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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is unacceptable?

386 replies

flaviaritt · 14/12/2020 08:07

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9048759/Family-kicked-United-flight-New-Jersey-toddler-refused-wear-mask.html

This family were forced to leave a flight home because their two year old wouldn’t ‘comply’ with mask-wearing.

She’s 2.

Has the world gone mad? Surely it’s common sense that a young child should not be forced into a mask? Surely it’s a violation of the rights of the child to insist upon this?

OP posts:
MagicSummer · 14/12/2020 10:26

So 2 year olds are magically unable to transmit the virus? I think it is perfectly reasonable to insist this child wore a mask - it is the airline policy. No good complaining that they didn't know it was policy after buying tickets.

Mittens030869 · 14/12/2020 10:27

Of course you can get a 2 year old used to wearing a mask. But they would need a lot of time to get used to it. If an airline insists on 2 year olds wearing masks, you either spend time getting your toddler used to wearing one.

I’m finding it difficult to have sympathy for this family, as it does look very much like a publicity stunt (Trump supporters and Covid denying conspiracy theorists). And who needs to go on an aeroplane journey just to go out for a meal with friends?

Original poster
flaviaritt · 14/12/2020 10:27

Why bother posting in AIBU? You clearly think you're right.

Because posting in AIBU is what some people do when they think they are right but want to see what others think.

OP posts:
ChnandlerBong · 14/12/2020 10:28

I'm with those saying that these guys knew the rules - lots of chance to practice before the flight.

TBH the kid doesn't look that distressed - just enjoying the toddler game of refusing to do what she's asked while mummy films.

Mask wearing is political in the States, as is lockdown acceptance. This family are breaking every known lockdown rule by taking a non essential flight to enjoy a large family meal in a high covid rate area. Every reason to believe she is militantly anti mask.

Original poster
flaviaritt · 14/12/2020 10:28

So 2 year olds are magically unable to transmit the virus?

No. They can transmit it. That doesn’t make it okay to abuse them to protect adults who don’t have to be there.

OP posts:
Doingitaloneandproud · 14/12/2020 10:28

Regardless of anyones opinions on it, this is the airlines policy they have decided to implement. If you don't agree with it or don't like it, then you use a different way to travel or different airline. They are within their rights to put this policy in place, a mask over the mouth and nose will not hurt the child or restrict breathing and if you know your child wouldn't keep one on, then you go with another way to get there.
The parents booked the flight knowing the child would be told to wear a mask, they knew they would be kicked off. I agree with the airlines stance on that.

slashlover · 14/12/2020 10:29

Why bother posting in AIBU? You clearly think you're right.

To be fair, flaviaritt is well known for that, and also for replying to every single person and posting every third comment on a thread.

Wheresmykimchi · 14/12/2020 10:30

@flaviaritt

It isn’t the point. I’m not asking whether they should have flown. I’m not asking whether they have a choice about whether to fly. I am asking whether the airline is unreasonable to mandate that toddlers have to wear masks. In and of itself. I’m not interested in the rest of it.
We've been here before Flavia. I don't believe that it is violence or abuse , no.

And of course the surrounding argument is relevant. In any context you can't just pick out the bit you disagree with.

MagicSummer · 14/12/2020 10:31

@flaviaritt

So 2 year olds are magically unable to transmit the virus?

No. They can transmit it. That doesn’t make it okay to abuse them to protect adults who don’t have to be there.

A) the child was not being abused B) the child and family didn't 'have to be there' either
Wheresmykimchi · 14/12/2020 10:32

@flaviaritt

Yeah, that's not weird at all is it. I'm hoping my two year old doesn't remember a time when adults wore masks and were terrified of speaking to other people.

My child will probably remember masks. What she will never remember is the distress of her mother pushing her face into one.

In all seriousness though Flavia, I'd rather my child remembered being made to wear a mask she didn't want to , than had the experience that hundreds and thousands of people are of either losing someone or being on ventilation themselves.
Mittens030869 · 14/12/2020 10:33

If an airline insists on 2 year olds wearing masks, you either spend time getting your toddler used to wearing one.

That should have said, you either get your toddler used to wearing a mask, or you don’t catch a flight with an airline that insists on wearing masks.

