Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that many people don't realise the Christmas bubbles of 3 households have to be the same for each of the 3 households?

178 replies

Planetzog · 18/12/2020 07:53

From conversations I've had, and from what I've read on here, I think there's still loads of (understandable) confusion around the Christmas bubble concept. So household A might be meeting 2 other households between 23rd and 27th, perhaps lunch with household B on Christmas day, then drinks with household C on Boxing Day. But while households B and C both count A as one of their households, they don't know each other and have a different third household each - D and E. Sorry, complicated but can't think of a clearer way of describing what I mean.
Anyway, my point is that the repercussions of Christmas could end up being worse than expected as even more households get together over Christmas as they don't understand that the 3 households should be fixed? I've looked up the gov guidelines and they are not clear at all.

YABU - Everyone understands that Christmas bubbles are fixed with the same 3 households.

YANBU - People are choosing their own differing bubbles as described above.

OP posts:
MarthaWashingtonsFeralTomcat · 18/12/2020 13:40

I think the bubble rules are very clear but some people are choosing to interpret them to suit what they want to do.

Yep they are crystal clear but there's a lot of wilful ignorance around

Dobbyismyfavourite · 18/12/2020 13:48

I think the rules are clear but I'm banging my head against the wall trying to explain them to my MIL. Our rate of infection is soaring and we are doing everything we can to reduce risk. My teenager is doing nothing now school has broken up so MIL can come and stay for the Christmas window but apparently it is fine for my SIL to take MIL out to a busy regional shopping centre! Sigh, MIL is elderly, vulnerable and a widow but she is really not helping at the moment.

I'm actually getting to the point of saying sod Christmas but I don't think I can.

user89 · 18/12/2020 13:53

@Teakind

I think the bubble rules are very clear but some people are choosing to interpret them to suit what they want to do.
Absolutely agree with this
RedskyAtnight · 18/12/2020 13:56

It's difficult because you can't control what the others in your bubble do.

But you can have a conversation with them and check that they are not meeting anyone else, and refuse to bubble with them if they are.

If you think you are in a bubble with B and C, and C then goes off and sees D, that still means that you have broken the law.

Letmegoplease · 18/12/2020 13:58

I don’t know what the hell you are on about. I stopped listening to this circus that we call the “government” months ago.

SoCrimeaRiver · 18/12/2020 13:58

In the OP example, family A get to see two sets of family, but B and C only get to see one (A) presuming B and C don't know each other and have no interest in meeting each other. If I was B or C I'd "misunderstand" the rules too if it meant I could see D or E in preference to no-one other than A.

RedskyAtnight · 18/12/2020 14:04

@SoCrimeaRiver

In the OP example, family A get to see two sets of family, but B and C only get to see one (A) presuming B and C don't know each other and have no interest in meeting each other. If I was B or C I'd "misunderstand" the rules too if it meant I could see D or E in preference to no-one other than A.
That's basically an example of doing what you think is best and ignoring the law, surely?
ToffeePennie · 18/12/2020 14:11

We’ve done it “properly” so we will see my mum and dad who will not see anyone else, and my inlaws who will not see anyone else. The other option we have is to see my parents and not my inlaws as they may have to deal with my husbands grandma - who I am a carer for. So there might not be any slack in who see us this year as Grandma might need us more.

goose1964 · 18/12/2020 14:12

We're only going to see DD and her family, they'll also see their in-laws but it's really only going to be present exchange. As we're now in tier 2 in stepping up as childcare I'm going to be seeing DGS any.

Figgygal · 18/12/2020 14:18

Some of the examples here are gobsmacking
It’s not hard to understand people just don’t want to understand

SoCrimeaRiver · 18/12/2020 14:18

@RedskyAtnight I'd agree (we're family A only meeting family B) but I can empathise with B and C if they realise this set-up leaves them disadvantaged because they're not "lead" family A.

Figgygal · 18/12/2020 14:22

@Letmegoplease

I don’t know what the hell you are on about. I stopped listening to this circus that we call the “government” months ago.
Ignorance of the guidance fuels this bloody thing so well done you
tabulahrasa · 18/12/2020 14:22

@Confusedandshaken

I do find it confusing. I thought we could see SIL and her little ones for lunch on Christmas Day and then Boxing Day we could see my mum whilst SILs children see their dad. So I would mix with two households and SIL kids would mix with 2. But apparently not.

To be honest I would rather see no one at all rather than worry about social distancing within the home but I think whatever anyone does we are looking at a minimum of Tier 3 until March at least.

I’m pretty sure children going to their other parent just swap bubbles...

