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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask what's the weirdest reason you have decided to not go on a second date with someone?

522 replies

SnowDogFarts · 14/12/2020 19:58

Just imagine you are on a first date with someone and it's going good until...that moment they say or do something that instantly switches your brain to "nope."

I had a first date with someone after chatting to them for a few weeks. It was going well and we were walking through one of my favourite country parks (beautiful) with a takeaway coffee when he decided to dump the empty cup on the floor, when there were bins dotted around everywhere. And that was the moment right there that couldn't be undone. I guess I don't like litterbugs 🤷‍♀️

So, tell me, what was their crime? Big, small, weird, wonderful or other.

OP posts:
TroysMammy · 14/12/2020 21:52

He wore sovereign rings and a few chunky gold necklaces.

Laiste · 14/12/2020 21:54

''he made sarcastic comments ‘err well ive never talked about xx on a date before’ then weed on all over his jeans.''

Sorry?! He made sarcastic comments and then wee'd all over his jeans ??

eeek88 · 14/12/2020 21:55

We went into a bookshop. He collected a small pile of self-help / mindfulness books (Red Flag #1), and when his card declined he whipped out his credit card and made some comment about how life's too short to worry about money (Red Flag #2). I could just about live with the self-help books, but couldn't live with somebody with such small regard for his future financial situation that he used a credit card to buy unnecessary items.

XmasHollie · 14/12/2020 21:57

He told me about his genital warts

Wiredforsound · 14/12/2020 21:58

Had exactly the same voice as my boss. It was like he was doing impressions of him. Couldn’t imagine myself ever snogging that.

Rainbowandscarlett · 14/12/2020 22:00

This happened to my mate-she met a fella,flirted and agreed to a date

They went out for coffee and for some reason she got really weird vibes from him that she hadn’t had before so made her excuses and left

She got a text from him the next day-and ignored it

Another a few days later-she ignored that too

This went for for weeks-I told her to message back saying she’d changed her mind but she refused and lived in terror of him coming to our work (which he did but she wasn’t on shift)

Anyway about a month after the date he messaged-hi X hope your well
I just wanted to know if you where up for another date
Maybe dinner?id have to be back by ten as the hospital will phone the police on me-I wish the parol board would release me-I’ve done my time for her murder and I would never do something like that again
Hope to hear from you soon

She freaked right out-the police had to ban him from coming to our work (which he didn’t after they had a chat with him) and although she can laugh about it now-the fact he can freely walk round in public between 7am-10pm is disgusting-she saw him last month in cafe nero,living without a care in the world

Mine was a chap I met online-date went well,we arranged to meet again soon

We messaged me the following day asking me for money to cover the chips he bought the night before and was ‘disappointed that we didn’t have sex-I would have written off the money if we had’

I transferred him £1.90 just to get rid (he didn’t know where I lived but i just wanted him gone-with no excuse to contact me again-I didn’t want to ‘owe’ him anything) and he messaged back saying I owed him 20p!

I never sent the 20p and blocked him on my phone

I met my now-partner a month later

TheGremlinsAreComing · 14/12/2020 22:02

First proper date ever I was 17, set up by a workmate and met this guy outside KFC with his 2 kids in tow. Thank you, next!

Of course now it wouldn't bother me to date a man with children, but I still wouldn't find it appropriate to bring them on a date with a complete stranger!

There was the guy who gave me a really bad case of glandular fever. No second date for him.

One just wanted to show off his car (Subaru), and drove so fast he got pulled. No second date for him.

And then there was the one who arranged to meet me at a pub on our first date, (his words), and when I got there it was him and his workmates gathered for an after work pint and not actually a date at all.

Ducksarenotmyfriends · 14/12/2020 22:02

Told me he was writing a book that was like "Buffy and Angel but without all the vampires and shit", just about them as people. And he wrote articles for a furniture magazine "just for fun".

coconuttyhead · 14/12/2020 22:04

@Laiste

''he made sarcastic comments ‘err well ive never talked about xx on a date before’ then weed on all over his jeans.''

Sorry?! He made sarcastic comments and then wee'd all over his jeans ??

This! Did he wee over his jeans to emphasise his sarcasm?!
Ducksarenotmyfriends · 14/12/2020 22:05

Another told me he was an "ultra capitalist". No thanks.

thetaleunfolds · 14/12/2020 22:08

He made me watch a TV show about bears on our first date. It's been a running joke with my friend for almost 10 years now

Simplyunacceptable · 14/12/2020 22:13

He tried to make a game out of making me guess which countries in Asia he hadn’t visited because he thought I’d struggle I think. My first guess was Iraq to which he replied ‘oh come on now, be serious’ so next guess was Afghanistan. Transpired he’d only actually visited India, Thailand, Japan and China and was ultra annoyed I didn’t find this impressive.

He then pulled out his backpack at the end of the date (did find it a bit weird he’d turned up wearing a backpack) and he’d wrapped up two gifts for me. The fact he’d gone to the effort of wrapping them just really freaked me out. He demanded I only opened them when I got home and said I’d be really happy with them. One was a Sylvia Plath book which, to be fair, I do still own. The other was a vinyl, I have never owned a record player because I’m not old or a hipster Grin.

