To ask how you talk to the elderly?

[malificent7]

Do you talk to them gently using language like ' dear', 'lovely', or do you talk to them. "normally " as you would to an adult of your own age? Does this change if they are infirm? Cannot elaborate as outing.

Without trying to be goady, I'd start by not using 'the elderly', which is a patronising phrase in itself and lumps all older people together.

I treat each as an individual. My aunt is 95 and has an utterly brilliant mind: incisive, passionate, highly political and far more clued-up than I'll ever be. If I called her 'dear' or 'love', I'd never hear the end of it! Some older people might have hearing difficulties that would require slower/louder speech, or cognitive decline. It's impossible to make a blanket statement, but respect and responsiveness are key.

Obviously I talk to them loudly, slowly, and in vocabulary a toddler would understand.

Normally. I would never speak to anyone in that patronising way. I think lots of people talk to children in an unnecessarily patronising way too.

I just call him Dad.

Can you give an indication of when 'elderly' starts?

They're no different to anyone else so talk to them as you would anyone else. I worked with a lot of older adults as my job as an Occupational Therapist (note worked with, not assisted them if that makes sense). I see them as young people with experience and as I get older I'm understanding this more and more for my own personal reasons, lol. I've worked with a retired lady Dr who put the first baby in the bubble, people who've been in the concentration camps, the life long housewife, the coal miner etc. They're no different from a working age adult. And some of the stories I've heard...

I used to work in a hospice so lots of older people. Talked to them the same as anyone else - maybe a bit louder if they told me they were hard of hearing lol.

I am very respectful and call the men Sir which some dont like so i adjust accordingly.

It depends if they have any issues with hearing, vision, cognition etc

If I know they have no communication problems I would speak in the same way I would speak to any other adult

If I know or suspect they struggle with hearing or cognition I will slow down and try to ensure my voice is clear and make extra effort to avoid jargon

I talk to them as I would anyone else. Sometimes a little louder if they have hearing difficulties. I certainly don't want to be patronised when I'm elderly so I'm sure they don't either.

Normally, they aren't a separate species. In the case of my late DGF loudly, he always used to complain the young uns spoke too softly.

I talk normally. Until they complain I'm mumbling.

I deal with a lot of older people on the phone in my job as a GP medical secretary. I speak to them as I would anyone else and if it becomes obvious that they’re hard of hearing, I’ll speak a bit louder.

Why do you even need to ask OP? I find your post a tad offensive TBH.

speak normally but most older people have a degree of hearing loss some profoundly so, in a care setting especially but alos in general make sure their hearing aids are in and on especially if conveying important information don't patronise people can be thought of as senile for making wrong responses when actually they either didn;t hear or misheard
mask wearing makes it particularily difficult for deaf people as they rely on facial expressions and maybe lip reading

for some people with dementia it is important to be directly clear and not use analogies or similies ie cool as a cucumber

my father is 97 he doesn't want to be called dear luv or even "harry" ( not his real name) by randoms if you don't know him call him Mr X or Henry X if he is fine been called Harry he will let you know but don't presume lots of the elderly don't like over familiarity by new people much younger than themselves, he is deaf but not stupid he might need you to repeat yourself but he doesn't need anything explaining in words of one syllable

Having done a research essay on. " elderspeak" ....

Surely 'elderspeak' is itself a patronising term, since it seems to presume that elderly people should be spoken to differently from how you'd speak to anyone else?

Adult to adult, nobody needs to be spoken to like a baby just because they've reached a good age, my Gran was a formidable lady and I would have got a good tongue lashing if I'd spoken to her like a child or called her lovey or dearie. I did not call an ex WAAF officer lovey or I would still be reeling from her reply even now, four years after her death.
.

I work with lots of older people (service users for want of a better term, not colleagues). I address them as Mr/Miss/Mrs Surname unless they say otherwise. I’d never dream of calling them ‘dear’ or ‘love’ or anything like that. I do tailor my vocabulary sometimes when explaining something, but it depends on the individual and I take my lead from them and their understanding of what I’m on about. Many of them are more intelligent and knowledgeable than me and I’d hate to insult any older person by assuming they need me to dumb down my language or expect glib terms of endearment.

Slowly and loudly - just as one speaks to people abroad.

The “elderly” are not a homogenous blob of deaf, demented, incontinent subhumans who need patronising by health care workers!
When I was a hospital doctor, my elderly patients included a fighter pilot from the Battle of Britain, a peer of the realm, several retired professors and doctors (some of whom had taught me as a medical student), and a senior retired journalist from the Times - do you seriously think I should have “baby talked” such people?
I can imagine their reaction if I had!
If an elderly patient had special needs, such as severe dementia, then I adapted my approach accordingly. But if you try patronising the average older person, you will deservedly get a very frosty response!

My 95 year old mum who's Irish, and when she was living in sheltered housing got disciplined by the manager for her language. It was reported to me and they me expected to have a word with her - I actually had a word with the manager for treating my mum like a naughty child but that's another thread.-

I asked my mum what happened and she told me they'd had a social activity and the local dignitaries were invited and one of them spoke to my mum very patronising tones and she told him to f**k off. He was shocked apparently that this little old dear would talk like this to him . Mum said to me "if he talks to me like I'm an eejit then what does he expect" - I thought you tell em, mum

Normally. They are just human after all, not some subspecies.

Loudly. My voice seems to be the exact pitch that peoples hearing starts to struggle with first.

Why do you even need to ask OP? I find your post a tad offensive TBH.

If you read the whole thread you will see that the OP has been given instruction to address older people in a soft voice and use endearments!

I, too am a medical secretary. I speak to them normally - like other PPs, louder and slower if they are hard of hearing (if they are with me in person rather than on the 'phone, I make sure I am looking at them when saying something in case they lip read as well - they definitely can't hear if you turn away or look down).

Otherwise, no reason to speak to them in any way differently from other people.

Well you have all confirmed my beliefs ....i just got told of for it though

@malificent7

I have just been told at work that i should talk differently to the elderly than i would to a young man...eg use endearments and a soft voice. Having done a research essay on. " elderspeak" I discovered that using this kind of speak leaves older people feeling patronised.

Your work are wrong. Talk to them like people. And don't use first names unless they have said you can.