Fuck it. Let’s have a ‘Shit Secret Santa’ thread.

[Retiremental]

Mine hit a new low spot this year with Bayliss and fucking Harding

I got given a lovely Michael Kors perfume sample set...very happy.

I gave a very non classy borat mug " wear mask...save live" He loved it...was an in joke.

@Retiremental

Creme de menthe

Have you never had alcoholic mint hot choc?

A few years ago a red ‘panic’ button and a handbag mirror. I’m still not sure if it was meant to be funny, or a comment on my stress handling ability and vanity (or lack of!).
Such a waste of money on plastic tat!

@DreamingofGinoclock

The worst I've ever had was a salad spinner ...I was actually quite upset that someone at work thought I was that boring that I would be happy with a salad spinner

I'm not laughing. Okay, I am. Sorry.

Why would anyone think a salad spinner constituted a gift, in the first place.
Definitely one to be opened with 'you shouldn't have...you REALLY shouldn't have'...

Christmas socks. I just wondered why the person thought I would like or appreciate them. I don't think of myself as a Christmas socks person, but maybe that's the image I portray Anyway, luckily they were from M&S, so I took them back and got a fiver. The SS amount that year was £10...

A previous workplace banned secret santa. We'd always done it and had a mix of funny or nice presents. One year there had been a bullying problem that management hadn't done anything about, largely because it was verbal bullying done in a language other than English, so management didn't understand anything being said. (also managemenr were cliquey bullies themselves).

Anyway, one of the bullies got the victim for ss. And gave a fake plastic poo in a massive gift bag. Poor victim hid the gift but was distraught. I gave her mine instead.

I was on a special project at work one Christmas, we did secret Santa I got two presents, a John Lewis tinned Christmas cake and a pack of thongs, here's looking at you Mick Fletcher

These days work SS is a potential minefield unless there are clear rules. Went to a Xmas social party once with a ss where you bought a gift for a £5, wrapped it and then it was a lucky dip. A guest who hadn't been to the event before was very vocal about her gift and how shit it was. She was jealous that someone had had a mini bottle of prosecco. She made so much fuss that the person swapped with her just to shut her up.

The grossly under spent is worse than a last minute supermarket voucher. I think I'd like creme de menthe hot chocolate

My worst was a Michael Buble calendar. I don't really like him and it was a highly impractical calendar format, but it was the poor production value of the calendar that pissed me off and made it unusable! It was a budget secret Santa but there are just much better things in the pound shop.

I was gutted for my son one year. First job and he put a real effort into his offering - a vinyl LP for his boss who collected them.
In return , not from his boss, he got a wheely bin pen holder filled with pens. He felt humiliated as he said one of his jobs was to deal with confidential shredding in a special container.
I was so annoyed on his behalf. I know he is my precious son only ! But felt it was unkind of older staff to be so insensitive . Dont they remember their first job ?

A packet of KP honey roast peanuts as a joke after I had gone into anaphylactic shock on the office floor a month previously from a mistaken granola bar.

I organised a work Secret Santa once. Someone told me the day before the present exchange that they hadn't bought their SS a present and wasn't coming in until the new year so I had to fork out for an extra one because I didn't want anyone to be left without a present, another person got angry at me because they didn't get a present even though they didn't reply to any of my emails about SS or use the sign up sheet or get anyone else a present, the two people I got presents for complained to everyone how shit their present was (large amount of chocolate WHILST THEY WERE PIGGING IT DOWN) and to top it off, whoever my SS was didn't buy me a present so I stood there awkwardly at the end trying to pretend the whole thing hadn't made me want to stab my eyes out! Since then I don't take part in work SS even if someone else is organising it.

Not a gift, rather a lack of gift. For two consecutive years at work, my secret santa accidentally bought for someone else and I was left as the only one with nothing in front of the whole department.

It was empty and is now the dust catcher that gets pulled out when my nana visits.
There was a $50 limit. I got the empty parrot off her shelf.

Oh I also once got a book on “Tractor pulling” (which is some sort of motor sport involving tractors pulling heavy shit) which is just what I never wanted.

The only time I helped organise one, it ended up being a bit rigged but in a good way! We included a colleague on mat leave who was still coming to the staff do. She'd gone off in May and we had xmas temps & some new starters who didn't know her- plus young work force (retail). The newbie kids kept putting her name back in the jar so I asked someone who was kind and knew her better to pick her out- which they did happily because she was nice to buy for. I picked on behalf of mat leave colleague and picked my own name out 3 times. She was happy to have me (I offered to pick again) because she knew me. She also didn't have time to find me an item that fit with the stationery theme- so I got a huuuuuuge lindor bon bon which I much preferred!

The year before that we did mugs. I luckily managed to talk someone new out of giving someone else a mug with a picture of Grace Kelly on it, saying "everything is going exactly to plan". The lady she was buying for was beautiful and put together and a star at work which is why the GK mug was thought of, but -unbeknownst to the newbie her husband had recently walked out, she had two very small boys and no money, was about to lose her home and routinely came in and cried in the office, the loo, the stockroom. It was incredibly well intentioned but would have been very upsetting and I couldn't just let it happen once I knew what the planned (but luckily not bought yet) gift was.

We always filled a Christmas mug with treats in Nov and handed to friends 1st Dec.
Was amazed at how well received it was as a gift, to the point it became a Secret Santa round Robbin.

The way to win at SS is to be the organiser. Just don’t put your own name into the draw. Buy yourself something you want and add it to the SS gift pile (make sure no one sees you).

My favourite one was the most impressive looking hardback from the £1 section of a local second hand book shop (a poetry concordance I believe). I cut out a section from the pages within to make space for a selection of miniatures

I'd have preferred an unbutchered book.

Another one was a reasonable gift but I wrapped it in plastic and then coated it in about 30 layers of brown paper, each coated in PVA glue. After about a week's drying it was like being encapsulated in a solid wood block. I had to offer the use of knife to get into it

That would have gone into the bin.

For far too many years, Secret Santa was the only present I would receive. When that was coupled with being absolutely, barely making the rent, council tax and travel to work, never mind eating, skint, somebody chucking a Body Shop/Bayliss and Harding gift set in my direction really made me happy.

People pissing around with cheap, insulting shit or trying to be clever just upset me.

@ithinkyouareveryrude that’s awful.

I once got a pair of cheap nasty black leggings from peacocks. I don’t wear leggings, no idea why.

Last year, one of my secret santa gifts from FIL was a phone case with a picture of the anonymous mask (google it) on the back. I was very and had to act all delighted. Not sure why on earth he thought I would want to walk around sporting that monstrosity. Never even watched 'V for Vendetta' either.

I can safely say, I have no idea what happened to it think it got left somewhere at their house thank god

When I was at uni I got one of my professors, a lady that every day would eat 2 bananas. I looked for something banana related and found a case for a banana I wasn’t at the dinner when gifts were exchanged but apparently everyone thought it was a sex toy. It’s similar to the picture attached, i was so proud to have found such a personal and practical gift.

@Iamneverfull

My partner just got a £10 gift voucher towards a family photo shoot (hates having his photo taken) but the minimum spend is £155 so we now feel obliged to do the photo shoot that we can't really afford!

Of course you are not obliged to do anything of the sort! It's not a thoughtful gift, just bin it.

This thread just confirms that I've been right to always refuse to take part in work secret santa, no matter how much the organiser begs. Spend time and money hunting down a present for someone I barely know, and in return get plastic tat or worse?

Why do you all do this?

A cocktail recipe book when I was four months pregnant.