AIBU - I've cancelled Christmas

[CancelledChristmas]

This morning I cancelled our Christmas plans. I won't go into the outing family dynamics of who was invited but I can say that I was railroaded into doing Christmas lunch once again because of other peoples laziness and reluctance to put their hand in their deep pockets.

I've just had enough. I have a bag of shit going on in my life right now and we are neighbouring a hotspot that will soon spread into where I live. No one cares about bringing Covid into my house so now I am putting my foot down and have said NO. The shit will hit the fan and I will be persona non grata but I am overwhelmed at the moment and no one gives a shit about my MH or my nuclear family's Christmas and I have had enough.

Apparently, they are very upset. I am very upset about always carrying the load for everyone else and that I was put in a position of having 5 extra people come over to my house when I only invited 2 of them.

WIBU

Wow 98% YANBU, I hope that reassures you OP

I assume those other 2% hit the wrong button because you are SO not being unreasonable

Good for you!!!

Well done OP and you gave them loads of notice.

Over the years I have come across lots of wo.en who don't like Christmas because it has always been such a burden for THEM and the expectations that others place on them.

Those that eventually rejected these expectations, universally wished they had done so earlier and have NEVER regretted it.

Look after your MH OP, it is beyond precious.

Well done @CancelledChristmas

Sod them all.

Enjoy your day, doing what you want to do with people you want to do it with!

YANBU
Pisstakers need telling.

What are they all crying about, being stuck with their own company for an extra day?

I really dislike ( putting it mildly) Christmas. Ridiculous for one day, I loathe the waste, clutter( especially gift wise)and the complicated family dynamics. YANBU

Good for you, It seems from reading on here, that many many people find Christmas very stressful, for all sorts of reasons, when ideally, it should be happy and peaceful and lovely within our families. As I am an oldie,it really was a happier time years ago, but now there are so many problems involved within lots of families.

Having a nice simple Christmas should make you happy, despite not being able to see many people this year.

yoyo1234

Christmas can be whaever you want it to be.
It isn't just one day in my house- it lasts a month.

We have 5 children. In consequence, every year we have them asking if they can bring friends who would otherwise be alone, workmates who have never experienced Christmas, we have Elderly relatives, lonely neighbours. Ds1s Dad comes every year!, we split up 30 years ago. He’s never so much as brought a box of crackers. Some of them work in the NHS, and the last 2 years we have had 2 complete Christmas days so they don’t miss out. 12-14 both days.
Every year someone tells me that they aren’t any extra work because we have so many people. Every year someone complains that they weren’t comfortable.Our pets get blamed for creating chaos.Someone drinks too much, someone is unwell. At least one row. I fucking hate it.
This year we will be 5 for Christmas Day and 6 for Boxing Day, and that will be sandwiches. I am so excited to finally get a manageable Christmas. Hold the line! I’m never going back.

Stick with it - future Christmases will be so much nicer with just your own family!

Bloody well done, OP. It would be good if rather than the shit hitting the storm the people concerned had a bit more respect for you now.

Fan! Hitting the fan

You are not being unreasonable op! Well done for putting yourself first. Enjoy xmas x

If you took the decision unilaterally, and it's his family you cancelled, then YABU to do it without discussing with him

Nope, not if it was unilaterally decided without consulting OP that she would be hosting and cooking for everyone else against her wishes.

This is a year like no other. You must do what is best for your MH. We are all totally frazzled and nobody needs visitors they don't want!

OP I felt a little lift of joy in my heart when I read this. I dont even know you and I am proud of you! I am bracing myself to tell my own family to shove off for various reasons and you have given me strength. Well done!

An update OP? Especially on how your now uninvited guests are managing Christmas? perhaps they're forming a bubble?

@Trousersareoverrated

Isn’t this a little late to be cancelling?

No

Good for you! I've put my foot down this year too, my parents expected us to still go as usual - along with my brother. 8 of us sat round a table. No thanks, we will visit but on a much smaller scale. They're disappointed but my brother is coming from tier 3, we're pretty low here as is my parents, but I work in education, DS2 is at school until Friday and whilst DS1 has been having virtual college lessons for the last couple of weeks he is hoping to get to rugby training next week so he won't be totally isolated, I just don't think it's worth the risk.

And I'm looking forward to a quiet one at home with my children, so there!!

Good for you for putting yourself first, it's been a very weird and difficult year and you're allowed to say no. Hope you have a lovely, relaxing little family Christmas.

Well done for putting your foot down. No one should have to have univited people coming over, especially at the moment when it really isn't acceptable.

NB, you may have done this, but I find when saying no to people, it helps to make an alternative offer (but only to the original invited people in your case!), eg 'When it's allowed again and safe, I'd love to cook a meal for you'

Well done!!!!!

I've always had a soft spot for the Sheriff of Nottingham...

No update sorry. I don't expect immediate comeback on it. I might get a call and emotional blackmail in a few days or I might get a very cold shoulder on Christmas Day on the phone. I don't expect anything to happen about it. I've said it and I'm sticking to it.