Fuck it. Let’s have a ‘Shit Secret Santa’ thread.

[Retiremental]

Mine hit a new low spot this year with Bayliss and fucking Harding

Worst gift: Mini Body Shop pack with shower gel and body lotion.

Best gift: Cath Kidston mug, perfect size

I always seem to get the joke gift, and it's not deliberate as we don't draw names, we just randomly pull gifts out!, so one year it was racing dicks, another year it was glasses that were a straw. Everyone else seemed to get lovely things, like a bauble that was a bluetooth speaker, or small toiletry set.

The worst one ever was a plastic pretend nose -fake dick/glasses set that you were supposed to wear as a joke. It was awful and it was the only present of that type. I made everyone else wear them and take photos so that I wasn't the only one!

i would be thrilled with Bayliss & Harding ....

@Mustbe3ormorecharacters

When I was at uni I got one of my professors, a lady that every day would eat 2 bananas. I looked for something banana related and found a case for a banana I wasn’t at the dinner when gifts were exchanged but apparently everyone thought it was a sex toy. It’s similar to the picture attached, i was so proud to have found such a personal and practical gift.

This reminds me of when I got a male colleague who was due to go on a charity bike ride across Europe. I got him a tub of anti chafe cream. It was a genuine gift. Unfortunately it didn't make clear on the packaging that it was for cycling and he apparently thought it was some sort of lube.

I was on a specialised craft group secret santa. It's usually such a lovely thoughtful one. We have months to prepare and quite a high budget (for secret santa). We have to make something out of the craft, then top up with gifts. There is a quiz where everyone answers questions (favourite colour etc), so the gifts are usually really thoughtful and wonderful.

I spent months making mine and put a lot of care into choosing the other gifts, as did the rest of the group. Apart from mine, who didn't make anything and sent an amazon parcel 2 weeks after the deadline, with two things that I'd specifically said I didn't like in the quiz.

If I wasnt certain that I don't know anyone in the group I would think it was personal! I think they just couldn't be bothered when it came down to it. I usually love secret santa though and I won't let it put me off.

@Summerdayshaze

A picture of my head photoshopped onto an Amish man.

@eeek88

FYI i really think you can't go wrong with scratchcards for Secret Santa. Not a big burden for landfill, thrilling to scratch, and potentially a very big win.

If I got that I’d think ‘what a waste of a tenner’

what I dislike about Secret Santa, when you are given a price of £10 and I will purposely find things to that value which are nice but others think it is ok to spend well below the limit or regift tat

£5 Boots voucher. I was so disappointed when I'd spent ages on my secret santa person's present and also everyone around me was opening really interesting and thoughtful little gifts. Might as well have just given me a fiver, don't bother with a voucher.

My best one was years ago. I got a plastic donkey that shat cigarettes. I did smoke but still

A pair of "Everything is better in Texas" Christmas ornaments. Mind you, we still put them on the tree.

Bayliss & Harding not the end of the world. Soap is soap.
I once received a free gift from Avon. Not worried that it was Avon, but it was advertised on the front of all their booklets as free with any purchase. But the giver would have received a decent gift from someone else. I was glad it wasn't me spending my money on them!

I hate secret Santa! A couple of years ago I received some unicorn poo ‘slime’ from a colleague at work. I couldn’t believe it, I had to nod and smile when I opened it but I was sort of offended (turns out it was from a much older colleague who thought it was a good idea as I have nieces )

Many moons ago, work at the time done a secret Santa, the limit was £5. Some really generally rude woman In work declared that whoever had her for Secret Santa had better not get her bath salts because she would be really angry! Turns out I had her and couldn’t resist getting her bath salts, made a few people laugh

0ne year I got a man's t shirt in army green with the words 'grumpy bastard' on it. Turned out the guy who gave it to me had a thing for me. What he was thinking I'll never know! It was like being in the playground again.

The year one bloke decided as it was a "secret" no-one would know it was him who didn't put a present in...? We handed them out one by one until there were no presents left and only one person was left without one. Me, as it turned out (who organised it).
What he didn't bank on was everyone else being mortified, thinking anyone would think it was them, and immediately fessing up who they bought for and by a process of elimination he was outed. The office turned on him. He still denied it for a couple of days then eventually went to the nearest Sainsburys and bought the cheapest, most awful teddy bear i have ever seen (before i had kids). I hated it and wish he hadn't bothered. C*ck

Thanks to COVID, we will probably never have to endure finger buffets and picky bits any more in the future as they won’t be considered hygienic!

Nothing too bad.
I got a pair of 100% acrylic Aran style gloves that “creaked” when I closed my hands.
And once I gave a Muslim a mug with teddies and “Have a Beary Merry Christmas” on it.

This year I took part in a postal Secret Santa with £10 limit, I spent ages choosing my gift (a rather fabulous V & A Museum book about the history of handbag fashion with photos on every page of handbags over the decades - well, I thought it was a nice gift anyway! I received a cheap flimsy SUMMER scarf that looked like someone a decade or two older than me might wear, decorated with musical notes. I am a professional singer so I think that’s why they chose it as they thought I would like it, but pro musicians CRINGE at the thought of wearing clothes decorated with music notes, it’s just so tacky! I realised they must have tried to pick something they thought I would like but....oh dear.
I donated it to charity.

Not my secret Santa but my DD’s. She bought her secret Santa a lovely box of Xmas chocolates and wrapped it nicely and got back 2 packets of Oreos (there was a 10€ limit and obviously she got 2 quid spend on her. My other DD also similar sent hers a nice box of chocolates and sweets with another item she knew her SS would like. She got back a weird purse that she’ll never use. That’s the last time either of them will do SS! 🤣

The worst was when I had to buy for a woman in the team that I didn't know particularly well. I spent time finding out what sort of things she liked instead of getting crap for the sake of it.

She absolutely loved her present. She showed it to everyone saying "Look what John got for me!"

Our boss got all the credit (and when he had one year he got me the dreaded B&H set!)

@anwensmummy - at least some thought went into the present, and although not your taste, they did think about who they were buying for. Beats a generic toiletry gift.

Two years in a row, same person who knew I am a recovering alcoholic, bought me wine. Including when I was pregnant. I wasn’t ungrateful, the gifts I give are crap. But honestly would have preferred a bottle of Pepsi or whatever.

Very true! The best SS gift I got was when I was pregnant and getting back pain, someone bought me a lavender wheat bag that you can heat up in the microwave to help with aches and pains, it was exactly what I needed! It meant that I guessed exactly who had given it to me as it was someone who knew me well

I usually arrange the secret santa at work average 20 people. We use name generator and you can create a wish list. I've always been quite lucky to be honest, and had great gifts. One year I got a pair of bootie style slippers, went to put them on and a Yankee candle was in each of them. However cannot say one of my colleagues were as lucky. She got a personal CD player in 2019.... are they even a thing anymore! 🤦‍♀️

@ComtesseDeSpair

I once got a 2,000-piece jigsaw puzzle of a rural countryside scene. I still don’t know whether somebody was making a snide dig that I must have too much time on my hands because I wasn’t paying enough attention to my job; or whether the giver was a work friend saying quite the opposite. Although in context, the Secret Santa policy for that workplace was that gifts had to come from a charity shop so that it wasn’t just a money-wasting pointless tat exercise, so also possible they just grabbed whatever they could find at the last minute!

Better than the childs jigsaw puzzle with about 30 pieces that a colleague got for a childless person!