What things do you find rude that others don’t seem to?

[TheRaccoon]

I’ll go first:

• People who season food before they’ve tried it
• People who take ages to text back (or don’t at all)
• People who are late for no reason

Shortening people's names if you don't know them well. If Deborah wanted to be called Debbie or Debs, she would have introduced herself to you as such
Oh yes this makes me so annoyed, I feel like saying in my haughtiest voice ‘sorry you don’t know me’. But contrarily, once someone is close I have no problem at all with my name being shortened!

cuttothechase I totally agree. The excuse “I’m shy” doesn’t cut it with me. I feel shy too but I make a bl**dy effort when I’m out and find something to talk about or show an interest in others.

Lateness - yes.

People who stop listening when you’re talking because their child or dog demands attention, when you’ve listened to them properly for ages.

I agree too cuttochase and I'm one those people. Or at least used to be. Still v introverted but at some point late twenties realised letting other people do all the work in social situations was just rude. It's not their problem that it makes me tired or I get embarrassed. That's for me to manage.

@CutToChase

None of these are controversial in the slightest. I do actually have a controversial one:

Introverts who don't make an effort. I know I'll get slaughtered for saying it, but I do find it rude in social situations when people take a backseat and let others do the conversational heavylifting consistently.

I'm tired too. I think its inane too. You arent somehow more emotionally intelligent for remaining basically dumb throughout the entire evening, but you are rude because you're relying on other people putting in the effort to give the evening some semblance of meaning. Because if we all just sat there quietly well.... That would be awkward.

Agree with this. It's very tiring!!

Salespeople who don’t take a polite ‘no, thank you’ for an answer. I understand that they have a job to do, but it’s just so ill-mannered.

When they do that to me, they tend to get a rather less polite refusal.

@CutToChase

None of these are controversial in the slightest. I do actually have a controversial one:

Introverts who don't make an effort. I know I'll get slaughtered for saying it, but I do find it rude in social situations when people take a backseat and let others do the conversational heavylifting consistently.

I'm tired too. I think its inane too. You arent somehow more emotionally intelligent for remaining basically dumb throughout the entire evening, but you are rude because you're relying on other people putting in the effort to give the evening some semblance of meaning. Because if we all just sat there quietly well.... That would be awkward.

Love conversational heavy lifting too, great phrase I will use!

People who don't bother learning how to spell or pronounce other people's names, and continue to get it wrong. Apparently for some people it just doesn't matter. So rude and disrespectful.

@hazandduck

Omg *@CutToChase* I completely agree with you! My in laws are so guilty of this.

My in-laws too. It's quite tiring. Afterwards I think why did I make an effort when they didn't?'

When people treat children like they're not people. You know, those people who glare at your children when you get on a train or restaurant and sit near them or next to them in a shop. Children are people, not wild beasts I've eccentrically tried to train, and have as much right to be here as you!

@Milkshake7489

People who start their meal before everyone else's food has arrived. It gives me the rage (even though I'm not sure why!).

My lovely inlaws all do this and I quietly seethe

I agree but I also find it unforgivable when a restaurant brings some meals out significantly before the others

@Milkshake7489

People who start their meal before everyone else's food has arrived. It gives me the rage (even though I'm not sure why!).

My lovely inlaws all do this and I quietly seethe

I knew a girl who went to a finishing school somewhere in Europe. She told me that if the food is hot then you are actually supposed to start eating and that was perfectly in line with etiquette. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I always wait though, unless told to start.

People who don,t answer the phone unless expecting a call or don,t answer the doorbell unless expecting someone.

I was at a Christmas market last year and it was very busy. I waited until I could get to the front of a stall, only about 8 people at a time could be at the front and there rest gathered behind waiting their turn. When at the from the lady behind me kept saying 'excuse me' 'excuse me' in a really polite voice just expecting me to change places with her because she asked in a nice way. She asked so much I just told her ' I haven't finished yet' and she looked confused. I think impatient and unreasonable demands asked in a nice way can be very rude and people don't notice.

When you go to visit someone and they don't offer you a drink within the first five or ten minutes of you being there.

I'm Irish, it's the done thing.

*front

I HATE when I’m sitting in the aisle seat on public transport and the person next to me needs to get off so just stands up without making any eye contact with me and expects me to move. I find it so rude but no one else ever seems to be bothered by it! If I’m in the window seat and need to get past, I always say “excuse me please” or even just “sorry” and a smile. I don’t know why it bothers me so much.

I agree with the people who make no effort or only give one word answers in social situations. You’re not that shy if you can manage to hold down a job and a relationship!
Friends with children who visit your house and don’t discipline them when their little darlings are doing handstands next to your glass coffee table. I would have been mortified if my DC had done that.

@pigletpie2177

People starting an email with just my name when: A) they don't know me; B) they are being generally knobbish in the email; and C) I work in what is generally considered to be quite a formal job.

It gives me the rage. I don't mind if we've spoken before and they are being pleasant but I'd never go straight in with a first name on a professional email.

Also - totally agree with seasoning food before eating it. Especially if I made it!

My boss used to do this! I had to tell her it came across really arsy.

She's mostly stopped now.... Unless she's being arsy

@Milkshake7489

People who start their meal before everyone else's food has arrived. It gives me the rage (even though I'm not sure why!).

My lovely inlaws all do this and I quietly seethe

Yes, this.

Whenever my inlaws come around, even if I've spent an hour cooking, the table is set with candles, whatever, they still just load their plates and tuck right in.

@Asthenia

I HATE when I’m sitting in the aisle seat on public transport and the person next to me needs to get off so just stands up without making any eye contact with me and expects me to move. I find it so rude but no one else ever seems to be bothered by it! If I’m in the window seat and need to get past, I always say “excuse me please” or even just “sorry” and a smile. I don’t know why it bothers me so much.

Oooh I hate this too.

But what’s even more annoying is when people use a child for his purpose...

“Tallulah that’s our seats there....” (whilst pushing their child into my legs in an attempt to get past)

You can say excuse me 🙄

In fact, people who speak THROUGH their children as a means of communicating for anything!

At work, I find people who spell my name incorrectly incredibly rude and lazy - you can see my name and therefore how it is spelt on my email address FFS. It's a perfectly normal name, nothing unusual! Grrrr

Oh email, I'm sure I upset people, I honestly don't know what's correct.

You can't say Dear ..... in an email can you? Hi is all wrong in business communication.

I usually go for Good Morning, but admit for a short, just need to impart some information email, often don't use a salutation at all.

Not taking your shoes off in other people's houses. I find it utterly rude!

But with seasoning of food, if you know that you will always want more salt and pepper, surely better just to add it straight away rather than taking a polite bite and then raining down the seasoning? Doesn’t the latter run the risk of implying the food tastes awful? Whereas the first is just knowing you always want salt?

Although, if someone adds seasoning before they taste it and then moan it’s over-seasoned, well, then I guess you get to stake them out on the bird table and let the ravens eat their liver.

Throwing my Christmas card in the bin without opening it.