Page 2 | Panicking about my Christmas present piles

Girlzroolz · 18/12/2020 00:40

My 10yo is getting my iPad for Xmas (3 years old- immaculate). So, not only no surprise under the tree, but a 2nd hand gift to boot! She’s still thrilled to bits, and can’t believe her luck. I promise she’s absolutely fine with it, and knows how expensive and special electronics are. She’ll likely be hoping for 2-3 small fun bits to unwrap, but frankly once she’s got an iPad in her little hands everything else will be background noise!

If I were you, I wouldn’t over-think it. Unless your kids are Dursleys, count on the spirit of the day to be positive. And banish anyone to another room for a while if they even think of pouting!

mygenericusername · 18/12/2020 00:44

You are not BU to have a wobble OP. Honestly the 10 year old will be so excited about the laptop he won’t notice what his brother has.

You are BU to justify yourself to someone like Liverpool.

Sweettea1 · 18/12/2020 00:55

If they don't ask for it they won't use it they are getting what they asked for an they will be happy with that just speak to them an explain one has more but same amount of money has been spent. I always tell ds this he's 12 an its all about technology he wants rather expensive things were dd 5 wants everything she sees but its all much cheaper. Your dc is at a age now where he should understand this.

reginaphalangeeee · 18/12/2020 00:58

If the 10 year old is old enough for their own gaming laptop, they're old enough to understand it will have cost significantly more than their sibling's presents. Also, there's no point bulking out the pile as once they have the laptop they're not going to be interested in the extras! You just need to explain when getting something expensive like that, it means there won't be a large pile of stuff. I'm sure they will understand and be very happy with the laptop!

SeaToSki · 18/12/2020 01:00

Wrap the laptop in an enormous box, see if you can get a washing machine box. The sheer scale will dwarf anything else.

If you are still worried then at dinner on the 23rd, have a chat about volume versus value and fairness isnt always obvious. Just to make a theoretical point

htbzLlhcR · 18/12/2020 01:06

@Paddingtonjuice

Having last minute panic attack about my children’s presents after wrapping tonight. I have got almost everything from my children’s lists. 13 year old has a huge pile because they haven’t asked for any wow present just things like collectible figures he likes and computer games. I may have overcompensated actually because of the lack of wow present.

10 year old has asked for a gaming laptop. I have spent twice as much on them than the 13 year old but their pile looks shit. How can I give 13 year old a huge pile when 10 year old comes downstairs to a small pile? I’ve got a remote control car, a few Nintendo figures and some chocolate to add to the laptop. Could you do this? My mum says no. My Dh says yes as he has a great present.

I think give your 10 year old the credit they deserve by explaining to them that they have a smaller pile of presents because they got a big present. Could even say that the laptop costs hundreds of pounds whereas each of your son's presents were ten or twenty pounds or whatever. I remember having this explained to me when I got an expensive doll at aged 10 or 11 and my sister wanted cheaper things.

canonlydoblue · 18/12/2020 01:23

I've just looked up the price of a gaming laptop. Ouch! Your ten year old will be just fine!

1forAll74 · 18/12/2020 01:42

How ridiculous, thinking that you have to give your children the same amount of presents,or the same value etc. If there is any hassle with children about this, you have to explain the value of some items. to them. Older children need to understand the value of this issue.

jaffacakeany1 · 18/12/2020 01:43

I go through this every single year, got the same problem this year but I've decided to not worry about it.... I say that now, Christmas Eve I'll be in a panic and dh will be rolling his eyes saying "oh no not this again!!"

minipie · 18/12/2020 01:47

10 is old enough to understand that one very expensive present = lots of cheaper ones.

Didkdt · 18/12/2020 01:48

My experience is actually once they hit the sweet spot of the gift they really want, and it’s not cost or size but desire, then nothing else matters. Remember the days of wrapping paper and boxes over the actual present? The present back then was us over them.
You are projecting your feelings onto your 10 year old but they are 10 not an adult
Let the 13 year old enjoy his presents the 10 year old will be too immersed in setting up the laptop to care

Mothership4two · 18/12/2020 01:53

I think you are overthinking it. It will be fine.

Growing up my family spent every Christmas with relatives and my cousins apparently had massive piles of presents compared to my much smaller one (which I don't remember) and within half an hour we would all be playing with my presents and theirs would be neglected (which I do remember).

Your perception might be different to your kids

Glitterblue · 18/12/2020 02:13

I feel the same about my niece and nephew. Nephew's one present cost the same as niece's 5 presents and I feel awful giving him just one parcel. It's not on the scale of yours (£35 each spent) and I know at 12 he will understand but still...I feel bad!

ViciousJackdaw · 18/12/2020 02:20

I opened this thread expecting to make a recommendation of Anusol...

SimplySusanna · 18/12/2020 02:36

All the 'right' answers have already been given so I'll give my unpopular opinion instead

No, I wouldn't have such a large difference and if I could, I would try and have a similar number of presents each.

