What things do you find rude that others don’t seem to?

[TheRaccoon]

I’ll go first:

• People who season food before they’ve tried it
• People who take ages to text back (or don’t at all)
• People who are late for no reason

I’ve noticed something very interesting about the debate about making conversation at social events. Engaging in conversation isn’t just about talking, it’s also about listening. You can participate by listening and occasionally asking question or joining in. You don’t have to talk a lot. I find it more annoying when people don’t listen and it’s quite obvious that they’re just waiting for the person talking to stop so they can give their two-pence worth.

People who open/ close a window or adjust the temperature of a room without checking with everyone else first.

Agree with the 'can't stop' thing too

@Serin

Kids sticking their tongues out. It's not cute, it's horrible. Sort it out Kate and William.

Correct.

When you call someone for work, they answer and say “I’m in a meeting this isn’t a good time”... WHY answer then?????

People who blow their nose loudly in restaurants. Come on! People are eating, we don’t want to hear your mucus expulsion. It’s gross, go to the bathroom so we don’t have to hear it and be put of our food (rant over)

people who put their hot pocket in the oven when i am making tuna casserole

my kids who put their hot pocket (or other baked snacks.) in the oven when i am making dinner

Walking off when I am mid sentence. DH does it all the bloody time. If he needs to go do something, then fine say so but don’t just walk off like what I am saying is so boring and unimportant it doesn’t matter.

Equally however I think it’s rude to talk endlessly without recognising when the other person has stopped properly responding (and so is probably bored or trying to bring things to a close). MIL does this, which is perhaps why DH now has the habit of walking off mid sentence.

I suspect this is unusual but I think phoning someone is rude if you just have a brief non urgent question and could easily text or email it. It’s interrupting the other person and expecting an immediate response. A text or email, they could choose to respond to when convenient for them.

Mentioning parties or other social events to someone who wasn’t invited (but might expect to have been). Likely to hurt their feelings so just keep quiet about it FGS.

I am never sure about weight loss. Is it rude to mention it if a friend has lost lots of weight (and wanted to) or rude not to mention it??

@minipie You feel like that about phone calls because you live in the age where texting is the usual mode of communication. For those of us who are older (I'm 51), this is a relatively new thing. When I was a young adult, we used to communicate by telephone only; the only other way was to write a letter, which would take a couple of days to reach the recipient.

I quite like the change and I adapted easily. But my MIL either telephones us or writes letters. She's been getting the hang of emails, though, which has made it easier for me to communicate with her.

But I wouldn't find telephoning rude, because it was the norm when I was growing up. So that's very likely an age thing.

@Plussizejumpsuit

People getting pissy over who gets to use their name is so stuck up. As if somone has the audacity to use your name, the thing people call you! Such an old fashioned point if view. It's your fucking name, for calling you by!

Yes! People who insist on being called 'Mrs Smith' etc. and act like you're shockingly rude if you don't. In my job I need to find out people's first names when they're giving details and the number of people who won't tell you, or will only give an initial, drives me up the wall.

Re: social situations, I'm moderately introverted but don't mind chatting to people I don't know UNLESS they are extremely shy and give one word answers and say virtually nothing etc. It makes ME start to claim up and not know what to say.

I once had a boss who insisted that at our annual Christmas party, people couldn't sit where they wanted during the meal and that different departments and friendship groups had to be split up and spread across all tables so a handful of people didn't feel 'left out'. It was our one party of the year. People wanted to sit with their friends and have fun together. It just made things really awkward and after he left, the new boss thankfully did not continue this policy.

Mittens I agree and wouldn’t find it rude if it’s a person of that age. My younger sister on the other hand who is fully au fait with text but prefers to call as she wants an answer immediately ...

People who glare at me when I dare ask them politely to move/give me space...

They glare, look really pissed off and then budge half an inch and then when thats clearly not sufficient and I ask again, there is all of the humphing and grumping and even more hard stares!

It does not take a genius to look at me and realise I need a fair bit of room, that me plus x kg of wheelchair designed for a wide load is going to need them to budge more than half an inch.

I'd love to just drive into them but many (!!) kg of powerchair and me won't just be uncomfortable, it'll break bones.

Lateness.

Getting to the top of the escalator/through the door and then stopping so nobody can get past you.

Guests who start the old Scrape 'n Stack before I've even had a chance to offer people seconds (as a guest, your job is to sit there and be sociable. If I wanted a maid I'd hire one).

Asking restaurant wait staff 'Where are you from?' the minute you hear an accent.

Colleagues who talk over you.

Managers who do a free-association babble through the first 25 minutes of a meeting, let you get 4 minutes in and then tell you they have to get to their next call.

Asking restaurant wait staff 'Where are you from?' the minute you hear an accent.

Yes! and not just restaurant staff but anyone you don't know or have just spoken to for the 1st time. If you do want to know, ask later after some small talk / chat. People don't like this to be the first (and sometimes only!) bit that defines them, it's like you want to label them immediately.

Also when they answer, don't look mildly disappointed if the country mentioned isn't one of your fave holiday destination or a more obscure place - so the poor person feel quizzed and then as if they 've let you down .

destinaions, feels quizzed

Oh and there's the subject of foreign names.

People who ask someone's name and it's foreign / they are not sure they could pronounce it, so they just look blank and helpless, and change the subject . So rude.

Just ask to repeat it slowly, or say ' how do I pronounce it properly?', and do try to say the name, doesnt matter if it's not perfect. you've asked in the first place! Most people manage.

People who get obsessed with their food “going cold.”

Your food is not suddenly turning to ice in the minute or two you might have to wait for everyone to be served.

It’s not like you’re going to eat it all in that first minute or two when it’s super-hot. Just calm down.

I stopped reading after page 1. The ignorance shown towards understanding introverts was shocking and rude. Maybe educate yourself.

I think saying “educate yourself” is very ill mannered.

But showing complete ignorance towards introverts is ok is it?

I am horribly shy in real life. But I can manage to make a bit of small talk/ look interested. There were people on this thread sneering at sad people making an effort at conversation and implying that those who didn’t engage were superior.

Manners maketh the (wo)man - and just making a little bit of effort - just smiling even - is all that’s required.

Feeling shy and being an introvert are not the same thing.

@Marzipan12

I stopped reading after page 1. The ignorance shown towards understanding introverts was shocking and rude. Maybe educate yourself.

Introverts are not some sort of group requiring protection from discrimination!

Well perhaps they should be! (And I am not an introvert btw)

@Mintjulia

People who ring, leave a message and then keep ringing every 45 seconds.

If I haven't answered the phone, there is a reason - I'm driving or in the shower or making pastry and my hands are covered in gunk. Just go away and do something else, I'll call back when I'm not busy.

Conversely I find it irritating that people ring, and don't leave a message, then complain that you've not called them back. My landline is really crappy and is in the one socket in the house - far away from where I usually am. Plus the volume on the ringer is stuck on low. If you want me to call you back then tell me - leave a message, ring my mobile, text, email, whatsapp, or messenger all work and 99% of people I know have several of these alternative communication channels.