Fuck it. Let’s have a ‘Shit Secret Santa’ thread.

[Retiremental]

Mine hit a new low spot this year with Bayliss and fucking Harding

Drivethru exactly what I hoped I'd have cone. Well done! And what a knob(pun intended).

I got a Sainsbury’s voucher in a work SS with the receipt showing it had been bought 5 minutes before - our office was next to Sainsbury’s!

My husband has had a sparkly men’s thong on two separate occasions - I’m not sure if that says more about them or him 🤣😳

One year we had a "buy something funny" theme and I got my colleague a plain white mug that says "I'm a twat" on the bottom and a "while you were out" pad that instead said "While you were out this [insult, such as 'absolute prick' and 'annoying cunt' called]".

Hilarity all round until the mug stayed at work and our corporate director was served coffee in it in a meeting my colleague also got told off for the note pad as it offended his manager

I don't do secret Santa anymore, mainly for environmental reasons but also because over the last few years I got a sex toy kit (that was way over the £10 budget and frankly quite scary wondering who it was from!) and a cliff richard calendar! My office think I'm grinch but these days I buy something nice for myself with my tenner.

My worst ever secret Santa was when I was a brownie, mainly moons ago. We had a very small budget, I bought a box of malteasers - generally seemed the thing most people got. I got a weird pub sign , I was gutted and felt really stupid. I've disliked them ever since

I haven't worked for years (SAHM) and this Christmas id been in my new job for a few months. I was dreading SS, but felt I needed to do it as the new girl. Was worried as whilst I love most things, I'm tee total, have a nut allergy and am vegetarian , so quite tricky to get it right. Luckily my gifter bought me a scarf (vegan!!) and my faith was restored

I got bayliss and Harding this year too, only it’s using a different name - fuzzy duck, by bayliss and Harding. And it’s a mini set. The past couple of years I’ve had lovely presents, which balance it out I guess.

Two of ours didn’t bother turning up to the gift exchange ...

The rest of us actually got quite good presents! (Apart from the bloke who got a box of quality st, when everyone else managed to actually spend the £10)

I can't believe people have done Zoom secret santa

Not my gift, but I was implicated anyway.

We have a very part time colleague who has struggled to find her feet in the tearoom due to her habit of making grotesquely provocative and racist comments, which I call her out on quite vocally because I don't want to eat lunch while she bangs on about what a great idea concentration camps are, or whatever. I've also been sucked into a few Brexit arguments with her (she's pro, I'm against). If she keeps the conversation to neutral topics (there are three: her cats, her incredible talents, and how great her house is compared to everybody else's) we make a big effort to make her feel welcome. Because we're nice. Most of us...

Anyway one colleague who likes to stir decided to give her a mug that said BREXSHIT and then implied that it was from me. Poor recipient is obviously desperately insecure otherwise she wouldn't be such a pain in the arse, and you could tell it was crushing. I knew who it was from, but the boss didn't, and assumed it was me (because I'm not afraid of a political discussion - but also I'm not nasty about it) and decided to have a word about it. In the end I was forced to grass up the actual donor of the mug, which I would rather not have had to do, but the alternative was taking the bollocking myself.

FYI i really think you can't go wrong with scratchcards for Secret Santa. Not a big burden for landfill, thrilling to scratch, and potentially a very big win.

DNeice received a packet of cable ties one year.
She doesn't do any DIY or gardening (or bondage as far as I know).

This is why I don't do Secret Santa, some of these are hilarious! I always used to spend a lot of time and money on finding something thoughtful but would get shit in return.

About three years ago I ogot a ‘Scenic Britain’ calendar from a younger colleague. I didn’t realise who it was from and she leaned over my desk to pretend ’ask’ what I’d got. I replied ‘something for an old person!’ I’m not even sorry. I always put a fair bit of time and effort into SS gifts and was SO pissed off at getting a crappy £5 calendar.

@eeek88

FYI i really think you can't go wrong with scratchcards for Secret Santa. Not a big burden for landfill, thrilling to scratch, and potentially a very big win.

? Secret gambling addict

One year I got a big pink plastic Justin Beiber clock?? No idea why ! Another year the director got my name and gave me a large heavy wrapped gift. I was excited but that was squashed quickly when I opened the car cleaning kit clearly bought at the garage on the way in that day

@GlummyMcGlummerson
I just read this thread, and Chris is my new hero!
Next time you chat to him, tell him he just made my day

Not me but my DH once got a pair of kids Christmas socks. We didn't have children yet. He wouldn't let me take them to the charity shop and so they stayed in one of his desk drawers for the whole year before I gave them to a neighbours young child as part of their Christmas fayre collection for school.

The worlds ugliest jug shaped like a parrot that once contained creme de menthe from my nana.

@glas14368 it was £5.99 from amazon.

@glas14368 it has only recently been reduced to £5.68. I thought it was nice.

@glas14368 missed other people also saw the cat on amazon, must be a popular gift

Creme de menthe

I dont have an issue with secret santa as a concept. My problem is with people who agree to a budget and then go massively under it. It is never fair for one person to spend £20 and another to spend £5. That defeats the entire point.

There is a lot of handwringing on this thread about people being "ungrateful" etc, but the majority of disappointment in their stories seems to stem from the inability of others to spend the right amount.

I would be over the moon with bayliss and harding. Will prob get bullied off mn for this controversial view.