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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To find drag queens offensive?

999 replies

MrsMummy500 · 12/12/2020 18:39

AIBU to find drag queens really bloody offensive?

I hate the term offensive, it’s bandied around far too often at far too insignificant things (am aware this may be one of them). BUT, men dressing up as some fetishised version of a man made ideal of a woman really pisses me off. Hyper hair, max make up, drink in hand, revealing clothes.

I do not know a single woman like that. It riles me and I feel like I’m unable to express it as women have lost so much of their space to LGBTQ+ community (I perceive this, I don’t say it as a fact).
potential bomb drop alert but if white people are taken down (rightly IMO) for ‘blacking up’ should it be acceptable for men to parody women in the form of drag queens.

Ps- I do not buy for one minute that they are celebrating the female form with balloon breasts. It feels more like a piss take.

OP posts:

Thread gallery

jellyfrizz · 14/12/2020 07:55

I don’t think most people on this thread have any objection to the gay community, trans people or men who wear ‘women’s clothes’ in their day to day life for comfort.

What people are objecting to is men parodying women through stereotypes for laughs.

Quaagars · 14/12/2020 07:55

Desperate attempts at derailing overnight, when the Transphobe Finders General come out to censor women

No, just pointing out it was a disgusting thing to say and the original comment DID mention trans and drag in the same comment, and referred to as freakery. Then the follow up comment said "no, didn't mean trans people (so why mention them then?) I just meant those on Drag Race! So, drag queens, then?! So sorry, would you prefer we just ignored it instead?! Didn't call it out?

MsTSwift · 14/12/2020 07:57

“Transphobe Finders General”’inspired!

It’s the new way to silence women. We all see it.

Quaagars · 14/12/2020 08:01

It’s the new way to silence women. We all see it.

As if
I mean, look!
We're women on here, me too, having an opinion!
Oh so silenced
Pretend nobody's letting you speak to hide behind foul views and "it's just because I'm a woman" by all means though

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 14/12/2020 08:12

@Quaagars

Desperate attempts at derailing overnight, when the Transphobe Finders General come out to censor women

A thread of nearly 1000 posts, and you're outraged because one poster made a comment you find objectionable? And you expect every other poster to somehow answer for the fact that we had the temerity to continue the original discussion?

Do you 'call out' every post on MN you find offensive?

MsTSwift · 14/12/2020 08:14

Damn right we are not listened to - legislation and provision of female only spaces to be removed - plan was women were not to be even consulted!

Majority of us don’t like mainstream drag - still on bbc 🙄

Quaagars · 14/12/2020 08:17

and you're outraged because one poster made a comment you find objectionable?

No, not "outraged" at all, just saying the fact that people who don't mind drag race and say so get pulled up for shit plopping, but posts like that are absolutely fine and not even commented on, despite being a shit plop too,
Wonder why that could be?!

Quaagars · 14/12/2020 08:19

Damn right we are not listened to - legislation and provision of female only spaces to be removed - plan was women were not to be even consulted!

Er..... it's a thread about drag?
Not trans people?!
People back to conflating the two again?!

Campervan69 · 14/12/2020 08:20

The point is though that misogyny is so, sodeeply ingrainedin society, that you and a few others on here cannot see the correlation. And it's because society has been brainwashed to accept abuse of women as normal, that you cannot see it, no matter how many times or how many different ways it is explained to you, you are conditioned to think abuse of women and misogyny is not 'as serious as racism or transphobia or homophobia'. Do you think anything at all will make you see the reality? And that, yes, like it or not, Womanface isEXACTLYwhat this is

Yes this has been shown so clearly on this thread. It is fascinating to read through actually.

Defenbaker · 14/12/2020 08:23

@Quaagars I don't mind you calling me out for using the word "freakery" in a way that might have caused offence to trans people, which is why I responded and apologised - twice. I do mind that the posts where I clarified my position a bit further, in a calm, measured manner, have been completely disregarded.

Wheresmykimchi · 14/12/2020 08:32

@Quaagars

Wow. Transphobic MN strikes again

Yep!!
I find it REALLY interesting that not one single person has picked up on that apart from you and I.
Fucking disgusting trans and drag referred to as freakery and it's a shit plop like posters say but it's just been ignored.

