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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think more MC women should try dating WC men

351 replies

CrotchBurn · 20/12/2020 05:46

Just realised the two happiest relationships I've had have been with working class guys. This shows my prejudice but: both were actually way less misogynistic than the MC men I went out with.

I've been with my partner who is WC for five years now. Sometimes its uncomfortable as we clash on things that we hadnt realised were pretty basic for both of us but by and large I find him much more interesting, insightful and crucially less bigoted than some of the sanctimonious pricks I've dated before, who would have a lot of "theory" but actually in practice lived in quite tight bubbles that made them prejudiced without realising it.

I feel freer with my current partner, and although he can do some "alright alright" style stuff like slapping my ass 😂 I think he is much more of an actual feminist in his actions than some of the self proclaimed "feminist" men I know who are also selfish, manipulative, and gaslighting.

Also he is very house proud (I see that as quite a working class thing) and does all the cleaning - and he takes it seriously. Meanwhile I am the higher earner and do all the cooking as I was brought up to experiment with food whereas he wasnt.

Plus - its sexy going out with a man who can build and fix stuff and repair cars and does boxing. He is a non violent person but I know if there was an apocalypse or we were attacked in the street he would sort it out.

Oh and another thing which I consider to be quite a WC thing: he always knows someone who knows someone who can get us what we need/do what we need doing as a favour.

Basically: I know it's kind of "taboo" to tall about it but AIBU to think that maybe a lot of middle class women would be happier with working class men?

OP posts:
berrygirlie · 20/12/2020 10:00

We all secretly love a bit of rough.

Only if you're imagining the likes of Tom Hardy, I think Grin

ithinkyouareveryrude · 20/12/2020 10:00

@Badbackbernie

Aw the princess and the pauper - love it Grin
Please let that be aarcasm
ithinkyouareveryrude · 20/12/2020 10:00

Sarcasm*

ReallySpicyCurry · 20/12/2020 10:04

I'm kind of cringing at your opening post but I do think you have a point.

I've found WC men from certain areas/backgrounds to be a lot more respectful of women and to have a greater appreciation of what women do regarding housework/childcare. I can't speak for everywhere but some of the WC areas I know of were and are pretty matriarchal, and full of tiny, four foot nothing women, who were and are sick of their men folk's collective shit.

Obviously mass generalisation etc etc but it's a trend I've noticed.

Also (again, personal anecdotes abound here) WC women are more likely to publicly shame a bloke into good behaviour whereas I think MC women can be a bit embarrassed over it and won't yell at him to fuck off out the back door, before informing the whole street, his mother, and all his sisters of the exact reasons why he should do so.

UntamedWisteria · 20/12/2020 10:07

Never read such a load of tosh in my life.

Rife with absurd generalisations.

ReallySpicyCurry · 20/12/2020 10:10

But then again that's maybe just my area.

We're WC but both went to a good uni, are still skint and working jobs that we don't need degrees for thanks to shit personal choices and the recession in 07, earn less than the average family income, are home owners, and have one car which DH can't drive but I can so fuck knows what we are these days anyway

user1471565182 · 20/12/2020 10:14

People's idea of working class on here sounds like its comes from a DH Lawrence novel. The cringe is too much to take.

CodenameVillanelle · 20/12/2020 10:15

@CrotchBurn

Just realised the two happiest relationships I've had have been with working class guys. This shows my prejudice but: both were actually way less misogynistic than the MC men I went out with.

I've been with my partner who is WC for five years now. Sometimes its uncomfortable as we clash on things that we hadnt realised were pretty basic for both of us but by and large I find him much more interesting, insightful and crucially less bigoted than some of the sanctimonious pricks I've dated before, who would have a lot of "theory" but actually in practice lived in quite tight bubbles that made them prejudiced without realising it.

I feel freer with my current partner, and although he can do some "alright alright" style stuff like slapping my ass 😂 I think he is much more of an actual feminist in his actions than some of the self proclaimed "feminist" men I know who are also selfish, manipulative, and gaslighting.

Also he is very house proud (I see that as quite a working class thing) and does all the cleaning - and he takes it seriously. Meanwhile I am the higher earner and do all the cooking as I was brought up to experiment with food whereas he wasnt.

Plus - its sexy going out with a man who can build and fix stuff and repair cars and does boxing. He is a non violent person but I know if there was an apocalypse or we were attacked in the street he would sort it out.

Oh and another thing which I consider to be quite a WC thing: he always knows someone who knows someone who can get us what we need/do what we need doing as a favour.

Basically: I know it's kind of "taboo" to tall about it but AIBU to think that maybe a lot of middle class women would be happier with working class men?

