AIBU - I've cancelled Christmas

[CancelledChristmas]

This morning I cancelled our Christmas plans. I won't go into the outing family dynamics of who was invited but I can say that I was railroaded into doing Christmas lunch once again because of other peoples laziness and reluctance to put their hand in their deep pockets.

I've just had enough. I have a bag of shit going on in my life right now and we are neighbouring a hotspot that will soon spread into where I live. No one cares about bringing Covid into my house so now I am putting my foot down and have said NO. The shit will hit the fan and I will be persona non grata but I am overwhelmed at the moment and no one gives a shit about my MH or my nuclear family's Christmas and I have had enough.

Apparently, they are very upset. I am very upset about always carrying the load for everyone else and that I was put in a position of having 5 extra people come over to my house when I only invited 2 of them.

WIBU

You've done the right thing, well done x

Good for you for standing up for yourself. Enjoy a quiet Christmas with your nuclear family, sounds like just what you need

Sounds like you should have said no years ago, well done OP x

I think I am a nice, generous person. It generally works out well for me as I have equally nice, generous friends and relatives. However, there are a few people who just think this is a green light to take the complete piss and milk as much out of DH and I as possible and I have had enough.

Nah. Just order a curry and take it easy

Plenty of time for them to get their own turkey and sprouts.

Enjoy the peace, in my experience if they don't try strong arming in the first 24 hours - they move onto a new target :)

I'm in another (Eu) country and a strict lockdown starts today until January.
It's not a normal Christmas, YANBU

Well done OP. I hope this is the first of many Christmases when no one takes advantage of you!

YANBU.
Anyway, this year, just because we are allowed to meet up, doesn't mean we should.

Enjoy, we did this 3 years ago and loved it just the 4 of us. You won't go back

YANBU. It's just shitty, thoughtless bad manners to invite people on someone else's behalf, no matter who you are and what your relationship is to the host.

Baffles me how people can't see that being generous off the back of someone else is no generosity at all.

Bollocks to them.

Good! Nice to read about someone a woman actually putting themselves first rather than mentally exhausting themselves through Christmas martyrdom. Anyone messages you about how disappointed/upset/angry they are, just turn it right back at them with your own feelings of being used/fed up. You were not put on this earth to make everyone else Christmas easy. Hope you and your family enjoy a chill, guilt free Christmas.

Have a lovely peaceful stress free Christmas

And make sure you tell them exactly why you've cancelled!!

This year is a weird one for celebrating holidays. Other religions haven’t been able to celebrate with their families as they would usually. There has been no Pesach, Jewish New Year, Ramadan, Eid or Diwali festivities so why should Christmas be any different.

Do what suits and your family and maybe you will find it is the start of a new tradition rather than getting together with people you wouldn’t otherwise see

If you cancelled Christmas with agreement of DH, then YANBU

If you took the decision unilaterally, and it's his family you cancelled, then YABU to do it without discussing with him

Good for you! It really isn't the year to be gathering and now you can ditch the freeloaders too. They've still got time to buy food in.
Do you want to share any of the back story?

Good for you! They have time to make their own shopping/catering arrangements, it’s not like you cancelled last minute.

Let’s hope this signals the end of you being taken for granted.

Yanbu well done op have a fabulous Christmas!

You did the right thing. Preserving good mental health should be high priority.

Good on you. I think a lot of people have really thought this year who they really want to spend Christmas with. I used to have my parents and in laws round, along with my 2 children, my dad always gave me £100 towards the cost.

The parents are no longer alive, so it’s just us and my brother this year.

Good for you. I used to get trampled on every Xmas. Was guilted in to hosting people who took the piss out of me and were hateful to me all year so they could sit in my house all day, get pissed and eat my food.

The year I stopped doing that there was a fall out but at least things changed.

I bet you are envied by many op. Good on you.

Well done for not putting up with the total freeloaders - as they have shown themselves to be.
Please keep us posted, it really is nice to read that they are not getting away with it any longer!

Good! Keep strong, do not be drawn into reconsidering.

Enjoy a peaceful, quiet, stress- and hassle-free Christmas!