Also me 😘

Wheresmykimchi · 14/12/2020 08:34

@formerbabe you didn't , but the poster you quoted did. Of course I don't minimise the feelings of children , what a strange leap.

Most children cried and were scared when Scar kills Mufasa , but we haven't banned the Lion King.

Quaagars · 14/12/2020 08:34

I apologise - I did not mean to infer that trans people are freaks. I meant the people who are on that Ru Paul Drag Race show - to me they make themselves look grotesque

Yes, you explained by saying you just meant drag queens.
Much better.

Quaagars · 14/12/2020 08:38

Majority of us don’t like mainstream drag - still on bbc

Nothing wrong with that, we like what we like.
Can you not see a difference between calling them freakery, or "whatever you do keep them away from my children" amongst other things said on the thread?

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 14/12/2020 08:39

[quote Defenbaker]@Quaagars I don't mind you calling me out for using the word "freakery" in a way that might have caused offence to trans people, which is why I responded and apologised - twice. I do mind that the posts where I clarified my position a bit further, in a calm, measured manner, have been completely disregarded.[/quote]
Don't bother, @Defenbaker. It's not about actually being offended by your posts - it's about finding a reason to ignore what hundreds of women are saying. If you hadn't said what you did, they would have found something else to decry.

It's a very old and well-used tactic.

MissLucyEyelesbarrow · 14/12/2020 08:41

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

MsTSwift · 14/12/2020 08:41

Not by me - one poster. I certainly don’t think that just instinctively feel and always have actually that drag is taking the piss out of women and if done to any other identifiable group would be seen as unacceptable. Don’t understand why women are fair game. Actually I do. The ingrained misogyny so well explained a few posts up.

Quaagars · 14/12/2020 08:46

it's about finding a reason to ignore what hundreds of women are saying. If you hadn't said what you did, they would have found something else to decry

So why have we been engaging with other opinions apart from our own then?
I know you'd rather let outright foul comments slide though, must be uncomfortable when they're responded to and not ignored or agreed with.

It's a very old and well-used tactic

formerbabe · 14/12/2020 09:02

I'm still massively confused by what @Quaagars said...apparently you're either Jewish or you're not but there's many ways to be a woman. I've told you I'm a non practising Jew, many practice, some are orthodox or reform or Hasidic, some convert, some consider themselves to be culturally Jewish. I'm explained that to you, now why don't you explain to me some of the many ways there are to be a woman as you stated?

BrumBoo · 14/12/2020 09:02

This just came up on my Facebook, and honestly it just proves that society have no idea of irony anymore. Straight man gives 'embarrassingly stereotypical performance of gay man'. Who's going to jump in to defend it as 'just some fun' and 'no one can stop him doing his art'.

www.unilad.co.uk/film-and-tv/james-cordens-performance-as-gay-man-in-new-netflix-movie-labelled-horrifically-bad/?source=facebook

Quaagars · 14/12/2020 09:05

Drag has got nothing to being with trans

Completely agree - so why do people keep conflating the two

Wheresmykimchi · 14/12/2020 09:10

[quote EverybodystalkingaboutJamie]@Wheresmykimchi it's not deep, I was watching Strictly - it was a shit song - it's not even a musical I've watched! I change my username every 2 weeks - usually inspired by my immediate environment. Given your reaction I suspect I've been a bit too casual with my choice?😬[/quote]
No, you're good , but everybodys talking about Jamie is a musical based on a boy becoming a drag artist

Wheresmykimchi · 14/12/2020 09:12

@Quaagars

We tell children if they're lost, find a policeman or a lady to help you

I've always said to mine a police officer or to go into a shop and find a member of staff there.
Not sure why a lady would be an automatic safe space?
Also just thinking aloud

But do you not think the fact that we tell children that all ladies , any lady , particularly those with children , is safe , but only a man in a trusted position is safe , goes somewhere to explain the embedded sexism in our society which results in these ridiculous views that most men are violent and aggressive and women must be protected?

Quaagars · 14/12/2020 09:13

but everybodys talking about Jamie is a musical based on a boy becoming a drag artist

Didn't know that lol

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