I might not be your target audience as my two significant relationships in the past were with a WC man and a foreign man but my current boyfriend is WC and sounds just like yours and i think he's amazing. I love how intelligent he is and how he puts his hand to anything without worrying he won't be able to do it, and his knowledge and intellectual curiosity is innate not bred into him. But I haven't read the thread so I'll probably find I'm a dreadful snob for agreeing with you Grin
Cherrytangfastic · 20/12/2020 10:21

I know it's bad to talk about it and involves many stereotypes etc.

However, I'm from a WC background originally and know what you mean!

When I've had relationships with WC men I've felt far more equal and respected in the relationship as a woman, they're far more handy/clean etc.

The MC men have been far more sexist and power mad in general (though they don't realise), too good for wife work/DIY/anything in general.

My upbringing was based on a huge amount respect for others, great manners and looking after what little you have.

Where I was raised was an area of largely single working mothers (including my own). My male friends from home really are the most respectful, hard working and kind men. I think it's because they genuinely respected mum and always helped out when they could. The family unit is more of a team than a parent/child relationship. Makes me miss home!

goodwinter · 20/12/2020 10:24

🎵Rent a flat above a shop
Cut your hair and get a job
Smoke some fags and play some pool
Pretend you never went to school
But still you'll never get it right
'Cause when you're laid in bed at night
Watching roaches climb the wall
If you called your dad he could stop it all, yeah🎶

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 20/12/2020 10:24

Well I better let DP know there is a MC class woman out there who needs him more than us then. Good job I can do a lot of DIY etc myself eh?

goodwinter · 20/12/2020 10:25

Would like to add I'm working class and pretty insulted by some of the generalisations here. "Bit of rough" indeed Hmm

berrygirlie · 20/12/2020 10:28

YOU'LL NEVER LIVE LIKE COMMON PEOPLE
YOU'LL NEVER DO WHATEVER COMMON PEOPLE DO
YOU'LL NEVER FAIL LIKE COMMON PEOPLE
YOU'LL NEVER WATCH YOUR LIFE SLIDE OUT OF VIEW
AND DANCE AND DRINK AND SCREW
BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO DOOOOOOO

(sorry bloody love that song @goodwinter)

JohnMcClane · 20/12/2020 10:32

Laugh along with the common people
Laugh along even though they're laughing at you
And the stupid things that you do
Because you think that poor is cool.

I concur @berrygirlie and @goodwinter

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 20/12/2020 10:32

@goodwinter

Would like to add I'm working class and pretty insulted by some of the generalisations here. "Bit of rough" indeed Hmm
Me too, couldn't really put my finger on why though.
berrygirlie · 20/12/2020 10:34

Well that's cheered my morning up, @JohnMcClane!
as Pulp usually does

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 20/12/2020 10:35

Well I could put my finger on why, I just can't really find the words to describe it without being insulting back

formerbabe · 20/12/2020 10:35

Very interesting thread. I'm middle class, very mc upbringing, private school. I have never dated a mc man. They do not appeal to me at all. I also generally find them more misogynistic but in a subtler way...very much a wolf in sheep's clothing. My dh may call me a bird but he's actually very respectful of women. I know a woman who dated a very woke mc guy who treated her like shit and was so disrespectful deep down.

berrygirlie · 20/12/2020 10:36

Well I could put my finger on why, I just can't really find the words to describe it without being insulting back

As a middle class person I think it would be apt to describe some of it as "privileged bollocks". There, I did it for you Grin

wannabebetter · 20/12/2020 10:38

Op I have to agree (sorry to the pc brigade!). I adore my DH (builder) and feel completely safe - perfect on a desert island kind of thing plus drop dead gorgeous, respectful & a clean freak! He mildly mocks my lot being v mc (not in a nasty way) however DS must have got their genes as v academic and completely cack handed!!

ByGrabtharsHammerWhatASavings · 20/12/2020 10:40

Did anyone else read this thread with "uptown girl" playing in their heads?

middleager · 20/12/2020 10:40

YABU with this cringey thread.

user1471565182 · 20/12/2020 10:41

Hang on are you that one who kept throwing money at psychics to try and make the builder over the road love you, op?

formerbabe · 20/12/2020 10:43

I live in a very diverse, slightly gentrified area and often look at some of the mc men and find them so unattractive. I wonder how some women can date such meek looking dull men. I like a man who if I was walking down the street with him, no one would dare to mug me. As for posh accents, shudder... My dh is old school and I never have to take the car to the garage myself or speak directly to tradesmen...suits me!

formerbabe · 20/12/2020 10:45

Oh and not because I'm too delicate or posh to talk to tradesmen but because he sees it very much his job as the man to deal with that stuff.