To worry about DS?

[sazzysazz337]

Ds was 1 last Friday and still no talking.

He doesn’t point to things, he was clapping and waving at around 7/8 months but has stopped. He doesn’t give you objects unless you hold your hand out to him.
He has been cruising since 9/10 months and can now take a few steps on his own. His eye contact is good and he’s always babbling. He will also copy behaviour like making noises with your hand and mouth but it seems once he’s found that he can do something he stops after a while. He’s very curious and is always playing.

I know not pointing etc is a sign of autism and I’m so worried.

@mynameiscalypso that is so cute about the elephant! bless him. is this actually true about boys?

Sounds perfectly normal to me OP, I'd stop worrying. Talking to your HV/GP could be a good idea though to put your mind at rest. Won't DS be due his 1 year check soon?
He sounds exactly like my now 4 year old was at 1 and he's fine - nursery say he's bright and have no worries about development.
I was worried when he wasn't talking at 18 months. His development was reviewed regularly by a paediatrician anyway so I asked her when he should be talking and she said very firmly two years old! He started saying a few words around 23 months and then his vocabulary grew so quickly! Anyway - now he doesn't stop talking! Excellent vocabulary! Pointing and grunting at his age is fine - paediatrician asked if he did that as that's also a good sign - its his way of communicating until he develops speech.
The play sounds normal too - that's what my DS did - transfer objects between containers - he's exploring his world. He's too young yet for imaginative play. Yep to the ignoring me when he's engrossed in something!

My DS's play at that age sounds just like your DS's and it is hard trying to play with them and getting nothing back. Best things to interact with my DS at that age were 'peekaboo' and pretending to 'chase' him round his playpen etc. Then I just talked to him a lot - what I was doing, what we could see when we went out, etc. Around 3.5 years he bagan more playing 'with' me as opposed to 'next' to me. Now at 4 'Come and play with me' often just means sit next to me while I play! He still takes Duplo off me, unmakes what I've made and makes his own thing.
Definitely take him to nursery, I'm sure you'll see he's not behind and you can ask the staff about his development - they'll be able to reassure you I'm sure and you'll get regular updates on his progress, they'd also flag up any concerns.
Maybe see if you can get hold of some baby development books/articles - your HV can probably give you something to read and ideas of activities to do with him. Try not to worry - he sounds fine.

I am anxious, extremely. I know they say focus on what he can do, but it doesn’t seem to progress anywhere it’s the same thing all the time. I don’t know whether it’s my worrying but he can’t seem to do an awful lot.

[quote sazzysazz337]@mynameiscalypso that is so cute about the elephant! bless him. is this actually true about boys?[/quote]
I believe so. I think the average range for first words is something like 9-14 months and - generally - girls are at the earlier stage and boys are at the later stage. Obviously there are exceptions but it's broadly true. It's certainly been my anecdotal experience too.

@sazzysazz337 my love, your baby is one. There is nothing wrong or worrying about what you describe.

My twins were late talkers, and had lots of speech therapy, but that was from 3. One year olds don't do any talking (anyone that says they do is fibbing!).

This is your anxiety talking

All your later posts remind me so much of me when I had my first. I'd actually forgotten just how anxious I got and how convinced I was he'd never learn to talk or socialise. I was actually constantly anxious about it and it made everything miserable. In the end he ended up with really advance language by the time he was two. He remained quite sensitive to noises until he was 3-4 but now he's 9 loves school, has loads of friends, and is just a happy boy!

Thing is, OP, If he did have autism the first thing that would happen is that you would abandon the time you are currently spending on your own anxieties and you would get on with the job of helping him be the best he can be.
It’s the uncertainty that is doing your head in

I know this isn't what you want to hear but could you try some mindfulness. I found the 'calm' app really helped. (At the time I didn't want to learn to cope with anxiety I just wanted someone to wave a magic wand and make DS talk and give me a guarantee it would all be OK. In hindisght though I do wish I could have enjoyed more of the time without anxiety).

He sounds like my baby, she is one in two weeks! I think what your describing is pretty normal but I do understand your worries too. My baby says mama and that’s it just a lot of noises! I don’t think they tend to have many words at this stage. My baby also loves just putting things away and taking them out again or waving stuff around. She isn’t walking but can pull herself up and step beside the couch. She likes books but only very short one line per page and Lift the flaps style, otherwise she would be bored too! She also dosent always respond to her name usually if she is at something she isn’t meant to be ha ha!

@IMNOTSHOUTING it’s absolutely shit isn’t it. Like I know tomorrow is another day of basically talking to myself, I can’t stand it and I don’t see an end to it very soon!

I was like you, OP. ASD in wider family too so I felt it was a possibility early on. Genuinely used to be sick with worry about DD. Analyzed everything and googled constantly. right around 12 months I had a moment where I "knew" she had ASD. She definitely wasn't pointing by then and I was so sick with worry about how things might be for her.

Anyway - shes now 5 and developing totally normally. I don't know when it happened but I guess she caught on to things over time and the fears faded, and all that stress feels like another lifetime.

