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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask something you’d love that you can’t ever have

333 replies

GrinchnotHinch · 14/12/2020 21:26

Is there anything in this world you would love to do or have that just isn’t an achievable goal? You know when people say you can achieve anything if you set your mind to it? Well, the thing you can’t have either way.

Mine would be to adopt a child. I have all the love in my heart to give to adoptive children, I know I could love them just as my own and deal with the challenges unconditionally. Unfortunately I have a mental health diagnosis, two previous (malicious) reports to Social Services and a DP who doesn’t feel the same on the subject. I do have biological children but I will always dream of adopting.

Is there anything for you?

OP posts:
msrobot · 15/12/2020 00:34

My biggest wish would be to have an average sized nose and get rid of my cystic acne. I’m not even picky enough to demand small, I just hate having Michael Portillo’s nose as a female. I know plastic surgery exists (had consultations with few surgeons however they said due to my skin type I’m not a candidate for reduction rhinoplasty - still heartbroken)

I think some often presume those who wish to change their appearance are too vain and superficial which is unfair and dismissive to how much of a toll insecurities take on you. Also it’s not as if it’s just in my head either as I know many people who feel entitled to pick apart others appearance. Not all of us have crazy expectations or want to look like a Kardashian - I just want to look average.

Also would prefer to not have ASD as I really struggle to find work, or meet any employer willing to give someone awkward like me a chance 😅

akerman · 15/12/2020 00:36

A mother who could love me unconditionally and who didn’t hit me and tell me I was shit.

Or to stop longing for a mother.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 15/12/2020 00:37

I would like to be resilient, please.
So sick of taking forever to build up the courage to do something, getting knocked back and being completely destroyed by it.

Clevererthanyou · 15/12/2020 00:39

To have a degree. I’ve tried seven times to pass a maths GCSE and it’s impossible. I’ve tried getting into level 3 courses but I couldn’t pass the pre enrolment assessments never mind do the course. I have cheerfully accepted that I am just a bit thick 😂😂

Unicant · 15/12/2020 00:40

I'd like to do a degree in art history.... but I won't ever be able to because I dont even have A levels and I have two children 2yo and 5yo... I dont work at the moment because my husband is a nurse and I was only on minimum wage so it would've cost us more as a family because of childcare if I worked... so I've basically no idea how I'd finance it, where I'd get the free time and what on earth job I'd do with that degree afterwards anyway.... so one for if I win the lottery maybe

iswhois · 15/12/2020 00:44

To be an astronaut

To be skinny and gorgeous. I didn't make the most of it when my body was in good shape. It's not gonna happen now.

QueenPaws · 15/12/2020 00:46

To have my horse back Sad
To get married and have children
To be able to exercise - I start a drug on Thursday which if I don't have a reaction to it, and if it works could possibly (every single thing crossed) solve this

SkiingIsHeaven · 15/12/2020 00:52

I really want to learn how to break dance but I am 48, short and chubby. I don't think it is possible.

lovelemoncurd · 15/12/2020 00:53

To be able to pay of the remainder of the mortgage now so that DH can retire and then get rid of his awful migraines.

Wafflingonagain · 15/12/2020 00:54

I would love to be able to afford to have my breasts reduced. I have constant back pain and my shoulders have permanent dips in the from my straps. I’m a 32HH, they ruin my life I have no confidence and am constantly trying to hide them

HerRoyalNotness · 15/12/2020 00:56

To Go back 6 years and make a different decision. Then hopefully I wouldn’t hate myself so much and my family would be more carefree and happy

Spaghettibetty345 · 15/12/2020 00:57

@GrinchnotHinch

You could probably adopt from abroad. I think there is a lot less restriction.

dhisreadingmypostsagain · 15/12/2020 01:01

To wake up pain free and to go back in time and tell myself when I was pain free to enjoy it!

BashfulClam · 15/12/2020 01:03

To have a child...too much heartbreak that I can’t.

5zeds · 15/12/2020 01:06

I’d like the LA to provide a school for my child.

Italiangreyhound · 15/12/2020 01:14

To be a dancer.

DonkeyMcFluff · 15/12/2020 01:22

To look nice in a bikini. Pregnancy destroyed my body and there’s no coming back from that. And to have a career. I’ve been rejected from jobs repeatedly due to having autism and despite my excellent qualifications nobody would ever hire me for a decent job with prospects. I’d also wish to be in love with someone who loves me back, but I’m too old and broke for anyone to love me now.

DaughterOfEvilReindeer · 15/12/2020 01:29

A baby. I'm nearly 50 and have known I was infertile from my late 20s. I've always accepted it but recently I just want to hold a baby in my arms. Just to feel that small body in my arms, feel that absolute love.

rubydoobydoo · 15/12/2020 01:56

Some of these are very much still possible! Playing instruments, better bodies, dream jobs - all will take a lot of work but if you really want it you can still have it! Currently working in a couple of those myself and although I'm nowhere near close yet I'm getting a little bit closer every day!

Really not comparable to some of the things on here that people could never have no matter how much they wanted it.

justjuggling · 15/12/2020 01:56

I would like to know what it’s like to be truly loved in a relationship. It must be absolutely wonderful to know that someone always has your back and that your happiness is important to them. I’m probably too old to find that now but I’ll always wish I knew how it felt to be really loved.

PolkadotGiraffe · 15/12/2020 02:16

The ability to teleport.

Pinkfreesias · 15/12/2020 02:19

I'd love to not be riddled with arthritis and not be suffering with all the problems, pain & disability it causes.

I'd love to be a couple of stone lighter and not flabby.

I also wish I could speak to my grandparents about how life was for them during WW2. I was in my teens when they died and hadn't really developed my interest in history at that point.

And another to do with my history fascination - someone please invent time travel so I can go back, just for short periods, to see what life was like, who was living in my home etc. I would probably pick the Victorian era first, then the 60s.

PolkadotGiraffe · 15/12/2020 02:20

@littlepinkwinky

Eyebrows.I would really love some eyebrows.
Lots of the comments are so sad but this one is odd! Where are your eyebrows?
Bettysnow · 15/12/2020 02:40

This post has really made me think! Reading this for me personally there is nothing i want that i cant have except that i have stood in my own way for too long!

dayslikethese1 · 15/12/2020 02:44

I wish my separated DPs got along and could be in the same so that we could ever have family events (weddings, graduations etc.) occasionally. Instead all these have either been avoided or caused enormous stress and ugliness.