere else, all because of a rule that I am not allowed to cross the Scottish border. While everyone who has family in Scotland is still allowed to travel to see theirs.

I can't miss my baby's first Christmas. My older DC will be distraught that their mum is not there. I am distraught at the thought of it. This feels like punishment for being a key worker who is working the lead-up, otherwise I'd already be there too. And we don't even know when DH and DC will be allowed to travel back - it could be weeks! I cannot bear that, I need to be with my baby.

What would you do?

What do I do? AIBU to want to just go?

Just checked - you ARE in the “exceptions” category on the Scot Gov website;

^ Exceptions
The regulations prohibit travel without a reasonable excuse into or out of a Level 3 or 4 local authority area, or between Scotland and other parts of the Common Travel Area (currently England, Wales, Northern Ireland, Jersey and County Donegal in the Republic of Ireland). The regulations list a range of different things for which travel is permitted. Guidance on those is set out below. But please remember that it is important for everyone’s safety that we all minimise such travel as much as possible.

travel for work or an activity associated with seeking employment, or to provide voluntary or charitable services, but only where that cannot be done from your home
travel to school (including travel to or from boarding school), college, or university (for example to or from home at the start or end of term) This includes travel for home education, training, school day trips or for other essential purposes connected with a course of study
(to and from Level 3 local authority areas but not Level 4) travel for under 18s organised activities and sport
travel for essential shopping, including essential shopping for a vulnerable person. However, you should use online shopping or shops, banks and other services in your local authority area wherever you can. In Level 3, a person who lives next to a local authority boundary can cross that boundary for non-essential shopping if that retail outlet is in the immediate vicinity of where they live
travel for healthcare
travel for childcare or parental support services
travel for essential services, including:
social care
accessing day care centres
services provided by the Department for Work and Pensions
services provided to victims (including victims of crime)
asylum and immigration services and interviews
services of a charitable or voluntary nature such as food banks
waste or recycling services but only if they are not available in your local authority area
travel to provide care, assistance, support to or respite for a vulnerable person
travel to participate in or facilitate shared parenting or between two parts of an extended household
travel to meet a legal obligation including satisfying bail conditions, to participate in legal proceedings, to comply with a court mandate in terms of sentence imposed or to register a birth
travel for attendance at court including a remote jury centre, an inquiry, a children’s hearing, tribunal proceedings or to resolve a dispute via Alternative Dispute Resolution
travel for essential animal welfare reasons, such as exercising or feeding a horse or going to a vet
local outdoor informal exercise such as walking, cycling, golf, or running (in groups of up to 6 people, plus any children under 12, from no more than 2 households) that starts and finishes at the same place (which can be up to 5 miles from the boundary of your local authority area)
in Level 3 travel to attend a gathering which relates to a marriage ceremony or civil partnership registration
in Level 4 travel to attend a marriage ceremony or registration of a civil partnership
travel for gatherings related to funerals or for compassionate reasons which relate to the end of a person’s life. This includes gatherings related to the scattering of ashes
travel to or from a level 3 area (but not to or from a level 4 area) for the purposes of driving lessons or taking a driving test
if you are a minister of religion or worship leader, travel for the purposes of leading an act of worship
(to or from Level 3 local authority areas, but not to or from Level 4) travel to attend your normal place of worship
travel to donate blood
travel to transit through a Level 3 or 4 local authority area by road or public transport if your journey begins and ends outside such an area;
travel in connection with moving home (including viewing a property), or for activities in connection with the maintenance, purchase, sale, letting, or rental of residential property that the person owns or is otherwise responsible for.
travel to avoid injury, illness or to escape a risk of harm
for those involved in professional sports, travelling to training or competing in an event
to visit a person receiving treatment in a hospital, staying in a hospice or care home, or to accompany a person to a medical appointment
travel to register or vote in an Scottish or UK Parliament, Local Government or overseas election or by-election, including on behalf of someone else by proxy
travel to visit a person detained in prison, young offenders institute, remand centre, secure accommodation or other place of detention^

I'd go.

My parents live just over the border but I can't go and see them. My in laws live further away but they're in Scotland so it's fine to visit them. Ridiculous. The governments of the UK need to be consistent with the restrictions and not keep changing things and imposing arbitarty barriers such as this

Him coming back now could be an option, although it's still a border crossing and having to do such a long journey solo with the DC again so soon would be a nightmare for him - it was hard for him on the way there.

I am relieved people are saying they'd go. I want to go, but I don't want to be one of those "the rules don't apply to me/I'm a special case" people. I am also worried I might get stopped and fined if I try to go.

Go.

