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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask something you’d love that you can’t ever have

333 replies

GrinchnotHinch · 14/12/2020 21:26

Is there anything in this world you would love to do or have that just isn’t an achievable goal? You know when people say you can achieve anything if you set your mind to it? Well, the thing you can’t have either way.

Mine would be to adopt a child. I have all the love in my heart to give to adoptive children, I know I could love them just as my own and deal with the challenges unconditionally. Unfortunately I have a mental health diagnosis, two previous (malicious) reports to Social Services and a DP who doesn’t feel the same on the subject. I do have biological children but I will always dream of adopting.

Is there anything for you?

OP posts:
Maze76 · 14/12/2020 23:50

To go back 20 years, spend as much time as possible with my grandparents who have passed. I wish I hadn’t turned up for my date with the man I ended up marrying, who broke my heart in a million pieces by sleeping with his co worker, and took away the chance to have a child.

ThatDamnKrampus · 14/12/2020 23:51

Build bridges with my Dad before he died alone, I didn't even know he was sick. Sad

My kids not to have ASD and all the problems that have come from it.

Own my own home.

To have got my Irish citizenship before my girls were born (my grandparents are irish, so kids can't claim citizenship as I didn't get it before they were born).

Kingsley08 · 14/12/2020 23:55

‘It’s never too late to be what you might have been’

Sadly, I feel as it is too late for me. I still hold on to those youthful dreams but they are ebbing away further and further each day.

I’d like to have my dad back or for him to communicate somehow with me. I never believed in heaven until he left. I want him to tell me it will all be ok. Because he’s the only person who loved me.

PattyPan · 14/12/2020 23:55

Another one who wishes she could sing. My DP is musical and I wish we could sing together.

There are many things I wish were different about my life and my body (including being overweight, crap hair, etc) but I know the rest of them are within my gift to change.

ilhahih · 14/12/2020 23:56

A solo career on the musical instrument I took up as an adult.

And I want to marry a guy I've only met once because he's absolutely wonderful (ok, he could actually be a real shit but I don't think he is).

myneighboursarerude · 14/12/2020 23:57

A chance to sit down and have a drink with my dad.

He died when I was a child and whilst I knew him as ‘Daddy’ I’ve spent my life hearing what a fantastic bloke he was. Would love to have the chance to meet him as an adult, even for half an hour.

Charcutaria · 14/12/2020 23:59

I'd ask for my brother to have not hit that unlit skip in 1976.

ClaireP20 · 15/12/2020 00:05

@GrinchnotHinch

Is there anything in this world you would love to do or have that just isn’t an achievable goal? You know when people say you can achieve anything if you set your mind to it? Well, the thing you can’t have either way.

Mine would be to adopt a child. I have all the love in my heart to give to adoptive children, I know I could love them just as my own and deal with the challenges unconditionally. Unfortunately I have a mental health diagnosis, two previous (malicious) reports to Social Services and a DP who doesn’t feel the same on the subject. I do have biological children but I will always dream of adopting.

Is there anything for you?

That's interesting because when I was very low after my miscarriage, I didn't go to the doctor to seek help because I always wanted to foster a child and knew this would be brought up if they looked at my medical records.....
ClaireP20 · 15/12/2020 00:06

@Charcutaria

I'd ask for my brother to have not hit that unlit skip in 1976.
Oh I'm so sorry x
NerdyBird · 15/12/2020 00:08

To have another baby. DH doesn't want one, and I'm prob too old now anyway.
To not have an autoimmune disease.
To have boundless energy and motivation. Maybe that most of all, I have rarely felt full of energy even when younger. Once when I was on steroids for my condition I felt great, wasn't tired and could get stuff done. Realised it's probably how many people feel as normal. Never had it again despite numerous courses of steroids.

thegcatsmother · 15/12/2020 00:10

Longer legs. I'd love to be 5ft6 or so.

ClaireP20 · 15/12/2020 00:10

@GuiEtVin

Be sexy and have a gorgeous firm body. I'm Almost 37 and it feels too late to sort this shit out. I'm a size 16 and I hate myself
I was size 18 until 2 years ago. Size 10-12 now. Kept off for over 2 years. Weightwatchers meetings is the way to go....pity you're not in Upminster as there us the best group..

Ps i'm 8years older than you..you're a baby!

thegcatsmother · 15/12/2020 00:12

As with NerdyBird not having an autoimmune disease would be good. As she says being on steroids was like being 18 again. It felt like the downwards part of the roller coaster coming off them.

Labobo · 15/12/2020 00:12

@Onlymeandthedognow - did the physical exercise in your youth ruin your health now? Could you get a bit of it back with pilates and yoga?

kaleishorrid · 15/12/2020 00:13

@PomBearWithoutHerOFRS

To have a beautiful gown, and be slim and mobile, and dance a Viennese waltz with a gorgeous talk dark stranger, at 4a.m. in a ballroom lit by candles and chandeliers.... (I may put too much thought into this, it's one of my favourite daydreams and the man looks suspiciously like Sam Elliot )
This is my favourite so far
TheSunIsStillShining · 15/12/2020 00:13

not have crohn's (and the constant little inflammations that come with it from mouth to other side sporadically)
if not that then just the usual:

  • live in a tropical country (hate cold, why did I move here?)
  • do a masters degree for the fun of it
  • do a research project that is fully and well funded.
ClaireP20 · 15/12/2020 00:14

@WhoseThatGirl

A beagle or french bull dog puppy.
Forget those bred dogs - get a poor abandoned dog who's got nobody to love them..you'll feel great as well as saving a dog from lethal injection x
SweetCruciferous · 15/12/2020 00:15

I’d love to look how I did in my mid-20s again and either not age or at least look after my skin better! Second-chance skin please now I’ve broken in the first one please! Grin

It would probably be good to go back and do a few things better but then you wouldn’t have a real life would you?

There are some relationships that I really regret losing.

kaleishorrid · 15/12/2020 00:16

I would love to be able to do something exceptionally well - dance, sing , play chess (yes I have been watching The Queen's Gambit) or even be exceptional at something boring. I am fascinated by people who have an exceptional ability

kaleishorrid · 15/12/2020 00:20

Oh could I have one more please. I would love to be effortlessly slim and love to exercise. I loathe exercise

Ariela · 15/12/2020 00:25

I'd love to have an Endless swimming pool in the garden. I'd use it loads, but frankly in the overall scheme of things a) I cannot justify the cost to buy one and b) I cannot justify the ongoing running expenses of having one. Quite sad about it really, but there are so many other things needed doing, I really cannot be so selfish to spend all that just on a swimming pool.

gg12346 · 15/12/2020 00:25

to start work and have one more biological child !

ChorltonCreamery · 15/12/2020 00:29

My friend’s brother!

AcrossthePond55 · 15/12/2020 00:30

20/20 vision. I'm severely near-sighted and would love to be able to wake and see what time it is without putting on glasses.

I'd also like to be able to play piano and sing opera at professional levels.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/12/2020 00:32

A daughter