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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what's the weirdest reason you have decided to not go on a second date with someone?

522 replies

SnowDogFarts · 14/12/2020 19:58

Just imagine you are on a first date with someone and it's going good until...that moment they say or do something that instantly switches your brain to "nope."

I had a first date with someone after chatting to them for a few weeks. It was going well and we were walking through one of my favourite country parks (beautiful) with a takeaway coffee when he decided to dump the empty cup on the floor, when there were bins dotted around everywhere. And that was the moment right there that couldn't be undone. I guess I don't like litterbugs 🤷‍♀️

So, tell me, what was their crime? Big, small, weird, wonderful or other.

OP posts:
Mammyloveswine · 14/12/2020 23:47

@HearMeSnore howling at the framed photo of a topless model!

Mine was when I joined match 10 years ago...when they used to do the free weekends Grin

This guy seemed lovely, tall.. looking back his pics were all from far away/funny angles..

Anyway arranged to meet in the pitcher and piano... he was running late, never mind, I had a glass of wine...apologies he was on his way and wouldn't be long... stupidly I got a second glass of wine..

Eventually he appears... my heart sank.

He was wearing a shit-brown knitted jumper, with a knitted orange scarf and he had teeth like a ratsConfused

Anyway he offered me a drink so I figured I'd have one to be polite.."large Chardonnay please"..he comes back with my wine and a pink drink in a tumbler for him with a fucking cocktail umbrella and cherries in it. I asked what he was drinking..

Cranberry juice

Awful.

TheGremlinsAreComing · 14/12/2020 23:50

There seems to be a few of us who got the gym bunny guy! And quickly binned them off

Ritascornershop · 14/12/2020 23:50

I had a first date with a man who referred to my very slightly curly hair as “wild”. I thought “if you think that’s wild I don’t think you could handle sex with me.” It just seemed a sign he’d led a very sheltered life.

IndieTara · 14/12/2020 23:52

@Londoncatshed I've had the wanting g to draw me too . And sculpt me...

myneighboursarerude · 14/12/2020 23:54

Dumped a lad at nineteen because he had awful taste in trainers.

Gave him another chance because I felt bad. I married the fucker and have been stuck with him for a decade now. His fashion sense has greatly improved!

GreenlandTheMovie · 14/12/2020 23:56

I got bounced into a date with an older man once. As in, a mutual friend gave me a lift to a sports event and then claimed that she had to take someone else home who lived in a different part of the city, so x would give me a lift instead (they both admitted later it was a set up - god knows why because I'm sure I mentioned to them both that I'm not into older men).

He started the chat in his car. He ciearky thought himself much more worldly wise/knowledgeable on all topics and wealthier than me, and was quite patronising. In reality, I was better educated and had at least as good a job. He didn't even have a particularly nice car.

One of his comments was criticising how (female) teenagers dressed - apparently their legs were also too skinny and their chests too large, and he referred to them as "tits on sticks".

By this point, I was desperate to get away, but he pulled into a pub/restaurant car park and announced he would treat me for lunch. I'd just started a strict diet and refused to eat (I would have eaten for a man I'd fancied) so I had to sit through two courses of his drivel while sipping a glass of water. He was so repeatedly rude to the waiter that the waiter started being quite sarcastic to him. I virtually ran away once he pulled up outside my flat.

After a few days, the mutual friend (not really a very close friend, more of a hobby acquaintance) contacted me to say that "despite some areas that needed ironing out, x liked me and wanted to see me again. I'm afraid at this point, I had had enough and let rip, telling her exactly what I thought not only of x but of her choice in men.

Neither she, x or any of their other friends have ever spoken to me again. I know what is is like to be shunned. They give me dirty looks when they see me and Ive been told they gossip about me. It's sheer bliss.

It doesnt end there because another man (this one in his early sixties) hangs around with them but didnt know of my shunning and kept messaging me trying to get me to go out on a date with him. Fortunately, I already knew of his terrible reputation for sleeping with anyone and everyone, not that I'd be tempted anyway.

No idea why all these people don't just go out with each other, but the men seem to want younger women and the women seem to facilitate it to keep the "honour" of hanging around with them. It's all a bit Ghislsine Maxwell...

HollowTalk · 15/12/2020 00:01

Two, both to do with money.

One had a little leather purse and counted the money for a drink out to the penny. It was the look on his face as he counted that really put me off.

The other one... well, he paid for the meal (I'd paid a lot in travel to meet him) and I could see he wasn't going to leave a tip. I left some money, put on my jacket and realised he'd taken the tip. Never Again.

tensmum1964 · 15/12/2020 00:02

Nore, that made me laugh out loud 🤣

Recruit2020 · 15/12/2020 00:05

One had 5 kids by 5 different women he was 23.
One didnt like dogs I literally upped and left it was an arranged double date. My friend was mortified. Life is too short.
One had terrible BO

Olivetreekeeper · 15/12/2020 00:07

He text me within a few minutes of us saying goodbye to review the kiss we had. I didn't respond until I got home (maybe 50minutes) and he freaked out that I'd taken so long to get back to him, and it was obviously because the kiss was bad (it actually wasn't). He the text me constantly every ten minutes for days.
I'll admit to ghosting him, though it wasn't a term used then! He then text me telling me how distraught he was I wasn't putting the effort into the relationship he was... (We had met once). I finally text him back telling him to bugger off. I didn't hear anything more until about 3 months later when he messaged me on MySpace (LOL) to say he was sorry he hadn't handled things well and our friendship was too important to lose over a small thing like a bad kiss. I ignored him.
I should point out I was 17 and he was 26.
Thank god my spider senses went off!!