But, your SIL and your mum are then all in your bubble of 3 and they can’t mix with anyone else.

yvanka · 18/12/2020 14:22

The "experts" are pulling rules out of their arses and anyone sticking rigidly to them and chastising others for not paying attention is an idiot IMO.

BarbaraofSeville · 18/12/2020 14:26

@yvanka

The "experts" are pulling rules out of their arses and anyone sticking rigidly to them and chastising others for not paying attention is an idiot IMO.
In this case they're right about the rules (If family A see B and C then B and C can't see anyone else even if B and C don't see each other) but its clear that, yet again, no thought into the practicalities has been given when setting the rules.
BrieAndChilli · 18/12/2020 14:29

i think most people realise (even if they dont follow it) that you are supposed to mix with 3 households total over the christmas days but i do think some people dont realise that if eg parents are coming over and count as one of thier bubble then the parents cant then go and see someone else on boxing day. i think people think as long as they personally are only seeing 2 other households thats fine and dont realise it should be a closed triangle, not them as part of a chain

RedskyAtnight · 18/12/2020 14:33

[quote SoCrimeaRiver]@RedskyAtnight I'd agree (we're family A only meeting family B) but I can empathise with B and C if they realise this set-up leaves them disadvantaged because they're not "lead" family A.[/quote]
I'm family D in this scenario (my brother has chosen to form a bubble with our parents and his parents-in-law) so I also feel somewhat disadvantaged! But realise if I was to see my parents, that would just be a further transmission link, and therefore a bad idea. My parents think I am being ridiculous and it's therefore also caused some friction. Sigh.

MagicMatilda · 18/12/2020 14:40

More like people don’t care. People know the rules, if they follow them or not is another thing.

Boulshired · 18/12/2020 14:45

DS1 is in a shared private rental in uni of 12 people. They have all decided to go back at the same time in January to self isolate as the reckon that even following the rules their connections could be between 150 and 200. University areas are going to be a ticking time bomb. As once people relax for Christmas they are going to do the same for new year.

Beautifulbonnie · 18/12/2020 15:11

We’re not mixing any households at all over the holiday period. We don’t have kids in school. Nothing. So some people aren’t.

I would of thought it was 3 households over the period.

Gemma888 · 18/12/2020 15:16

It’s so clear “you can’t be in more than one bubble” - unless someone breaks that, you have to be exclusive the whole time m.

People are definitely hearing what they want to. Although I do think announcing changes very clearly from the start would help to remove some of that.

theinternetmakesmyeyesfeelsick · 18/12/2020 15:36

Please can somebody answer this one then.
I get that I can only see two of my three children as we make one bubble of three and none of us can mix with other one. OR my 3 children can form a bubble of three and see noone else.

But - if we/they form a bubble as per the guidelines I'm not sure if I understand whether or not we/they can meet people from another household OUTSIDE and socially distanced over the Christmas period.

Could we, for example, all meet on Christmas day on our local beach and see other that way which would be 4 households but not an exclusive bubble Confused

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 18/12/2020 15:44

@phoenixrosehere

Many people barely know what a meter is to social distance or how to wear a mask properly. I don’t trust people to not do what they please over Christmas. We are not seeing anyone. We rather miss this Christmas in hopes of being able to visit people in the Spring or Summer. We’re betting there will be a January lockdown and it will likely be another month or longer, vaccine or not.
I agree.

The rules are clear. People likely aren’t misinterpreting them but just doing as they please. The government should have said no mixing or at most one other household for Christmas Day only so no nebhad to be alone if they didn’t want to be.

user89 · 18/12/2020 15:55

2020 has show just how desperate some people are to be involved in everyone else's business. And as for the "well covid is everyone's business, if there;s not a hospital bed for you yadda yadda" - just give over with that. The blame game and trying to guilt trip people for catching a virus is ridiculous. Just stop it.

I disagree with this, I think it shows how frustrated some people are about people being so short sighted. The virus is everyone's business, transmission is everyone's business, people being reckless and doing whatever the hell they like because they've 'done their own risk assessment' is everyone's business, because while transmission is rife we are stuck in this nightmare and people will continue to lose jobs, and homes and businesses will continue to close, all because some fucking idiots can't see the bigger picture.

SpiderGwen · 18/12/2020 15:58

@EveryPlanetHasAYorkshire

Yeah...but who is going to know?
That's not the point, surely?

All of this is because of a contagious virus, so the more mixing you do, the more you risk spreading it. It's not about fines or reprimands, it's about keeping transmission down, not overwhelming the NHS's ability to treat people and, y'know, surviving this damned thing.