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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think more MC women should try dating WC men

351 replies

CrotchBurn · 20/12/2020 05:46

Just realised the two happiest relationships I've had have been with working class guys. This shows my prejudice but: both were actually way less misogynistic than the MC men I went out with.

I've been with my partner who is WC for five years now. Sometimes its uncomfortable as we clash on things that we hadnt realised were pretty basic for both of us but by and large I find him much more interesting, insightful and crucially less bigoted than some of the sanctimonious pricks I've dated before, who would have a lot of "theory" but actually in practice lived in quite tight bubbles that made them prejudiced without realising it.

I feel freer with my current partner, and although he can do some "alright alright" style stuff like slapping my ass 😂 I think he is much more of an actual feminist in his actions than some of the self proclaimed "feminist" men I know who are also selfish, manipulative, and gaslighting.

Also he is very house proud (I see that as quite a working class thing) and does all the cleaning - and he takes it seriously. Meanwhile I am the higher earner and do all the cooking as I was brought up to experiment with food whereas he wasnt.

Plus - its sexy going out with a man who can build and fix stuff and repair cars and does boxing. He is a non violent person but I know if there was an apocalypse or we were attacked in the street he would sort it out.

Oh and another thing which I consider to be quite a WC thing: he always knows someone who knows someone who can get us what we need/do what we need doing as a favour.

Basically: I know it's kind of "taboo" to tall about it but AIBU to think that maybe a lot of middle class women would be happier with working class men?

OP posts:
Kaliorphic · 20/12/2020 10:48

NaughtipussMaximus. Your experience was the same as mine. And pretty much the same reasons why I chose at the time to only go out with men who were educated.

Maireas · 20/12/2020 10:50

@wannabebetter- "sorry to the PC brigade" - what does that even mean?
It's extreme political correctness to challenge social stereotypes?

formerbabe · 20/12/2020 10:50

Oh and intelligence is little to do with class. I know loads of mc thickos

SomewhereInbetween1 · 20/12/2020 10:51

Fuck me, this is the most sexist, classist prejudicial bullshit I've read on here in quite some time.

ghostmous3 · 20/12/2020 10:52

I dont know if you have a some valid points are not.

There are plenty of WC men who are absolute dicks, cant cook, clean, cant drive, expect thier partners to run round after them, cant diy or fix things. I was in a relationship with one for years.

I also know a few MC men who can do all these things

My own experience. I'm from a lower middle class background. My dp is what youd class working class and he is one of those who pulls his weight, can cook, fixes his cars or what he can anyway, fixes other things, put shelves up etc and treats women as an equal.
He doesnt box and has never slapped my arse

Personally I just think hes a good man regardless of class

middleager · 20/12/2020 10:53

@SomewhereInbetween1

Fuck me, this is the most sexist, classist prejudicial bullshit I've read on here in quite some time.
Agreed!
formerbabe · 20/12/2020 10:54

My friend is with a man who can't put together flat pack furniture...i couldn't lay down with a man like that.

Maireas · 20/12/2020 10:54

@SomewhereInbetween1 - careful, you'll be accused of political correctness gone mad! Xmas Grin

Maireas · 20/12/2020 10:55

@formerbabe - you'd have to make your bed before you lay in it.

rollinggreenhills · 20/12/2020 10:55

Whenever I've fallen for someone, it hasn't had anything to do with their social background.

Unlike many people, class has no bearing on the matter. I'm not that shallow.

user1471565182 · 20/12/2020 10:56

Does he call you 'pwincess'?

TheRubyRedshoes · 20/12/2020 10:56

I like diversification,so a South London accent but some refinement.

I dislike one dimensional types, rugger shirts, samey background to their dp etc no openness.

Dh isn't like this but as an example, his dp actively kept him away from a whole section of society so it was a massive shock for him to be in a van, doing temp work going all over London with tradespeople. The language, manner, conversation, he said was all a shock for him. That's how sheltered some people can be.
Df was extremely working class but grammar school,became professional but absolutely reasonably handy with DIY, self care... As well as being open minded and educated.