OohImBlindedByTheLights · 15/12/2020 00:14

First date, was in the motor trade so was nice to meet someone from a different franchise/dealership.... anyway, getting on great until at the very end after a goodbye kiss, he wapped "it" out and proceeded to tell he couldn't help it cause he found me so attractive.....!!! Swiftly blocked him after that!

Aquamarine1029 · 15/12/2020 00:17

He told me I was his "dream girl" no less than 8 times, Hmm, and said he wanted me to meet his mum the following weekend.

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 15/12/2020 00:20

Got asked if I had any gynaecological problems as he wanted a baby 'soon' and the last women he dated had endometriosis so that was no good for him.

thenightsky · 15/12/2020 00:21

A tremor so bad he couldn't get the food to his mouth in a tidy manner and his drink shook out of the glass. I asked if he was ill or something, but he said no, it only happened on dates.

Fungster · 15/12/2020 00:23

He asked me if I swam competitively (completely out of nowhere) because "I had the shoulders for it" ☹️ I left shortly afterwards and have had a lifelong paranoia about my linebacker shoulders ever since.

helpingmyself · 15/12/2020 00:25

I meet this guy online .. he turned up on scooter.. took his helmet off asked me to wipe the snort off his face yuk ! Then I didn't want to be rude stood in coffee shop queue he told me didn't wear any underwear & how he shaved all his hair off body including underarms !! I wanted to run for hills .. it got worse he said all people over the age of 40 wet the bed .. I made my excuses & left .. he keep texting me I said sorry but no ! .. and he called me next day I blocked then 😂

happystone · 15/12/2020 00:25

In restaurant and he bent over to pick phone up at the same time let out a massive load fart right in my face everyone looked and it smelt like cows shit.

ClaireP20 · 15/12/2020 00:28

They didn't pay the bil. They wanted me to go 'Dutch'. They turned up in nice jeans and t'shirt, whereas I've spend lots of money on new dress, blow dry, make up, new nails, spray tan.

Turns out I'm a feminist until the bill comes.

DonkeyMcFluff · 15/12/2020 00:33

First date, the guy dropped me off and came in for a coffee. Everything was going great until he looked at my little poodle snoozing on the sofa and said “Do you think the dog could go in the kitchen while I’m here?” Erm, nope.

On the other hand, I’ve also been dumped on the first date. We met in a coffee shop, he ordered cake and offered me some, and I said no thanks I have a wheat allergy. Then he looked at me and said “I’m sorry, I just don’t see myself with someone who can’t eat a pizza” and he left! 😂

Ritascornershop · 15/12/2020 00:39

I’ve gotten into relationships with idiots who spring this stuff down the line always. Last one I really adored but he would not stop saying “I wish I could sculpt because I would love to sculpt you” & it was so cheesy, and made me feel like “I know you’ve said this to every woman you’ve ever slept with” & yup, he turned out to be very much a ladies’ man and sex pest and just needed attention from a few women at a time (so was always at least pursuing if not yet sleeping with one extra). I wish he’d shown this side of himself on the first date!

Katkincake · 15/12/2020 00:40

He picked me up in a really old massive Mercedes that looked like something Saddam Hussein would have been driven about in.

I was in my fickle, image obsessed 20s Blush

Mookie81 · 15/12/2020 00:42

@Katkincake

He picked me up in a really old massive Mercedes that looked like something Saddam Hussein would have been driven about in.

I was in my fickle, image obsessed 20s Blush

This has made me laugh so much! Grin
AlwaysLatte · 15/12/2020 00:46

I was on a blind date with someone. He was telling me over dinner in a restaurant that he was looking for someone TO MOTHER him. His exact words. I was looking forward to the meal ending so I could forget him ASAP but when I popped to the ladies and saw that the window was very large and easily accessible that did it for me and I left. No second date, obviously!!!

RollneckJumper · 15/12/2020 01:13

During first date he told me continuously how much he liked to "shnuggle", and asked me several times if I liked shnuggles. He also went on to say how much he'd like us to shnuggle up together on his sofa.

Instant "ick" !

Needless to say, there was no second date.

lovelemoncurd · 15/12/2020 01:53
  1. Two friends set me up on a date with their colleague who was a psychiatrist. We had drinks at his flat and he played endless cheesy Billy Joel all night. I was into Leftfield and Orbital and I never contacted him again for a second date. 10 years later whilst collecting my daughter from school I see him in the playground. He's married to one of the other mums. We didn't acknowledge we had ever met.
  1. My housemate had a friend she set me up with. He was a TV producer. We went to the cinema and he talked none stop about the film in my ear. I told him to shut up. He carried on trying to date me for about a year. I never did. He's a multi millionaire now. Still glad I put an end to that though.