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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think London commute towns are no better than Edinburgh for raising a family?

583 replies

JenXG · 10/12/2020 09:38

So basically DH and I are having a debate on whether to leave Edinburgh and move to a commute town outside London. (we have to stick with Edinburgh / London as working in financial sector but both of us would avoid London because of traffic/pollution/crowded streets).

The main reason for DH favouring those commute towns is that they seem to have loads of good schools for DS (4mo) to choose from compared to Edinburgh where there are only a few (or hardly any if his standard). He has high hope for DS. Also the A-level system is widely recognised across different countries (so potential for studying overseas) but the same cant be said for the Scotland system.

My worry is that we are giving up preferred lifestyle for a very small difference in schooling. I grew up in a big city and always need busy streets nearby. I understand some places such as Guildford will have its own town centre but there are still fewer things going on compared to Edinburgh. For example, there are a wide range of fine restuarants, several theatres & cinemas, pubs, etc in Edinburgh but living in Guildford we'd still have to go to London for a night out? I'd assume activities for young kids are more available in Edinburgh than in Guildford? E.g. Edinburgh has a zoo, lots of museums, and a coastline where you can do kayaking. Also Guildford is one of the busier towns as I understand. Some other commute towns are even quieter. So we'd highly likely end up travelling to London a lot which is not fun (I'm far more used to walking or driving a little bit to favourite places than hours of trains/tubes).

What do people think? I haven't been to many places in the southern area. Maybe I have misunderstood what life would be like there? Would you relocate if you were us?

OP posts:
Parker231 · 12/12/2020 17:04

A huge advantage of staying in Scotland - free Uni education at good Unis.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 12/12/2020 18:54

@cosima5

Edinburgh is a city of only half a million people, so you can’t really compare it to London, Paris, New York, etc. I spent time in Edinburgh and I wouldn’t say it’s particularly multi-cultural or diverse. It can be a fun city, yes, but it’s also a harsh, grey place to live and the architecture is austere (the buildings definitely needed the soot cleaning off them when I was there). The wind is something else if you’re not used to it and the summer is about two weeks long. I think you have to be quite tough to enjoy life up there and you can see that etched in peoples faces, but then I’m sure someone living in the South of France would say the same about London. It’s all relative.

One place I could not cope with however, is Aberdeen...

The whole city centre is a world heritage site so it seems there's something worth preserving in that there austere architecture, even if the stresses of living amongst it do show on our faces...

@opinionatedfreak I was brought up just outside Edinburgh and eventually ended up working in a bank - I thought everyone was just being nice when they asked me where I went to school until my colleague put me straight...

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 12/12/2020 19:00

Have lived Edinburgh. Glasgow, when it’s asked where did you go to school it has different connotations for each city
Edinburgh they’re trying to establish did you go to private school?which one?
Glasgow they’re trying to establish are ye a billy or a Tim? They don’t give flying fuck if it’s private or no?only was it a billy or Tim private school

Ickle37 · 12/12/2020 19:05

I am from SE, its depressing, soul less and frankly full of misery and the miserable. For all that joy you get to spend extortionate amount of money on a crap new build house or a small fortune on something with room enough to live. Dont do it. Stay in gorgeous Scotland. Where i would live in a heartbeat but the cold is just TM.
Oh and before i forget... commuting in SE to London will put 10yrs on you. Many times i was in tears at Gatwick simply unable to get home, in the dark, in the rain and snow. The rail network is shite.

SomelikeitHoth · 12/12/2020 19:14

Edinburgh is lovely. Can't understand why you would leave there for horrible London?

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 12/12/2020 19:16

London is fabulous
I’ve lived Edinburgh,Glasgow,London and love them all. 3 fantastic cities with amazing people and great vibe

ImNotMeImSomeoneElse · 12/12/2020 19:47

The wind is something else if you’re not used to it and the summer is about two weeks long. I think you have to be quite tough to enjoy life up there

Nah, you don't need to be tough. Just not a complete wuss!

hopingforonlychild · 12/12/2020 19:49

@Ickle37 when i was buying my first property last year, everyone and their dog kept trying to persuade me to move to SE for 'better quality of life'. Why?
Other than cheaper house prices than London (which don't actually work out cheaper when commuting is considered, but that aside).

opinionatedfreak · 12/12/2020 20:26

@LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett the Edinburgh standoff...
1)where did you grow up ?
2) which school did you go to?

Answers invariably lead to (depressingly accurate) social pigeon holing.

