What things do you find rude that others don’t seem to?

[TheRaccoon]

I’ll go first:

• People who season food before they’ve tried it
• People who take ages to text back (or don’t at all)
• People who are late for no reason

I find it rude if I go over to a friends house and they keep the telly on in the background... it really annoys me.

I have to visit people's homes as part of my job, the amount of people that don't turn the television off is shocking. Slurping, people who talk with their mouths full and people who lick the lid of their yoghurt in front of you. If you must get every last bit, please use a spoon.

People who reply to my emails asking for information that was in the email!! Grr.

Proper etiquette is to wait for everyone if the good is served cold, but it start eating if it is served hot. It isnt rude to start eating if the dish is services hot; it seemed to be a thing started by the lower classes trying to mimic upper classes but getting it wrong and it spiralled from there so now people consider you rude if you start eating.

Adults who insist on walking in groups next to each other pushing me into the road to maintain social distancing.

Using you're looking well. I only said it when i meant it but because its common knowledge code for you look porky you are rude to say it even if like me you meant it nicely.

School gate mums who stare at you but dont smile or ever greet you first. It's like a dare of who will cave in and say hi first.

Asking people what they do. Very British, very rude. It's basically sizing you up for money and to work out very quickly your socio economics and even intelligence and personality rather than get to know you.

Repeated offers of food or drink. I already said NO.

Discussing your food: oh its too stodgy, oh i couldnt eat that its very fattening, oh it smells, oh you must have a lot of time to prepare it. It looks healthy, are you on a diet? My food looks sad next to yours (colleagues comments on my lunches).

People who "was it planned?" when you say you're pregnant. How is this appropriate?! Congrats is just fine!!

Just saying "excuse me" (usually in an abrupt manner) instead of "excuse me please" when someone is in the way. This was extremely common in London, so I don't think anyone else finds it rude.
Also, people who rush past almost pushing me out the way when I've stopped to let someone going the other way through. Either it doesn't occur to them that I have stopped for a reason and not just for the hell of it, or they are rude and can't wait two seconds to let someone else go first.

Plz.
It’s please you rude moron.

Asking people what they do. Very British, very rude. It's basically sizing you up for money and to work out very quickly your socio economics and even intelligence and personality rather than get to know you

I don’t get this, it’s not about money for most, although I get it may he for you, but how do you get to know someone if you don’t know what they do? It’s a large part of many people’s lives. For most it’s just small talk when they ask anyway.

No please and thanks or preamble on Facebook etc. Bin day? Electrician recommendations?

ASK NICELY MUTHERFUCKER

Keeping the TV on when people are visiting

Keeping TV on during meals

Checking phone during mealtimes

I can't stand it when people take off their shoes before they come into my house, even though I very clearly tell them to KEEP them on. I wear shoes if I'm expecting a visitor and I certainly don't want to see your feet or socks. If I ask you to please keep your shoes on, I MEAN IT!

People who send emails to say they're donating to charity instead of sending cards at Christmas. Especially if they wait until the last minute, so I've already sent them one. And because you know they just can't be bothered.

People who help themselves.

Yes Cavagirl, I came on to say exactly this! DH's family are the opposite, early for everything and all seem to think it's fine I get round it now by telling them to come an hour later than I actually want them so when they arrive 45 minutes early they're actually 15 minutes late in my head, which suits me perfectly

In work training when no one answers questions or discusses the topics. Just answer, none of us want to be here and it’s rude to the trainer. It makes for a better session if you just talk and answer questions, it’s a set amount of time so you won’t get out any quicker. So much more painful on zoom too.
@CutToChase I totally agree, tempted just to stare back at them next time. As if they are so precious they can’t just talk about the weather.

@Cattenberg

Accepting an invitation to a social event (e.g a birthday party or dinner party), then cancelling because you’ve had a “better offer”.

I feel particularly sorry for children who have no shows at their birthday parties, sometimes because their guests’ PARENTS offered to take them out somewhere else. What a shitty habit to pass on to your children.

