Panicking about my Christmas present piles

[Paddingtonjuice]

Having last minute panic attack about my children’s presents after wrapping tonight. I have got almost everything from my children’s lists. 13 year old has a huge pile because they haven’t asked for any wow present just things like collectible figures he likes and computer games. I may have overcompensated actually because of the lack of wow present.

10 year old has asked for a gaming laptop. I have spent twice as much on them than the 13 year old but their pile looks shit. How can I give 13 year old a huge pile when 10 year old comes downstairs to a small pile? I’ve got a remote control car, a few Nintendo figures and some chocolate to add to the laptop. Could you do this? My mum says no. My Dh says yes as he has a great present.

Personally I would wrap clues. What I mean is I would write maybe six clues in different formats (so one just in a card, one on a pebble, one on a piece of paper rolled up in a scroll). So basically as the other one is unwrapping his multiple presents, the 10yo is unwrapping clues that lead to the laptop!

And then theres nothing wrong with being frank once the laptop is opened, and saying "10 yo you understand why you only have one present, right?". Theres nothing crass about that. It's good to make sure he understands.

I won't criticise OP.
If you want a bigger pile add some bulky items.
A throw, dressing gown, a bean bag.

Open the laptop box. Wrap the manual, power supply and battery separately!

Did I get it right?

so you got an expensive gamer laptop for the 10 year old and you worry it's not enough? You need to give your heard a wobble and if the 10 year old is disappointed then there surely something is wrong with the 10 year old/his upbringing. he is 10. he should now how £££ it is.

what a utterly bizarre post unless the point was to boast

Here come the look how much I spent on my kids boasts 😠 you know some family's are greatfull that they can feed their kids this year. Yes your 19 year old should be bloody greatfull for the amount he's got. If he's not take a look at your parenting.

Edit above to 10 year old NOT 19

If anything I’d be worrying the other way around. The 13 year old will probably be able to figure out that he has had far less money spent on him and might be upset about that. This will be made even worse if you add in a load of random extras for your 10 year old.

@Paddingtonjuice
How can I give my 13 year old a huge pile while my 10 year old has a small pile

How can you spend twice as much on a 10 year old without worrying about how you justify that to your 13 year old? Same difference.

Surely your children know how this works by now? If not they need to learn about price and quality v quantity. Managing expectations is a lesson they need to learn, now’s the opportunity.

Where is the 13 year old in all this? How is it fair that their younger sibling gets way more spent on them and an equal number of gifts? 13 is still young, and I think it could rankle to see mum was so desperate to make sure the, not that much, younger sibling didn't feel dissapointed despite the vast difference in spending.

You're 'panicking' about this? Really?

Your child is ten, and should be old enough to understand because his wow gift is so expensive, it means he has fewer smaller presents.

Children need to understand the cost of things. Personally at that cost my child would of only got the computer and nothing else bar a couple of sweets

I think it’s fine as he’s getting something that he asked for and knows is expensive.

I’m figuring some years you’ve spent more on your 13yo. Is that correct? You just need to prep your kids rather than worrying. Your 13yo may know how much a gaming laptop costs and twig their presents cost a lot less.

I had the same dilemma last year old explained in advance to ds about the cost of his games vrs the cost of his brothers toys and the size difference he was fine

Look, you've worked hard to give your kids a great Christmas. The 10 yo has what they want. It's a great lesson in life, about the value of stuff. I'm sure he'll simply be blinded by the gaming laptop and anything else you did buy to bulk up the piles will be discarded. Don't buy tat. Have faith that your son will love what he's been given.

I personally would find some cheap items that he would still want from The Works or WH Smith’s like stationery or a character mug or sweets or cheap clothes from Primark and bulk out the pile a bit. I do think a big difference in the pile size at that age is worth evening out regardless of cost. Sorry, I know that is an unpopular opinion, but lots of shiny things to open is what makes it as exciting as what is inside.

Mine don’t always have the same amount spent on them as we are guided by their lists rather than making sure they have the same spent. But I try and make sure they have a similar number of gifts. If that means wrapping a few similar bits together or buying a few cheaper but useful presents for the other one.

Is there nothing the 10 year old will need? Books, stationery, clothes anything you’d need to buy for hobbies that you could wrap as a gift instead of buying later on? Shower gel set?

I wouldn’t go out and buy cheap random presents that will be discarded but If there are things you’ll need to buy at some point anyway I’d do that.

I think you need to gain a little perspective right now

Another one saying why not just avoid having present piles? We stick all ours under the tree in a big jumble. I suspect once your son sees his laptop, he won’t care what else he gets, so one big family pile just avoids any initial disappointment. Please don’t buy things he doesn’t want or need just for the sake of wrapping them up. It’s horrible waste.

A friend does this OP , could you do something similar?
Her littlest is 6 so has lots of smaller presents and her oldest are 17/19 so its often one or two expensive things. She fills the smaller boxes with sweets/American crisps and snacks etc for thr older ones but they all have the same under the tree. Shes done snowmen, reindeer and elves . Use old boxes and coloured paper . I think some card shops do sell them now but she always does homemade versions

Like others have said, I think it's just about prepping them in advance. My DD10 is getting a large gift this year, she knows that means less presents this year and she's fine with it.
It's hard to resist The Twitch though!

Could you put the laptop in a giant box? Or do a sort of Russian dolls wrapping/boxes thing? I don’t think separate sized piles matter, though.

Have you actually brought up your Ds to not value a gaming laptop and understand that small box does not mean crap present?

The piles get smaller as they get older and the big toy boxes disappear.

Put their gifts in a sack and bulk out Ds’s with a couple of boxes of American breakfast cereal from the American aisle at Tesco. And a bottle of posh fizzy pop.

Op, can I ask why you are spending vastly different amounts on your children? I have three DC, 16, 14 and 11, they all have roughly the same amount spent on them. I wouldn't dream of getting a gift for one that was double the price of the others.

Threads like this make me so glad I have an only child.

I had two siblings, there is no way we would 'check out' what the others got or count how many presents or what 'value' had been spent on each of us.