I only post this to say it's possible to feel convinced - and it be nothing except your own fear magnifying everything. As others say, if you look you will find things, as toddler development is so varied. Worry won't change anything, so you might as well save the worry until it happens, IF it does. I really do empathize, as it dominates if you let it. Try not to! Your baby sounds lovely.

@sazzysazz337

It’s mostly the fact if he’s engrossed in something and I call his name he just ignores it. Everything else gets blanked out.

Sounds like a typical chap!

Don't worry, @sazzysazz337, at nursery, we had an interview with head teacher who gave DS a puzzle to do.

DS did it , utterly engrossed, and took no notice of us at all.
Head teacher said ''Good concentration skills'', and DS was accepted.

Being engrossed with good co-ordination wouldn't worry me at all.

Your DS sounds fine to me.

@IMNOTSHOUTING

I know this isn't what you want to hear but could you try some mindfulness. I found the 'calm' app really helped. (At the time I didn't want to learn to cope with anxiety I just wanted someone to wave a magic wand and make DS talk and give me a guarantee it would all be OK. In hindisght though I do wish I could have enjoyed more of the time without anxiety).

This hit the nail on the head! I just want a way to see into the future to see if he ever speaks. I’m so curious to hear his voice and hear him talking to his toys and his friends too.

I feel like such a shit cop out mum. I feel like this is so mundane. And I keep coming back to this thread to reassure myself however I just don’t think we will ever progress from here. I say to him when he’s on the floor “where’s mama” and he just smiles. He doesn’t know I’m his mum, I’m just there.

You cannot rush it op
Take each day
You will need to be patient

Use visuals show him photos
Do makaton signs

Ms ds has asd and no verbal speech but uses aac and communicates.

If your ds does have asd he needs you and dh to support him and listen to his communication
Get him into nursery
Get some support from gp for the anxiety

say to him when he’s on the floor “where’s mama” and he just smiles

Great!
He is communicating
He is a baby
He isnt going to tell you "mama i love you" at this age
But he smiles aNd shows you he knows you are important person in his life

I just know there’s something not right. He’s fascinated by opening and closing cupboard doors and used to cruise round furniture carrying one of the stacking rings. Also used to have a thing for playing with spoons. I read a post on here by a Mumsnetter that her son did this too and was DX ASD.

He doesn’t look at me half the time if I say where’s mama. I doubt I’m important to him at all, he’ll view me the same as he did at 8 weeks old, I’m there to feed him and remove the poo from his nappy. That’s it.

Still sounds totally normal OP, mine did stuff like this too. Cupboard doors are fscinating when you're one! Ditto carrying things around, playing with spoons.

I think you're expecting a bit too much of him OP, he's only one.

Your DS is communicating with you - you said he smiles at you, so he's reacting, smiling, showing he recognises you and you're important. The words will come when he's old enough.

Nothing anyone says is going to reassure you so please, speak to your GP and ask for help. His childhood will go by in the blink of an eye and you are going to spend most of that time unable to enjoy him if you don't get your mental health sorted.

I’m gonna phone them in the morning definitely because I really am not enjoying any of it if I’m honest. It’s just constant worrying and I guiltily find myself thinking that I wish I could go back to before I was pregnant when everything seemed so easy and stress free.

I am so greatful for these replies as all I am doing is just dreading another mundane silent day of putting blocks in a tray and it isn’t exactly how I thought I’d feel during motherhood

It can feel mundane at times, when they're so little and we've had lockdown of course this year which has made time so much more mundane, cutting out most of the outings we would have done.
Practically, try to think of what will add interest to your days. Can you find little activities you can do together, ask you HV for ideas - I asked and got a sheet of simple activities to do at different ages (in months). And I got a couple of kindle books '50 things to do with your baby' and '50 things to do with your todder' that had some good ideas using mainly stuff you'll already have.
Can you play some music?
Are there any mum and baby / toddler groups running yet near you? Baby swimming? Can you take him out in his pushchair much? Getting him into nursery will help too and give your week some structure and give you some time to yourself.

Sorry you're having a rough time OP. For what it's worth I think your LO sounds developmentally fine. Mine wasn't walking until around 15 months! I couldn't even tell you now when he started to talk or even babble, I was never concerned about it though, they all develop in their own way, and at your LO's age it is certainly waaayyy to early to be concerned.

One thing that struck me though from your posts is that you mention watching your LO lots and inviting some interaction but not happy with what you are getting back. Perhaps it would be good to increase your chit chat towards him? I used to never shut up when I was at home with mine, I used to narrate everything I was doing, even what I was watching on tv, almost constant. Talking, repetition, rhymes, songs I think all helped.

See whenever I see threads like this I want to jump on and say, my son was like this but he's 7 now and fine! He is fine. But he's also autistic. It makes me sad when people say they are terrified.
Honestly, if I could take away my sons autism I would, just to make his life easier. But I can't and he is autistic and we will deal with it. The same as you will if your son does turn out to have autism.
Just enjoy your time with him and stop worrying

For what it's worth, my youngest spoke very young, he walked at 15 months. He is also suspected to have autism but he is very different to his brother.