Ds2 is 10 and not spoilt at all...but he still (tentatively) believes in Father Christmas. He's a perfect mix of incredibly mature and thoughtful and incredibly naiive and child like. He would be thrilled with the big gift but I suspect would be disappointed at such a large visual difference to ds1, although he'd try to hide it.

Personally, I would buy a few bulky extras for Ds2. A football. A board game. A big fluffy dressing gown or blanket hoodie. Something like a tennis set or a skateboard or Rollerblades...Sports Direct are brilliant for this kind of stuff, decent enough quality sets or 'big' items for £10-£20.

Sorry, have my hard hat on.

BensonStabler · 18/12/2020 02:41

I'm another one that did the pass the parcel style wrapping a small but very expensive gift in a small box, then into a bigger box, then increasingly bigger. Put some chocolate coins or a magazine or colouring in book, crayons or whatever in every second wrapping. My DD loved it and found it very funny and memorable. Some times I would buy a cheap dressing gown, a or duvet cover, novelty bedroom cushion, a cheap family boxed game or big teddy of some sort to make it look more. (Primark type prices)

Or just put a couple of large and medium gift bags with small things in it. Looks better. I even would blow up balloons and put them amongst the bundle to make it appear more when I had little money or just smaller sized main gifts.

Then she got old enough to understand smallest gifts can be the best gifts in the pile, and knows and appreciates the cost to us. I think your child may be ol enough to understand that too. You know your kids best. Follow your gut.

BensonStabler · 18/12/2020 02:44

Ps doing that small expensive main gift in the big boxes also throws them off the scent. They look at it and know it's not the size of that thing they want so convince themselves they aren't getting it. Then it's a bigger surprise for them in the end.

Highfalutinlootin · 18/12/2020 02:55

I think the UK tradition of separating each person's gifts into a separate "pile" is ridiculous and takes away from the joy of giving gifts to others. We have always mixed all the presents together and opened them one at a time so you don't see or focus on how many each person got, and you take time to enjoy watching others unwrap what you got them. Separate piles seems so self-centered.

dysoncansuckit · 18/12/2020 03:07

A gaming laptop is a pretty big, expensive, exciting gift. I wouldn't be adding to their pile. Personally I'd more worried that 13 year old would be upset at having half the amount spent on them.

ShoppingBasket · 18/12/2020 03:16

I have a similar issue this year, son is getting a laptop (2nd hand)that he can game on a small bit, he doesn't know. He needs one for school next year anyway as our family one is constantly needed by DH. I've wrapped it in a large Amazon box. He is getting a few other small bits he wanted but the rest are things he needs over next few months, new slippers, new pyjamas, new dressinggown character ones. So has bulked it out a bit! Still looks small though compared to other years😂 it would be fine if he didn't believe then he would only be getting the laptop!
I have prepped him a bit by saying games etc are smaller than lego sets etc. I don't think he will actually even notice, it's just me overthinking.
And I keep reminding myself I'm lucky to be able to get these things for my DS and he has a warm roof over his head and food in his tummy. Most importantly we are all healthy.

walfordwatcher · 18/12/2020 03:36

OP, I spent many a December worrying about making my children's present pile look equal - and I made colour co-ordinated lists to try and achieve that. With four children I'm not sure I ever did achieve that, and after a few years gave up trying. They are adults now, but as children in the excitement of the day no one ever noticed but me. As a foster carer now, some children receive ridiculous amounts of gifts from their families and with our presents to them also, they can have far, far more than my own children. Other children do not get anything from their families, well sometimes they did not even have a family. But again I really think it was never an issue for any of them. On the day no one is counting or measuring presents, really, no one ever noticed at all. So please don''t worry too much....and this year I guess the greatest gift for all of us is the fact we are alive and together. And at aged 13 and 10 they are old enough to understand the reasoning anyway.

Bookworming · 18/12/2020 03:51

*You are not BU to have a wobble OP. Honestly the 10 year old will be so excited about the laptop he won’t notice what his brother has.

You are BU to justify yourself to someone like Liverpool.*

She's not having a wobble she's having a panic attack, or so she states!

I think @liverpool1981 makes a good point.

Ohtherewearethen · 18/12/2020 04:11

You've spent twice as much on your 10 year old than your 13 year old and are worried that the 10 year old will be disappointed to open the laptop he wanted on Christmas morning? I'm afraid I'd be having words with the 10 year old if this was the case.

Crustmasiscoming · 18/12/2020 05:49

It's absolutely fine. At 10 and 13 they are plenty old enough to have a basic understanding of how much these things cost, and then bigger/more doesn't always equal better.

Crustmasiscoming · 18/12/2020 05:50

Oh also just wanted to add... if the 10 year old is really into gaming, which I'm assuming he is since you agreed to a very expensive gaming present, then he is going to be absolutely over the moon with his gaming laptop, and probably won't give a shit about what other people have got.