To worry about DS?

[sazzysazz337]

Ds was 1 last Friday and still no talking.

He doesn’t point to things, he was clapping and waving at around 7/8 months but has stopped. He doesn’t give you objects unless you hold your hand out to him.
He has been cruising since 9/10 months and can now take a few steps on his own. His eye contact is good and he’s always babbling. He will also copy behaviour like making noises with your hand and mouth but it seems once he’s found that he can do something he stops after a while. He’s very curious and is always playing.

I know not pointing etc is a sign of autism and I’m so worried.

That’s the thing I don’t know what he enjoys. Anything you do he laughs and giggles. He’s also started spitting food out and re-eating it. That’s the best thing ever he thinks

I just know one thing I absolutely detest my life. I think about this time two years ago when all I had to worry about was myself.

Not “does he have a fever, is he breathing okay, has he got a rash? he’s not eaten all his dinner is he unwell, is he autistic, is he deaf, is it global delay”

I know I need help and therapy and a lot of it but this is the most miserable time of my life and I feel horrible for ranting when there are people who can’t have children or have lost them. But if I could go back to how things were before I was pregnant I would in a heartbeat.

That’s the thing I don’t know what he enjoys. Anything you do he laughs and giggles.

Then he's enjoying it.

He’s also started spitting food out and re-eating it. That’s the best thing ever he thinks

That's babies! Let him enjoy doing that for a while, he will probably stop naturally after a while. He can learn manners later.

What support have you been offered for your anxiety?

Medication and I’ve had counselling on and off they’re sending another referral for me

He can’t even put shapes in a shape sorter toy.

I distincting remember being with my NCT group just as our babies were had turned one. We were all trying to get our babies to play with the fisher price shape sorter. Not a single one could do it, as we were about to leave someone's baby who had been bashing the circle against the box through sheer luck got it through the hole and we all cheered/laughed as it was clearly pure luck.

You'll feel better when he's at nursery because you'll be less triggered. When you're with him all the time everything he does or doesn't do seems to highten your anxiety. When you're doing something else at least it's respite. Sure it'll be in the back of your mind but it'll be less intense.

I would keep your mum away. You don't need help and guidance in terms of caring for your baby - you're doing fine. YOu need help and guidance in caring for yourself and your mum is very counterproductive in that area.

I hate myself for feeling anxious. I haven’t bothered much with DS today and he doesn’t seem to mind anyway but I feel guilty. I need a break from it all.

Are you getting time to yourself everyday? Even just an hour guaranteed time alone to watch shit TV/read a book/have a bath etc. Have you tried meditation or breathimng exercises? Won't be an instant fix but helps long term.

I have today but not much. At what age do they “start including you in their world” by bringing items etc cos DS won’t do that unless I sit with my hand out.

I’m tired, I don’t want to be a parent to him now. I just want to go away so the worry stops.

He never plays and then decides to come and show me anything and I watched my friends DS do that when he turned one and I couldn’t wait for that milestone. I find it adorable. Everyone else’s babies seem so more advanced and DS seems to have no personality, he seems so babyish compared to the others.

I appreciate it's your depression that's making you feel like this but honestly the way you think and talk about your son is heartbreakingly sad.

I love Ds more than anything and i don’t mean it as a criticism. I just don’t want him to struggle in life and I’m so uncertain.

Sorry if I missed it but is the father around? Also are you living with your mum?

His dads around yeah we are together just not living together at the moment as house is being renovated. I have to stay with my mum for a few weeks

@sazzysazz337

His dads around yeah we are together just not living together at the moment as house is being renovated. I have to stay with my mum for a few weeks

So, have you been feeling worse since being at your mums? Is this something that might get a little better once you move out? What does your partner think?

Try having a look at sensory stuff - create a box of textures - maybe get a light projector - sparkly pom poms for doing cheerleader type dances to fun music

Yeah I don’t get on with my mum at all. His dad wouldn’t notice until he’s older anyway he hasn’t really noticed anything just asks me why I can’t talk. I haven’t spoken to him about potential ASD yet. DS hasn’t really danced, he bounced twice to the Andys safari adventure theme song but that’s about it.

He doesn’t really do anything if I think about it.

why he can’t talk sorry

@sazzysazz337

why he can’t talk sorry

You need to stop obsessing about this! My toddler son didn't speak until 2 1/2 years but was an early mover and is more advanced now doing physical stuff. I know I had low level concerns but there was nothing wrong - he just decided that he wanted to understand the words before saying them. You will drive yourself mad if you have a late talker

Conversely the 11 month old doesn't crawl but copies words and actions - im not worried as he will move at some stage and he's a big strong boy

1 is young to dance to music - will he play with toys that make sounds?

DS hasn’t really danced, he bounced twice to the Andys safari adventure theme song but that’s about it.

Bouncing to music is good. But I didn't mean he should dance, I meant you should pick him up and dance about carrying him in your arms for a bit. It'll do you some good if nothing else.

Again it isn’t so much the talking as I thought “early walker late talker”

It’s more the general communication. He is exactly 1 and a week today.

No pointing
No bringing stuff
No nothing really

It’s more those things that are screaming ASD at me

I will definitely be trying the dancing though. It sounds like fun, even if it is more for me

He doesn’t really do anything if I think about it.

Of course he does

He has been cruising since 9/10 months and can now take a few steps on his own.

His eye contact is good and he’s always babbling.

He will also copy behaviour like making noises with your hand and mouth

Also if he wants something out of reach he just will go and get it or he’ll reach towards it.

He can drink from his own cup and put his arms through sleeves

If we used to say to him “where’s your little dog” he would go and get it

You've said all of this on the thread. He can do a lot of things, and even seems ahead in some areas. Please seek help for you anxiety, there's nothing wrong with your child.

He's doing lots of other things though, kisses, cuddles, playing independently. You're focusing on what he can't do but if you read back your posts you'll see that he can do lots!

He took 8 steps on his own just now. Very shocked it seems so quick

You do need break. Get him into nursery