I don't mind anyone wherever they are from but I like open minded people willing to change their view. I dislike entrenched thinkers tied to a religion or political party to a tribal degree.. But

formerbabe · 20/12/2020 10:56

[quote Maireas]@formerbabe - you'd have to make your bed before you lay in it.[/quote]
That's fine...id rather spend my whole life doing housework than be with a man who can't fix shit round the house.

My friends mc husbands all love cooking yet can't couldn't fix the washing machine if their life depended on it.

Would not be for me.

user1471565182 · 20/12/2020 10:58

Yeah I wondered about the 'PC' comment. Cant really see whats PC about cringing at a load of people stealth boasting about how authentic and earthy they are.

Hollowgast · 20/12/2020 11:01

I'm a MC man and I can mend the fuck out of shit

Billben · 20/12/2020 11:02

Plus - its sexy going out with a man who can build and fix stuff and repair cars and does boxing.

What an idiotic comment 😂 My DH can do all this (and more) and he isn’t WC by any means 🙄

ghostmous3 · 20/12/2020 11:03

We all secretly love a bit of rough

Nothing rough about my dp!

Dresses well, speaks well, has an open enquiring mind, passionate about things and isnt violent. Doesnt smoke and rarely drinks. Loves football though.

You can tell this is mumsnet! Full of middle class people living middle class lives

M4J4 · 20/12/2020 11:03

Us proles just grunt and point like Stig of the Dump. And smack peoples’ arses for emphasis.

😂

formerbabe · 20/12/2020 11:03

Anyway, he's super intelligent, has a great job/career..and can fix shit, perfect combo for me..

other plus sides, he doesn't play guitar, ride a bike, bake cakes.

We're all different in what we like

Billben · 20/12/2020 11:03

[quote Maireas]@formerbabe - you'd have to make your bed before you lay in it.[/quote]
😂

sashagabadon · 20/12/2020 11:03

@Hollowgast

I'm a MC man and I can mend the fuck out of shit
Grin
Kaliorphic · 20/12/2020 11:04

I suppose back in the 90s there was a rise of WC people who didn't do well at school, realised their mistake after doing crap jobs for a while and did A levels part time in order to get the points to get into uni. So that they could get reasonably decent jobs. And the people who didn't do that where I lived mocked me for that. I think that's why I would only go for people who were educated. Uni is so different now though, so many people go but not for any real purpose. And so often the degrees they do are meaningless. The rise of no platforming etc has really put me off university unless it's for degrees that lead straight to proper jobs, or the proper traditional subjects such as maths and sciences. I think actually that's why I've had a change of heart about it all.

formerbabe · 20/12/2020 11:05

Despite my mc upbringing, I am not at all mc. I wear too much make up, love a hoop earring, am a bit fat and enjoy retail parks rather than artisan delis. People are usually amazed to hear I went to private school and have a degree.

Maireas · 20/12/2020 11:06

we all like a bit of rough
Not me, I like nerdy types with glasses.
It would be very dull if we were all the same.

Barmyfarmy · 20/12/2020 11:07

The class system is a joke. My husband was a tattoo artist, but on paper you'd think he was middle-upper class because of his income. He always knew how to fix and build things, was humble, house proud, did the cleaning even when I was living at his and not working. He fixed cars, bought second hand items. Now we live in a farm and have a high income so on paper would be middle-upper class, but the work is hard, physical, manual labour?

The class system makes no sense, it's very rare that anyone fits into any class, and the stereotypes that come with each class are ridiculous too. People think class is judged on money and upbringing but often they don't align. I was brought up in a low income household but now live in a high-income household. Where does that place me? I'm not posh or a tory, my car is 26 years old, my kids wear second hand clothes. Classes don't work in this modern world anymore

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