Original poster
flaviaritt · 14/12/2020 10:34

Clearly some people think it is fine to force a child into discomfort and distress because they might transmit an illness to adults. What happened to the interests of the child? When did we all become so short-sighted and selfish? Children - practically babies - should not be paying the price of our fear. If you are happy to force a child into a mask, I think you are a coward and an abuser.

OP posts:
Original poster
flaviaritt · 14/12/2020 10:34

But now I have work to do so will leave it there.

OP posts:
Moo678 · 14/12/2020 10:35

I don’t think the policy is inhumane. I think you are being unreasonable. It is just getting used to a new (to us) cultural norm. One of my children liked to be naked at two - was I violent towards her when I forced her to wear clothes in public?

The policy exists. It is up to parents to a) not fly on those airlines that apply this policy
b) book the flight and gently prepare their child to wear a mask
c) leave the flight if their child won’t wear the mask and is becoming upset.

Nobody is advocating violence toward children they are just saying if you wish to use this particular NON ESSENTIAL service then they need to wear a mask. Personally, in the example you provide I believe the parents were being massively unreasonable for putting their child in that position so they could go out for dinner and then filming it and putting it on the internet - that’s your abuse - not the airline’s policy.

ScalpHelp · 14/12/2020 10:36

Girl, you sound mentally ill.

Wheresmykimchi · 14/12/2020 10:36

@flaviaritt

Clearly some people think it is fine to force a child into discomfort and distress because they might transmit an illness to adults. What happened to the interests of the child? When did we all become so short-sighted and selfish? Children - practically babies - should not be paying the price of our fear. If you are happy to force a child into a mask, I think you are a coward and an abuser.
It's not that I think it's fine , I think it's necessary. I don't enjoy it or set out to look for opportunities to do it, but it's necessary whether you like it or not.

I also don't like not seeing my elderly gran for months while she's cooped up in a care home for months with no visitors , which I think is cruelty, but I don't barge in there regardless because I want to.

Not putting a mask on your child and risking other people IS selfish.

Porcupineinwaiting · 14/12/2020 10:37

My children dont remember the distress of being forcibly restrained in their buggies or car seats, or at least they're not traumatised by the memory, so I wouldnt be too worried about this child.

I'm not sure its inherently more cruel to make a small child wear a mask than any other bit of clothing they dont much fancy (shoes were an (un) favourite for mine) it's just that it cant be done in practice because, anatomy.

slashlover · 14/12/2020 10:37

@flaviaritt

Clearly some people think it is fine to force a child into discomfort and distress because they might transmit an illness to adults. What happened to the interests of the child? When did we all become so short-sighted and selfish? Children - practically babies - should not be paying the price of our fear. If you are happy to force a child into a mask, I think you are a coward and an abuser.
So the parents should take a different airline then, surely that is the parents putting the interests of their child first?
Wheresmykimchi · 14/12/2020 10:38

Out of interest @flaviaritt , where would you stand on forcing a mask onto a child of the plane was in trouble?

JillofTrades · 14/12/2020 10:39

Inhumane and violence to a child. Please get a grip. There are many countries where children over 2 are wearing masks fgs!

Wheresmykimchi · 14/12/2020 10:40

@slashlover - exactly. Or not fly to a dinner with friends and family. Interesting that we have become selfish but it's OK for this family to take their non mask wearing child to infect everyone else because they want to.

Wheresmykimchi · 14/12/2020 10:41

@JillofTrades

Inhumane and violence to a child. Please get a grip. There are many countries where children over 2 are wearing masks fgs!
There are also many places where children of that age face real cruelty , abuse, and life and death.
BlackCatShadow · 14/12/2020 10:42

It's a huge hassle for airlines to remove a passenger as they also have to remove their luggage and it means massive delays. I also suspect there was a lot more to this story that happened before they started filming.

EnPoinsettia · 14/12/2020 10:43

Airline should provide oxygenated bubble pods for toddlers.

Nottherealslimshady · 14/12/2020 10:44

Yeah most 2yo dont want to wear masks. So they cant fly with this airline during a pandemic. They were flying to go for dinner with friends so I have zero sympathy. Seem like right arseholes.