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Original poster

To ask what's the weirdest reason you have decided to not go on a second date with someone?

522 replies

SnowDogFarts · 14/12/2020 19:58

Just imagine you are on a first date with someone and it's going good until...that moment they say or do something that instantly switches your brain to "nope."

I had a first date with someone after chatting to them for a few weeks. It was going well and we were walking through one of my favourite country parks (beautiful) with a takeaway coffee when he decided to dump the empty cup on the floor, when there were bins dotted around everywhere. And that was the moment right there that couldn't be undone. I guess I don't like litterbugs 🤷‍♀️

So, tell me, what was their crime? Big, small, weird, wonderful or other.

OP posts:
TheGremlinsAreComing · 14/12/2020 22:39

I don't think I've ever had a good first date, looking back. Even the one with the guy I ended up marrying (now exh) was hit and miss. He was nice looking and funny and I fancied him like mad, but he was very intense and talked about himself a lot, his crappy childhood, his psycho ex.. Not enough to put me off though, obviously!

GammyLeg · 14/12/2020 22:41

He referred to women as "girlies".

Sidge · 14/12/2020 22:42

The guy who referred to his children as “the kiddiwinks”.

The guy who spent 99% of the date explaining his gym routine to me. “So Monday is shoulders, so I do seventy billion shoulder presses and lat pull downs. Tuesday is chest so I do seventy billion bench presses of nine hundred kilos. Wednesday is abs so I do seventy billion crunches (oblique and regular) blah blah blah blah blah....”.

The guy who had a beard and kept twirling the ends of his moustache.

evilharpy · 14/12/2020 22:45

Would have been around 1998 or 1999. I snogged him in the pub one night when very drunk and we arranged to meet up the following night. He turned up in black jeans, a red shirt and a black leather waistcoat. It gave me the immediate ick and there was no second date.

TheGremlinsAreComing · 14/12/2020 22:49

@Sidge I've recently binned off someone I was chatting with for that reason - the gym one. We hadn't met yet but every time we messaged he gave me his full workout regime and barely ever asked what I was up to. It's great having a passion but good lord at least feign a little interest in the other person Confused

Bluejeantreefrog · 14/12/2020 22:51

Saw him walking towards me with his jacket hooked on his finger over his shoulder. Hung it up when we got in the pub.
Another..tight leather trousers with boots

GammyLeg · 14/12/2020 22:53

@Sidge and @TheGremlinsAreComing

I dated this guy too!! He also did the actions, as if I needed an illustration of what a dead lift or squats were.

Sidge · 14/12/2020 22:54

@TheGremlinsAreComing exactly! I like a guy who works out and takes care of himself but jeez some men just take it too far.

And yes please ask a little bit about me. Dating should be a two way information exchange!

Mrsdoubtfireswig · 14/12/2020 22:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Amerimoon · 14/12/2020 22:56

His body language was feminine and he was shy/ low self confidence. He was sweet but I couldn’t fancy him EVER.

Sidge · 14/12/2020 22:57

@GammyLeg poor you! Join the club lol.

Gym bunnies are a weird group - they can look amazing, and I admire their dedication but omg they can be so boring. And you can’t go out to eat because eeek carbs, or they don’t drink. And whilst I enjoy the gym, run and lift weights I don’t want to spend all night talking about it!

Laiste · 14/12/2020 22:58

Mrsdoubtfireswig

Thank you for clarifying Grin

YUK!

MRC20 · 14/12/2020 23:02

Lovely chap, his coat smelled though. You know that smell when something's been washed and left in the machine. It was all I could think about and ruined the mood 🤣🤣🤣

Natsel84 · 14/12/2020 23:02

First date with someone , arranged to pick me up .

Got in his car , commented on how nice it was .

He said yeah my ex girlfriend picked it .. kinda killed it for me

ladamanera · 14/12/2020 23:13

I was a student and he was a flash record producer. Took me to a restaurant and I kept an eye on the prices and reckoned I could defs afford half. What I didnt realise was that he’d dropped £550 on a bottle of Wine. Soon found that out though, when the bill came and he said sarcastically “you’ll get this wont you?” And Then Got Up and HID IN THE LOO.
My pride at the suggestion I “wouldnt” get it and was somE sort of golddigger meant I tried to pay and never see him again- but my card was declined. I had to call my dad and get him to read card number down phone.
Dad furious at both man and me for paying.

Man comes out of loo as I was walking out of restaurant and told me I’d passed the golddigfer tesr and could be his girlfriend if I wanted. He told everyone we knew that I was an incomprehensible, fussy, frigid bitch when I said no.

