To ask how you talk to the elderly?

[malificent7]

Do you talk to them gently using language like ' dear', 'lovely', or do you talk to them. "normally " as you would to an adult of your own age? Does this change if they are infirm? Cannot elaborate as outing.

I own a care agency. I talk to them normally like any other colleague. To do otherwise would be patronizing and rude.

I talk to them just as I would any other adult. I can't bear love, dear etc, it's so patronising it makes me cringe when I here others do it.

Hear

I talk to older people normally.

Normally. As a woman I get the rage when o get "babe"d, "love"d and "darling"d, so I am sure old people who are used to being spoken to with respect don't enjoy being infantilised.

I'm old. Some young woman called me 'love' last week.
So rude.

I talk to them normally.

some young woman called me love last week. So rude

In some areas everyone calls everyone love. Nothing to do with age. In my hometown everyone says “duck” as in “alright duck? Want a cup of tea duck?” Doesn’t matter if you are 10 or 90!

I have just been told at work that i should talk differently to the elderly than i would to a young man...eg use endearments and a soft voice.
Having done a research essay on. " elderspeak" I discovered that using this kind of speak leaves older people feeling patronised.

like i would talk to anyone else - older people are just people. I dont address people my age as "lovey" or "dear" so why would i do it to people 20 years older than me? If its in a work capacity, I address them as Mr/Mrs/Miss surname the way I would anyone else. I only use their first name if they say it's OK.

both my parents are in their 70s and very fed up of being patronised

I work in a care home with mainly elderly residents. I talk to them normally, although I do adjust how I talk depending on the individual. I’m not a “love” or “sweetheart” kind of person so addressing anyone like that wouldn’t come naturally to me. It does to some people though and is just their way so I’m never offended if I’m addressed like that by residents or by friends or strangers my own age.

Aaah, bless ...

I talk to them normally, you can be an old genius, arsehole, nasty, nice. I wouldn't switch to deary and luv because of age. What i would do is talk louder or lean in closer to their ears precovid if they are struggling to hear.

@malificent7

I have just been told at work that i should talk differently to the elderly than i would to a young man...eg use endearments and a soft voice. Having done a research essay on. " elderspeak" I discovered that using this kind of speak leaves older people feeling patronised.

Yeah...Its extremely grim and rude. Educate whoever told you that

I’m old. When someone addresses me as ‘young lady’ it gives me the rage. So patronising.

Ooh I can’t bear this. Also ‘ah bless’ when you state an older person’s needs etc.

Normally. Why on earth wouldn't you?

Normally, although I would try to speak clearly in case they have hearing loss.

Erm normally, tbf I don't do toddler or small child 'speak' either. If someone is hard of hearing I might adjust the volume and slow my rate down but the tone of my voice stays the same. Surely anything else would be patronising?

Just like a normal adult in terms of tone. But would be conscious of being a but louder only if they seemed like they had hearing issues. Wouldn't use dear etc. Its patronising, they're old not stupid.

I talk to all adults the same way.

This depends on context. In a care setting, it might, depending on the individual, be appropriate to use more affectionate or familiar language. You should never automatically use elder speak, but equally you should be aware that there are some circumstances when it is appropriate.

Are you a healthcare trainee? If this is a professional giving you feedback, I'd suggest they're telling you to be more respectful, rather than suggesting you patronise them.

Talk to them like an adult, I hate "love and dear"

Normally. They’re adult people, why wouldn’t I speak to them normally?

I work in care and I tell colleagues off if they baby talk residents.

Normally - perhaps a bit louder if I was aware of any hearing issues.
Anything else is patronising and rude surely?