I blocked his number on the way home.

clareyd · 14/12/2020 22:14

We were in a pub. The first hour was him telling me how great Margaret Thatcher was. (@BIRDSbirds I wonder if it is the same man...?)
Then he started telling the couple at the table next to us why Brexit is a brilliant idea. They didn't agree and he started to get more and more angry. The date ended with him standing up, banging the table, shouting 'I love Boris Johnson' and marching out.

lastqueenofscotland · 14/12/2020 22:15

People that don’t/won’t drive are a massive no to me.

I once went on a date with such a lovely man but there was something about his voice that was like nails down a blackboard to meBlush

deste · 14/12/2020 22:16

He had a pair of big gloves on.

Nore · 14/12/2020 22:16

He pronounced hospital ‘hosdubble’.

CandyLeBonBon · 14/12/2020 22:23

He admitted to voting for Brexit and was keen to explain why he admired Trump! Confused

Councilworker · 14/12/2020 22:24

He had the absolute worst leather coat in the world and really big white trainers. Just awful.

happinessischocolate · 14/12/2020 22:25

He just kept gazing into my eyes and saying "you're lovely, you are" I was trying to talk and get to know stuff about him and all I got was "you're lovely, you are" over and over 🙄

Buttercupcup · 14/12/2020 22:25

He had an alarm on his phone that went off to remind him to whip his protein shake out of back pack as he was a body builder and was in strict training, he then proceeded to give a me a 90 minute lecture about how everything he ate/drank and workouts made him ‘top of his game’. His alarm then went off again for his gym session and he asked me to sit outside the gym for 90 minutes and wait for him so we could then continue the date when it was convenient for his training schedule 🤣

FluffyPinkSocks · 14/12/2020 22:28

He was a butcher. I just couldn’t get past his hands being on cold, bloody raw meat. I imagined it under his fingernails.

Laiste · 14/12/2020 22:29

Love this thread.

My two are not as good as some here but anyway:

  1. Baked bean breath. I was unsure about a second date until he leaned in for a kiss and stank of baked beans. Ugh. Mind made up.
  1. Met at a party. He was v.good looking and sure of himself, older than me. I was v.pissed and fell over. He helped me up and walked me home (next door!) He asked if he could pick me up the next day and drive me to his house for coffee. I said yes and it was miles away and when we got to his house it was mahoosive like a mansion. I was v.young and v.impressed! BUT once inside he sat me down in his beautiful lounge, gave me a coffee and for the next 2 hours proceeded to take me through three full photo albums of pictures of ... HIMSELF! Each photo was lovingly pointed at and explained. ''This is me here winning this. That's me there competing at that. There's me in the cadets. There's me winning a cup. That's me there climbing out of that. Here's me and all my muscles. Here's me flicking my wonderful hair ......

YAWN!
I didn't see him again.

Shock
GCAcademic · 14/12/2020 22:30

He stated talking about us living together.

Pebbledashery · 14/12/2020 22:34

@tiredqueen fruits of the loom
Mine wasn't even a second date.. It was a first. I met a guy off the Internet who was quite possibly the biggest cat fish ever.. Pics looked nothing like him.. I mean zero. I was so annoyed at being deceived.. The sheer audacity of it.. We met at an underground station in Central London.. Thankfully nowhere near where I lived.. When I met him on the platform I just knew I couldn't go through with the date... Made an excuse to go to the loo and told him to wait on the platform for me.. I ran to the opposite platform and got on the train the was just about to leave.. Ended up going to the end of the line and back again just to make sure i didn't bump into him 😂 there was no second date to be had given the first one didn't even happen 😅

LisaLee333 · 14/12/2020 22:38

I had a few honkers before I met DH.

I went on a date with one bloke, to a pub in town. An hour in, he told me I wear too much make up, I don't need it, and he hates women wearing lots of make up. 'Women look so much better without it.'

'You don't need make up' is the first sign of a controlling man who thinks he can tell you what to do, and how to look.

That was the first and last date. ^

Next date ...

'You are a decent looking lass, but I'd be lying if I said I'm happy with your figure. I like woman very slim.' I was 19, and 5 ft 3, and 8 stone 12 pounds. Confused

Again, this was the first and last date. ^

Next date...

A man I met in a pub when I was with friends. He asked me on a date, and I accepted. Went 3 days later. He said he was in the navy, and had a £20,000 car (this was over 30 years ago,) and £100,000 in the bank, and had had over 50 girlfriends, (he was 19,) and proceeded to talk about himself constantly, not asking me a single thing about myself.

After an hour and a half, I told him I was going to the 'ladies,' and sneaked out of the back door of the pub. 2 miles walk home it was. Luckily it was July, it was light, and it was warm. I'd have walked 20 miles in the snow in December to be honest, to get away from the boring fucker.

Yep, that was the first and last date! ^

Next date...

Similar to @happinessischocolate I went out with a man who was revoltingly sickly sweet. I kept trying to talk about something very serious, and about something that had happened in politics, and was trying to air my views, and he kept staring at me, with a simpering smile, saying 'awwww, you ladies look so cute when you're trying to be all serious and clever.' Grin

Hmm

Only saw THAT nobhead twice. ^

I have also dumped a couple of blokes in the past, who were obsessed with the gym, fitness, cycling, running, obsessively 'healthy' eating, and protein shakes! Boooooring!