I occasionally see him at parties with glamorous but faintly trapped looking young women and wonder whether he made them pass the “golddigger test” too

Macaroni46 · 14/12/2020 23:16

Oh my, so many.
The widowed guy who said no one could ever replace his wife but that he needed someone to be a mother to his children. He also had a fungal nail thing going on - there was no way his hands were going to touch me. He proceeded to tell he how his wife died. The story was so long and drawn out that by the time he'd finished (and cried) I was desperate for the loo but felt it would be callous to get up instantly so I had to hold on a bit longer. When I pointed out that he basically wanted a replacement mum and women who was happy to be second best and asked what was in it for her, he seemed genuinely surprised.
The self important deputy head who 'dismissed' me after my allocated hour of his time as he had papers to mark (I am a teacher myself).
The guy who told me his daughter was his world 🤮and that he was amazing. He was also a wine snob and - this is the hypocritical bit - he was really short (and I'm tiny myself but it put me right off.
The guy whose skin was kind of sticky looking.
The guy who despite having a dreadful stammer never stopped talking. And he was wearing this weird gillet thing with lots of handy pockets.
The guy who talked incessantly about tractors and who couldn't meet on Saturdays because that's when he did his washing.
The guy who said teaching young children was a doddle.
The guy who wore work shoes with a dirty sports kit (not a first date but certainly the last!)
Etc etc
It's a grim world out there ...

Macaroni46 · 14/12/2020 23:18

Oh yeah and the guy who invited me into the back of his van ...

Destinysdaughter · 14/12/2020 23:20

Not really a weird reason but about 10 years ago I want on a date with a guy I'd met on Guardian Soulmates. We'd had lots of chats on the internet and he seemed great. He was attractive, intelligent, ran a disability charity, went to festivals etc.

So we met in a pub in Soho and the first thing was, he was only about 5ft 3, I'm not particularly into tall men but that's 2 inches shorter than me.

So we then went for lunch in a lovely Thai restaurant and we were chatting about previous relationships. He said that his last relationship ended when his girlfriend's male friends beat him up. I asked why and he said cos he's a female to male transsexual! I would have had no idea as he had stubble and a receding hairline.

Nothing against transmen but not my thing and I felt it was pretty dishonest to not have disclosed it beforehand...

LisaLee333 · 14/12/2020 23:22

@TheGremlinsAreComing @Sidge right with you.

Gym bunnies/fitness freaks are SO boring. I know a fella who is in a running group, and he has 2 kids (and an ex wife,) and out of 73 pictures on his facebook, I shit you not, 63 are of him, and 60 of those 63, are of him running, some with his face contorted like he is reeeeally into it.

One person said 'need a shit mate?' and he said 'that's the face of work and effort, and giving every last drop of everything you have got, to the run!' PMSL.

Also, yeah they never drink. And I know I will get bashed for this, but going out to the pub - or to a bar - with a man who is teetotal is crushingly boring. I know someone right now, whose husband gave up drinking 3 years ago, and she hasn't even been to the pub with him since Spring last year (2019,) because it was SO boring being with him. He just sat there with his water, twiddling his thumbs and asking what time they're going, and he wanted to be gone by nine, as he was a bit weary. Confused

When you drink and the person you are with doesn't, socialising with them is painfully dull. You also get the 'fucking alkie' comment if you dare have a third glass of wine, even when you've had no booze for a month! Teetotal for a partner? Nah, fuck that. And no fitness obsessives or gym bunnies either.

GlowingOrb · 14/12/2020 23:24

I couldn’t remember how to pronounce his name.

Spasiba · 14/12/2020 23:27

Not me, but a friend.
Found out he was a very competitive cyclist and that he shaved his legs to avoid wind resistance, or something like that.
She said she couldn't go out with a man who shaved his legs.

HearMeSnore · 14/12/2020 23:38

Went to visit an old school friend in her university town and had a bit of a flirtation with a guy she house-shared with. Briefly. Until I saw the picture of a topless model cut out of a porn magazine, in a frame on his bedside table.

Jjjjjj1981 · 14/12/2020 23:42

Not a date but had a coffee with a guy who had asked me out a number of times, I had my rather fractious one year old DS with me at the time.
DS spilled water on his trousers and he was over the top HORRIFIED, like genuinely could not believe DS would have done that. Then as we were leaving he asked what I was doing now, I must be going home just to sleep since I had nothing else to do.
Ranks as the stupidest thing anyone has ever said to me, I can’t remember what I replied but he was never going to get a date after that. Even before I had a child I knew they needed some kind of looking after!

fafffdri12 · 14/12/2020 23:42

He was a lot shorter than I expected and then started telling me roy chubby brown jokes and looking out of the corner of his eye laughing to check if I was laughing

Another guy told me he wrote erotic story's.
Then he sent me a story he had wrote with me starring in it. Then he wanted to meet me at a hotel and play it out.
Safe to say it never went as far as a first date.
Looking back I think I was almost murdered....

BewaretheIckabog · 14/12/2020 23:46

Met in a really nice bar.

Took me to dinner. Said something about having been away for a while. Asked me if I’d googled him. I hadn’t.

Went home and googled him. He had been away at Her Majesty’s Pleasure after being involved in serious drug dealing, stuffing half a million quid in to holdalls and flying to South America.

No second date.