I'd get him to come back as a) I'm fairly sure he'd be allowed to travel home, particularly to reunite a baby with its DM, whereas you may well get stopped trying to get to where they are, and b) if you all get stranded up there for god knows how long what about your work? Presumably you need to work after Christmas at some point? Realistically too, if anyone is infected with this new mutation, it's going to be you, working right up until Christmas, so in terms of obeying the spirit of the rules, it's better if you stay put and they return.

OP go. The problem isn't going to be leaving Scotland, it's going to be coming back in, but they can't stop you going home.

Your OH broke the rules already so I would ask him to come back.

The Scottish border is also supposed to be closed to people coming from England - didn't any of you watch Nicola Sturgeon at 5.30pm yesterday? She's been itching to do this since March and now she's suddenly got a cast iron reason for doing it.

Just go.

I'm in Scotland and "coming back in" is not going to be a problem. There will not be roadblocks. Police have enough to do without stopping families.

Proud Aunty, thank you, I've been trying to find the rules and couldn't. But shared-parenting, is that not for separated co-parents? I suppose at the moment we are 'separated', although that's probably not the intention they had in using that word.

Get them to come back. While it might be ok for you to travel down (just you, extenuating circumstances, etc) you could get stuck there. And if all of you then travelled back you could (and arguably, should) get fined - never mind the selfishness of the travelling in the first place...

@zafferana

The Scottish border is also supposed to be closed to people coming from England - didn't any of you watch Nicola Sturgeon at 5.30pm yesterday? She's been itching to do this since March and now she's suddenly got a cast iron reason for doing it.

How's she planning on enforcing that? She's said she's imposing a travel ban. Police Scotland have said they won't be setting up roadblocks to enforce it.

It's just words.

@PhyllisPhysalis

Proud Aunty, thank you, I've been trying to find the rules and couldn't. But shared-parenting, is that not for separated co-parents? I suppose at the moment we are 'separated', although that's probably not the intention they had in using that word.

I don’t think they’ll get into semantics.

You are separated from your children.

Plus baby is under 1. Which is different from being separated from older children.

@Mascaramademehappy

Your OH broke the rules already so I would ask him to come back.

He didn't break the rules.

He’s an adult, of course he can manage the same journey back

If your DH is on one of the Scottish Islands I would check if they will be able to travel back home after Christmas. It's essential travel only from Boxing Day and the ferry companies might require documents at check in.
Regards of this I would insist they come back and spent Christmas with you.

Latest from Police CC 👇 . Might be more acceptable to the Police for DH to be travelling home than you to a family get together.

"“Today, I have authorised the doubling of our operational presence in the Border areas of Scotland.
“These highly visible patrols will be proactively deployed on our road networks to continue our operational activity to ensure drivers and vehicles are in a fit condition to drive. The patrols will also deter anyone who might be considering breaching the coronavirus travel restrictions."

He didn't break the rules. There were no rules at that point. He was travelling for childcare reasons as well so he could work (from home, he can work anywhere).

Even before this you weren't allowed to travel outside your local authority. it's a bit of a stretch to say that he travelled to presumably Northern Ireland or Ireland (given the need for a boat) for childcare reasons.

@museumum

I’d class this as travelling “for work reasons”. You’ve been away from your family to work and need to return to them.

No it's not because she doesn't live where they're visiting.

@PhyllisPhysalis. DH & the kids would come home. They're allowed to return home. You could end up having real problems getting the family home if you go there.

Why has your DH broken the rules to go there early anyway? Why would you have if you hadn't been working?

But thank you for putting in the extra shifts to help patients & fellow NHS staff. I hope you have a nice Christmas at home wuth your immediate family! 🎅🏼

@ProudAuntie76

Aren’t you exempt from any fine if it’s to join your children?! Surely if you are stopped that’s all you say - I’m a mother who is a key worker, my baby is months old, I need to get to my children.

Don't be daft.

Her DH can bring their children home. He's not the bloody child snatcher she needs to rescue her children from.

It's not a stretch - we needed childcare for a few days for work, and nurseries are closed. Our closest family are not in Scotland.

Just go.

@PhyllisPhysalis

Proud Aunty, thank you, I've been trying to find the rules and couldn't. But shared-parenting, is that not for separated co-parents? I suppose at the moment we are 'separated', although that's probably not the intention they had in using that word.

Shared parenting is, as you thought, for separated parents not parents who have chosen to break the rules and go & visit people.

You say he hasn't broken the rules, but he has. It wasn't permitted to stay in someone's house and 'childcare' is 'hand over the children to be cared for' not the parents to be in the hone as well

DH needs to bring the children home instead of you looking for a way around the rules. You say you don't want to be making I'm special exemptions, but that's exactly what you're trying to do.

Your DH shouldn't have gone & you definitely shouldn't go. Along with thousands of others, your plans need to be changed.

You're at pains to say you haven't broken the rules, but he already has, and you were planning to (travelling before 23 Dec)

He should come home with the children

Separately, thank you for working in NHS