I’m 43 and when I meet new people from Edinburgh it still happens....

soopedup · 12/12/2020 20:56

I was in Guildford a few days ago. Compared to the other commuter towns it’s good. There’s no way I’d leave Edinburgh for it. You’ll regret it.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 13/12/2020 00:10

[quote opinionatedfreak]@LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett the Edinburgh standoff...
1)where did you grow up ?
2) which school did you go to?

Answers invariably lead to (depressingly accurate) social pigeon holing.

I’m 43 and when I meet new people from Edinburgh it still happens....[/quote]
Oh I know and 20 years younger me used to just chirrup 'name of shithole town in East Lothian' and 'name of perfectly bog standard only high school in town' and smile at them for being interested. Still remember my Edinburgh born and bred colleague (JGH) trying to explain it.

Schehezarade · 13/12/2020 06:45

London is fabulous
I’ve lived Edinburgh,Glasgow,London and love them all. 3 fantastic cities with amazing people and great vibe

I think this is the truth.
My only complaint, and I could be wrong here, is that plays/musicals/shows do not get out to the regions as much as they did won't mention bresxit . So you are forced to go to London to see stuff. And that's expensive if you are beyond commuting distance.

Piglet89 · 13/12/2020 07:25

We’re making the opposite move (well, London to Edinburgh). My husband plans to be a WILLIE. Can’t wait.

Scottishskifun · 13/12/2020 08:38

@cosima5

Edinburgh is a city of only half a million people, so you can’t really compare it to London, Paris, New York, etc. I spent time in Edinburgh and I wouldn’t say it’s particularly multi-cultural or diverse. It can be a fun city, yes, but it’s also a harsh, grey place to live and the architecture is austere (the buildings definitely needed the soot cleaning off them when I was there). The wind is something else if you’re not used to it and the summer is about two weeks long. I think you have to be quite tough to enjoy life up there and you can see that etched in peoples faces, but then I’m sure someone living in the South of France would say the same about London. It’s all relative.

One place I could not cope with however, is Aberdeen...

Edinburgh is pretty warm, I moved from Devon to Aberdeen over a decade ago. Now live in Aberdeenshire which is beautiful. Aberdeen like any city has nice bits and rough bits the granite is very grey on a dreich day but sparkles when the sun shines! We get far less rain than the west coast so actually get quite a lot of sunny days it's just rarely warm with it but 17 degrees here is t shirt and shorts!
bloodpressureboiling · 13/12/2020 09:27

We’re making the opposite move (well, London to Edinburgh). My husband plans to be a WILLIE. Can’t wait.

Love this! I'm a NIPPLE!

Piglet89 · 13/12/2020 12:41

@bloodpressureboiling brilliant! I am also a NIPPLE (not for much longer tho). Are you an official member of NIPPLE on LinkedIn?

Piglet89 · 13/12/2020 12:43

Well, I will still be a NIPPLE if the “E” stands for “Exile” rather than “England”.

I’ll just no longer be an English tit. As it were.

NotAnActualSheep · 13/12/2020 13:20

@bloodpressureboiling

We’re making the opposite move (well, London to Edinburgh). My husband plans to be a WILLIE. Can’t wait.

Love this! I'm a NIPPLE!

A what now?! Xmas Confused
HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 13/12/2020 13:28

WILLIE - Works In London Lives In Edinburgh

bloodpressureboiling · 13/12/2020 13:31

Northern Irish professional person living in Edinburgh

Piglet89 · 13/12/2020 13:39

AAAAAAAAH! I will still be a NIPPLE too then!

The LinkedIn site stands for “Northern Irish People Living in Exile”. I think.

hapagirl · 13/12/2020 13:42

I haven’t read the whole thread but I live in Edinburgh with school age children. OP, tell your DH that in my street of 10 houses, two kids from two different houses from state school went to Cambridge uni. The other state schoolers went to Edinburgh, St Andrews and Glasgow. Some kids on the street went to private school, they have gone to Edinburgh, Glasgow, Dundee. But I feel for the 4 month old child who didn’t sound like he will be able to follow his own path.

HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee · 13/12/2020 13:44

NIPPLE Northern Irish Professional Person Living Elsewhere/England

Pollypocket21 · 13/12/2020 13:47

Guildford is a horrible commute. Slow unreliable trains.

Piglet89 · 13/12/2020 13:53

NIPPLEs.

To think London commute towns are no better than Edinburgh for raising a family?
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