Ah yes, another of my pet hates. Even worse is inviting someone somewhere and then not being there when they arrive because you had a last minute better offer. A friend did this to me on New Year's Eve and her whole extended family was there but she had gone to a last minute party somewhere else. The family insisted I stay and were very friendly but it was still a very uncomfortable evening. When I complained to her the next day, all she had to say was "Are my family so bad?"

People who serve food on cold plates.
People who decide to go to the toilet just as I put dinner (on warm plates) on the table.

People who salt food without tasting it.
People who help themselves to more than an equal share of food before others have served themselves

People who take ages to text back (or don’t at all)

Why? It seems pretty rude to me to expect that other people have nothing better to do than watch the phone so that you won't have to wait for a reply.

People who answer their mobile in the middle of a TEAMs meeting then get up and walk away from their desk to take the call.
People who use their phone at the table.
People who have televisions in their kitchen (or any other room) and leave them on when you are invited over
People who are so arrogant they don't believe that the Tier or lockdown rules apply to them.
People who are late, rude etc.
People in general - animals are far nicer

Shouting from another room instead of coming to find me and talk to face to face.

DH sometimes does this and it makes me growl internally. I couldn't put my finger on why, until DD started doing it and I had to explain why she shouldn't. It turns out it's because when you shout to someone in another room and expect a response, what you're actually saying is "I can't see you, so I don't know what you're doing, but it can't possibly be as important as talking to me, so stop doing it and give me your full attention."

I was very careful to explain this loudly, within earshot of DH.

@Ilovelblue

I have quite a long first name which all but a handful of people use. I introduce myself to a new person with said long name and get seriously annoyed when they immediately shorten it without asking me. Gets me EVERY SINGLE TIME.

I also hate being out with a friend (there's one in particular though another is quite guilty of this) who then bumps into somebody she knows without saying to me "Oh this is xxxx" or "Let me introduce you to xxxx". I then have to stand there like a lemon. I've actually started saying "So who've we got here then" to try and jolt her into some basic etiquette but she's never taken the hint so far.

My other pet hate is going into a coffee shop, ordering my drink and then they ask "Regular or large?" What's wrong with normal or large? Regular is a horrid Americanism which has filtered through into our daily speech. I really hate it.

Are you me??

Also:

• people not letting others out before they push their way in

• eating while talking on the phone

• not making eye contact while speaking (ASD sufferers forgiven)

• shortening names without asking

• people playing audio from devices in a public place through the speaker instead of earphones (gives me rage!)

• general lack of table manners but reaching over others instead of asking that something is passed drives me nuts

• people who let their wheelie case drag about a metre behind them instead of keeping it close to their feet

@Jaxhog - agree, not sending cards but giving a donation comes across as really quite arrogant and it suggests you're not worthy of their time. Most ppl I know you do this are very comfortably off, why not do both?

As an immigrant (definitely not an 'expat'), I have plenty:

Insisting on speaking English even though I am obviously at near-native level in the local language. Worse, correcting my English and/or making a stupid stereotyping remark about Brits.

Comments about how raising children bilingually surely 'confuses' them (no, it doesn't)

Asking me where I 'really' come from

People here have an incredibly annoying habit of calling 'hello' to get someone's attention - not in a questioning way, either, but in a very demanding kind of intonation. Or saying 'careful!' when they want to get by as opposed to 'excuse me'. Infuriating, but absolutely normal here.

A more general one:

Lighting up at an outdoor cafe/bus stop/whatever when the people in proximity aren't also smoking.

@Leaannb so you would cancel on a child's birthday party at the last minute or just not show up, just because you decide you want to do something with your child instead? Height of rudeness and so disappointing for the child whose party it is.

In a similar vein I find it very annoying these days when people use 'self care' or 'putting myself first' as an excuse not to make an effort for other people. The principle is fine up to a point, but being a decent human being involves occasionally doing things for others that you don't necessarily feel like doing. Taken too far, it's just rude and selfish.

@tectonicplates

People who don't bother learning how to spell or pronounce other people's names, and continue to get it wrong. Apparently for some people it just doesn't matter. So rude and disrespectful.

Ooh yes!